How to Gain Communication Credibility

Why communication is important as expressed by my then eight-year-old daughter. It is a true story that I recommend you read slowly to make sure you don't miss anything.

Tatum (my daughter) was given a note from a little boy named Adam asking her to "go out with him." The teacher saw the note and asked Tatum about it. She said she thought it came from Adam and that it was just sitting on her desk. Mrs. Smith went to Adam and said, "Did you write this note?" He replied, "No." So, she asked Cedrick, a little boy who sits across from Adam, "Is this note from you?" Cedrick replied, "No." Now Mrs. Smith is confused so she said to Cedrick, "You don't know anything about this note?" Cedrick said, "I know about it." Now Mrs. Smith is a little annoyed and she said, "But I just asked if you wrote it and you said no." Cedrick said, "No, you asked if it was from me and it's not—it's from Adam." So, she said, "Adam, I asked if the note was from you and you said no." Adam said, "No, you asked if I wrote it. My handwriting isn't very good so I had Cedrick write it for me."

Why is this story important? Because it clearly shows how easily a message can be misunderstood. In the workplace, this often leads to confusion, poor productivity, and may even impact team dynamics over time. I like to break communication down pragmatically.

If you take only one thing from this blog, it is knowing your audience. If you invest a little time to answering these questions prior to communicating, it will go a long way in solidifying your message with the right impact.

·       Who is the communication going to or who will you be communicating with?

·       Do you know who will be in the meeting or receiving your email?

·       What's the goal of the communication (e.g., inform, persuade, request action)?

·       What is the expected deliverable (e.g., accountabilities, key dates)?

If you're unsure of these answers, ask. Clarifying and confirming are critical communication skills.

Every time you communicate, your credibility is at stake. You might want to do a gut-check on your filler words. Is your message getting lost in um, ah, ya know, like, really, right, so? If you want to keep them in check, be conscious of them. As soon as you pay attention to them, you will improve. I suggest having a trusted colleague count them during a meeting where you have a large role and report back to you. The filler words may never go away completely, but you will see a significant improvement. In addition to filler words, there are other commonly overused phrases you might want to listen for. I like to call them crutch phrases:

?  Do you minimize yourself by writing or saying "just," "sort of," and "kind of"… (tell people what you want to tell them as opposed to being passive).  

    Reduce qualifiers and weak language.

?  "To be honest with you"… (was everything said prior untruthful?)

?  "It is what it is"… (I always wanted to know what "it" is)

?  "At the end of the day"… (we're all going home)

?  "Supposebly" (incorrect) vs. supposedly (correct)

?  "Irregardless" (merger of regardless and irrespective. Yes, it's in the dictionary, but not preferred)

?  "Literally"… (overused. Literally, enough said!)

?  "Actually", "basically", "quote unquote", "per se", "technically", "perspective", among so many others.

I have used them all and still find myself slipping! I recommend going back to the original sentence without using these words/phrases and asking yourself, does the content or the message change? Most of the time the answer is no. In many cases, you are tightening and strengthening your message without them.

Communication only improves when we take action. Here are some recommendations:

?  Join a local Toastmasters International club (it may not be for everyone but is highly recommended to at least check it out). See www.toastmasters.org for a club near you.

?  Write every day. Whether it is a journal, handwritten notes, blog, or poetry, it doesn't matter—find time to write.

   It will make you more efficient in your emails, more conscience of your skills, and conscious of your opportunities.

?  Get a mentor to specifically work on your communication skills.

?  Be a mentor. It gives you an opportunity to practice your communication skills.

?  Proactively ask for feedback—not only from your direct manager.

?  Be genuine. Be yourself. Stop trying to impress people with big words and worry about making sure your message is understood.

?  Build relationships of trust and respect. People will be much more forgiving of communication opportunities.

?  Do more listening than talking.

?  Finish thoughts and phrases strongly.

?  Organize your thoughts. Take the time to think it through prior to responding.

?  Stop email chains with a phone call when needed. Reduce the need to "reply all."

I once had a manager say, "98% of all problems have some root in miscommunication." Although it's anecdotal, it's also never been disproved. Overall, communication is a learned trait and must constantly be nurtured.

Why is communication so important to me? Although I was a communication major in college, I consistently received feedback for many years after I graduated that I needed to work on my communication skills. I spent too much of my early career struggling in my abilities to listen effectively, to speak coherently to higher levels, and to be concise in my messaging, among so many other opportunities. It wasn't until I joined Toastmasters International that I was able to put it all together. Toastmasters may not be for everyone, but I do recommend people checking it out. I realized not only did I need to take a more proactive approach to refine my communication skills, I also learned to appreciate the gift of feedback. When we learn from our mistakes, we become better. My confidence increased quickly, and I felt that my communication skills improved exponentially.

About the author: In addition to being a Risk Manager, Tom Dowd is a 12-year Toastmaster member, member of the National Speakers Association, and author of five professional development books.