How genuine apologies build personal brand trust & my new office manager

An element ?that is an important?part of personal brand trust and integrity is the value of genuine apologies. ?

In this newsletter I dive into the what, how and nuances of saying sorry. And for a balance of light and fun, I share the news of my office manager to finish.

Personal brand reputations and business integrity is wrapped around the confidence to trust in relationships and outcomes.???

But when the proverbial hits the fan there are real opportunities to boost brand trust.

And the proverbial will hit the fan at some point in some way to and from us all. ?

And when the fan spins it’s a real opportunity to review how genuine apologies build personal and brand trust.

As humans riding a constant business roller coaster of survival, competition, overwhelm and priorities, we are not perfect or faultless in everything we do.?

We can and do often mistreat others, make mistakes, are negligent, cause harm, breach trust and misjudge.???

But how we respond after the act is significant on many levels and influence our personal brand authority and reputations.?Whether the stuff up was miniscule or mammoth, consequences are intrinsic.?

And those flow across the commercial and financial sides of business, notwithstanding the impact on human relationships and the mental wellbeing of all involved.

For clarity, I am not talking here about mistakes of the monumental, geopolitical government, institutional or the royal commission kind.??

Given that humans blunder, be it, intentional or inadvertent, why is admitting and apologising like pulling a decayed tooth from a tiger??What prevents people from stepping out to take responsibility and remedy???

Many struggle with apologies and admitting mistakes putting their heads in the sand like an?ostrich. Denial or a determination to shift blame, save ego and skin is an unsound place to paddle.

Owning and admitting mistakes of any kind can feel like a loss of business power and a declaration of weakness. This is totally nonsense as taking responsibility and apologising actually takes great courage and strength.?

Studies including those as reported in Psychology Today show that entrenched?non-apologists?grapple with deeper psychological conflict around apologising as it elicits really shameful feelings (either conscious or?unconscious) they desperately want to avoid.??

A genuine apology can move mountains of despair.

It can?elevate self-esteem and purpose,?build partnerships, foster trust and most importantly, allow business and relationships to?repair, grow and succeed.

Outcomes & benefits:?

• Ethical – it’s right and decent thing to do
• Repairs and re-establish partnerships and relationships
• Restores dignity and workflow
• Positive impact on reputation and referrals
• Risk management and reduction in adverse PR
• Minimises conflict and gives the space for business creativity
• Strengthens self-respect and values which impact our?personal brands
• Improves your wellbeing and self-esteem.?

Sincere?apologies should not be given in the expectation of?forgiveness. Sure, it is an?ideal by-product, but other people’s response is their responsibility. It’s about righting a wrong and contrition.

A genuine apology centres on the intention after reflection of the impact. If you cannot be genuine, then reflect on why not, and don’t say the words yet, because I promise you that feelings and thoughts are equally as powerful and loud as words and actions.

Think of a time when a friend or colleague was in distress, and when trying to help, you were met with an?‘I’m fine, nothing is wrong at all’.?You damn well knew something was wrong, it’s as clear as day, yet the words are disparate to the sensing.

Similar to disingenuous apologies. Notice how they are often given with a gruff “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again” as the person huffs off across the office. The manipulative ‘sorry’ to immediately gain favour is also transparent. As is a gushing “I’m so sorry, I was wrong” without other words, deeper conversations and actions.

Firstly,?apologies?which are not?apologies but full of transferred blame don’t cut it.?The?‘I’m?sorry?you were offended” or?‘I’m sorry you felt that way’?can cause even more harm. Everyone knows there is no true intent for mending a relationship.?

But it brings up the question of intent and interest to improve the relationship with the person or business????

So if you are genuine there are 4 elements of an apology.?If number 2 (amends) is missing in action it’s an indicator the apology may be vacuous and insincere.?Like any communication skill it takes guidance and practice.

Delivery can be in person, over the phone or via email. An email is the least ideal as it really can be a weasel way out. A caveat, of course, is to be mindful of the recipient and the situation and appreciate how they will feel receiving the apology to reduce further harm. Be brave but respectful

A heartfelt apology delivered meaningfully with a genuine expression of genuine remorse is so important.?Understand the impact of the issue on the other person/s beforehand.

1. Admitting fault and taking responsibility?

Own up and take responsibility.?Keep excuses and extenuating circumstances to a minimum. A raft of excuses weakens the apology, as it can translate as narcissistic and disingenuous.

If there are valid commercial circumstances, offer an explanation, but keep it brief and relevant unless it is really a complex technical issue. Within this step, also sharing an appreciation of how the mistake impacted is important.

2. Ask how to make amends

Asking how you can make it right is the stamp of true remorse and emotional intelligence.

Amends may be in the form of actions, financial compensation, time support, referrals or something of value to the other person. Think of how you can help prior to the apology and give a few options for the party to consider if appropriate. This is where actions do speak louder than words.

3. Repentance

This repairs trust. Commit to being mindful of not repeating in the future.?Be very intentional.

4. Ask forgiveness

As mentioned above, this is an ideal outcome, but not in your control. But it helps bridge confidence for both parties to become a united part of enduring solutions and relationships.?Just a side here, forgiveness also has the power to move mountains, from both sides.

Meet my new office manager Henry who joined the team this week. ?Whilst only 9 weeks old as of writing and a 4 legged human (aka Cavalier), his ability to help my time management, encourage early morning routines and make my heart sing and laugh cannot be underestimated. ?

Bugger that he will find it difficult to use my beloved coffee machine (as I wrote about in my previous newsletter). Mr Henry joins my older Cavalier team who have been less than enthusiastic in their senior years to pitch in.

Hoping though Henry will learn to do some LinkedIn posts at some point too ???

Till next time.

About

Sue Parker is the founder and owner of DARE Group Australia.??A personal brand communications, career/job search strategist and LinkedIn specialist. Sue works with business leaders, small businesses and career executives in both?public and private sectors.?

A well published media commentator and writer on her expertise, Sue is Australia’s leading media contributor on LinkedIn topics and news.?TV & Media Portfolio here

Known for her witty insightful opinions and bold strategies, she helps clients step up and stand out with confidence and impact.

Get in touch to explore how Sue can help your business or career goals and challenges.?[email protected]?or?www.daregroupaustralia.com.au

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