How to get better at remembering names
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How to get better at remembering names
Are you good with names? Many of us are willing to admit we’re not. A study in Psychology and Aging found that Americans often overestimate their abilities when it comes to traits like leadership and honesty. However, they rate themselves as below average when it comes to remembering names.
You could simply say, “I’m not good with names” and do nothing about it, but that’s the wrong mindset, says Ivan Misner, founder of BNI, a business networking organization, and author of?Who’s in Your Room: The Secret to Creating Your Best Life.
“People think others are born good at it, but it’s a practiced skill,” he says. “To say, ‘I’m not good at remembering names’ really says, ‘It’s not important to me.’”
Laura Crandall, a workplace communication coach and instructor at Harvard Extension School, agrees. “Stop saying, ‘I’m so bad with names,’” she says. “Self-fulfilling prophecy is a real thing. If you label yourself as bad at something, it’s harder to improve.”
Instead, commit to getting better by using these six tools:
1. PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING
Start off strong by making an effort to listen carefully when someone is being introduced, says Jess Todtfeld, founder of Results First Training, a media training coach.
“It’s easy to let the name slip past you if you’re focused on what you’re going to say next,” he says.
2. REPEAT IT RIGHT AWAY
After you’re introduced, ask the person to repeat their name, especially if it’s hard to pronounce or is unusual, Misner says. Then repeat their name yourself.
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“Repetition plants the name into your brain more effectively,” he says. “Saying it out loud will make you much more likely to remember it.”
Insert the person’s name during the conversation, such as asking, “Where are you from, Nick?” Or introduce them to someone else in the room that you know. These actions not only serve as additional repetition but they also show the person that you care enough to remember them, Misner says, adding, “It’s about connection.”
3. MAKE AN ASSOCIATION WITH THE NAME IN YOUR MIND
Memory champions often use association to remember random lists. Todtfeld uses this tool, too, but with names, linking the person’s name to a visual image.
“For instance, if you meet someone named Lily, you might imagine a lily flower next to her face,” he says. “Or associate their name with a distinct facial feature. For example, Brian with the bushy eyebrows.”
Rhyme or alliteration can also make a name memorable, Todtfeld adds. For example, picture “Mike on a bike” or “Sam eating ham.”
When introduced to someone new, Katherine R. Hutt, president of the public relations firm Nautilus Communications, likes to find a connection to someone else she knows who has the same name. “For example, ‘Nice to meet you. John was the name of my favorite uncle.’”
4. LEAN INTO YOUR LEARNING STYLE
The way you learn can also help you remember names. Some of us are visual learners, while others are audio or kinetic.
“I am a terrible audio learner, so hearing someone’s name spoken out loud does nothing for me as far as remembering it,” Hutt says. “I am 20 times more likely to remember someone’s name if I see it written down.”
Hutt asks for the person’s business card, then holds it in her hand, glancing at it while they are talking.
Kinetic learners, who need hands-on interactions to commit something to memory, might also benefit from holding someone’s business card or from writing down the person’s name.
5. PREPARE IN ADVANCE
If you’re attending a large conference, Hutt suggests being proactive by checking for a directory of attendees. She reads through it ahead of time to re-familiarize herself with people she may have already met.
“I sometimes look them up on LinkedIn and even screenshot their name and photo so I can quickly refer to it as I am walking around an event,” she says.
6. OWN IT
As hard as you try, chances are you’ll forget someone’s name. Hutt says it helps if you simply own it.
“I’ll say something like ‘I have a terrible memory for names but a great memory for faces, and I know we’ve met before. I’m Katherine Hutt with Nautilus Communications,’” she says. “Ninety-nine times out of 100 they will say their name and company in reply, and I often get a sympathetic response like ‘Me, too! I’m so glad you said that.’”
BUT DON’T SHRUG IT OFF
Remembering people’s names is an important social skill that shows attentiveness and respect, Todtfeld says, noting, “Not getting people’s names right can be the opposite, showing that you don’t really care about them.”
When you remember someone, you become more memorable, Misner adds. “It makes us feel good because people like to be remembered. When you remember their name, they’re more likely to remember yours.”
Want to see how other Fast Company readers remember people's names? Take our LinkedIn poll—and don't forget to leave your best tips and tricks in the comments.
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