How to Get Along with Difficult People

Communication skills are vital to success in every aspect of life. Asking the right questions can help you get along with even the most difficult people.

In a recent article, I covered some basics when it comes to getting along with coworkers that you simply can’t stand (read last week’s article HERE). Today I’d like to go a little deeper and look at some really incredible communication techniques you can use to better get along with coworkers, your boss, and even your family members, even when they are difficult.

These techniques are based on the DiSC system, which I have found to completely transform the way I (and my clients) interact with others in the workplace.

The basic principle is this: every one of us has a primary method of communication. When we understand how we communicate, and we understand how another person communicates, we can more easily bridge the gap in sharing ideas.

But What if You Really Can’t Stand the Other Person?

Yes, we all have had the experience of truly just not being able to stand another person in our office. How can we work with them... even though we don’t like them?

Most often when we decide that someone is difficult, it is the result of an interaction we had with him or her. An email, a conversation, a story we heard.

When we can take the personal feelings out of the equation (i.e., thoughts like, “I’m so insulted that she did X” or “He doesn’t respect me”), we can see that usually the issue is simply a difference in communication styles. It’s not that the other person is “bad” or that we’re inadequate.

Tweet: Personal feelings aside, most workplace issues are simply a difference in communication styles.

Start with an Open Heart and Ask the Right Questions

All of our perceptions are based on our experiences. If you meet someone who has a similar communication style to another person you dislike, you may decide, “Okay, this person is difficult. I don’t like working with him.”

It’s okay that you have a perception of that person, but make sure it doesn’t keep you from working toward understanding how to better communicate with him. In other words, don’t let your decision that he is difficult block your ability to get along with him and work with him.

There are some questions you can ask yourself to pinpoint where you are on the DiSC chart, and where he is. Understanding yourself and him a little better will create a pathway for a better work environment (because chances are, he’s thinking that YOU are difficult, too!).

First, ask the following questions of yourself:

1.    Am I fast-paced and outspoken, or cautious and reflective?
2.    Am I questioning and skeptical, or accepting and warm?

Now, based on your answers, identify where you are in the DiSC model.

Next, reflect on the person you perceive as being difficult and ask the same two questions about him. Where on the DiSC model does he fit in? When you see how his tendencies, you in turn can look into some ways to communicate differently that will be more effective, less frustration and more collaboration!

Communication skills are absolutely vital to success in a workplace (every aspect of life requires communication skills: work, family, friends!). When you understand how you prefer to communicate and how others around you prefer to communicate, things will get done much more quickly, efficiently and pleasantly.

If you’re interested in learning more about your communication style through the DiSC Profile, click HERE to set up a time to speak with me one-on-one.

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Nozomi Morgan, MBA, is a certified Executive Coach and the Founder and President of Michiki Morgan Worldwide LLC. Addition to coaching, she speaks and trains on leadership, career, professional development and cross-cultural business communication.

Nozomi’s clients have a yen for international business, to be successful in the global marketplace, and savvy in international and cross-cultural relations. Her work includes coaching experienced professionals from all over the world — from C-suite executives to up-and-coming managers.

She also works with multinational teams within global corporations to overcome the tension and frustration that can naturally arise from cultural differences. Her clients experience dramatic improvement in key performance indicators through enhancing communication and cultivating trust.

Her diverse international background—having lived in Asia, Europe and North America—gives her a wealth of experience and knowledge as a coach, speaker and mentor. Born and raised in Japan, she values integrity, professionalism, and respect, all of which are tenets of her deeply ingrained heritage.

Visit www.nozomimorgan.com to learn more about Nozomi. There, you can download the free Leadership Discovery Tool.