How To Get Better at the Juggling Act of Modern Life

Despite being dyspraxic and having no coordination whatsoever, I am a brilliant juggler. I can juggle all day and juggle all sorts of different items.

As long as there is only one item to juggle. Two at a push if they are small, but then I am pushing my luck.

Who said juggling had to use more than one item anyway?!

We all do a lot of juggling in our busy modern lives.

We juggle responsibilities, to do lists, and priorities.

We juggle many different problems, all of which seem to come at once and many of which seem to be interdependent.

We juggle our hopes and dreams with the things that we are obliged to do each day.

Sometimes we have to juggle coping with a life changing event, like moving house or job, or the death of a loved one, while still keeping the other aspects of our lives at least ticking over.

(That is why it can be so much appreciated when someone brings you a meal or offers to walk the dog during a time of crisis. Keeping those essential day to day things going can be an ask too far.)

In my experience, though, when we are juggling many different things, the issue is not how big an individual issue may be, but the number of priorities that we have to juggle at once.

A very big problem can be awful to tackle, but if that is all you are facing you can give it everything.

The trouble is, it is never all we have to face, is it?

Even if we have only one thing to focus on in that moment, our mind inevitably starts to wander given half an opportunity.

I suspect that the ability to control this (or not) is one of the things that makes some people truly great at what they do, be it chess, canoeing, or carpentry.

They can shut out absolutely everything else for a period and give their all to the task at hand.

I find that very difficult to do, at least by choice.

I can find myself in retrospect having had a period of hyperfocus when I did forget everything, usually to write.

But I struggle to dial it up to order!

In normal day to day life, we are seldom only focused on one thing for very long.

This is a problem, as research has shown that once you are distracted it can take a lot of time and energy to regain your focus.

But it also means we are subject to becoming overwhelmed.

Our modern, always connected life does not help.

How can you keep focused when emails, texts, and calls keep pinging up on your screens?

Of course, good practice is to turn all your notifications off for periods while you focus.

But my anxiety-ridden mind then worries about the urgent things that I may be missing.

It can be easy to get into a position where we have so many things to do, or so many problems to address, that we do not know where to start.

This is where I find that it can help if you try and shut emotion out of the decision making, if only for a moment.

A brief interlude of dispassionate logic can help us get back on track and find a way forward.

For me, there are two criteria to use in determining which items to start with.

Firstly, the things which are important and time critical.

We cannot deprioritise picking up our children from school on time, going to work when expected, or meeting out basic self-care needs like eating properly and sleeping.

There may also be urgent issues beyond that which must be addressed – an email which must be replied to or a bill to be paid before further action is taken.

But after that, I have learnt to then try and focus on the number of open issues rather than the relative merits of the things that I need to do.

Taking action to quickly reduce the number of items on my list of worries, actions, or things to do can work wonders for me.

Finding a few quick wins – things that can be quickly dealt with and forgotten- can hugely reduce the mental burden we are struggling under.

I have one other strategy that I use when I have lots of difficult, stressful, or nasty things to deal with.

Many years ago I was in a lot of debt, and being pursued by several different organisations to whom I owed money.

I had to call them regularly to update them on my situation and agree repayment plans.

It was horrible. I hate phone calls at the best of times, and these were among the most stressful calls I have had to make.

The way I found for managing it was, wherever possible, to make one call a day.

This meant that I was making progress and addressing my problems.

But it felt a lot more manageable that way.

Once I had made the call for the day, I could relax and know that I need not think about it until tomorrow.

That may not work for you.

You may prefer to have a blitz for a period and try and clear as many of the things that are on your mind as you can, and then relax.

The important thing is to have a strategy, and to get your to do list down.

It is the mental and emotional burden that wears us down.

Knowing that while we have a lot to do, we have a plan for getting it done helps enormously in that respect.

Getting the list down can feel great as well.

We may end the day knowing that we still have difficult stuff to deal with tomorrow, but we have made progress and freed more capacity for the hard tasks ahead.

However much you are juggling, be kind to yourself.

You need rest, proper food, and time for yourself.

Think how you would advise a friend in the position you find yourself in, and follow that advice.

It is not easy, and modern life is a huge, ongoing juggling act.

But having a plan can make a big difference.

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