How to frame scared Agile workers?

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Scaring Agile is a monumental task, hence we call it frame work.

The following key points should be considered when framing Agile in a way that maximally scares workers:

1. Invest in Monumental Frames: Go big or go home! To properly frame all of your scared Agile workers, consider installing massive picture frames in your office. The larger the frame, the more Agile your organization becomes. Go for a frame that's visible from space to really make an impact.
2. Frame Consultants: Hire professional framers to drive the change - the more, the merrier! They'll ensure that your Agile Frames are perfectly aligned to your projects, and they'll scare your teams into doing twice the Agile work in half the time.
3. Frame Certifications: Create custom frames for all those certificates you'll be collecting! Hang them on the wall, and the more framed certificates you have, the more Agile you are. Soon, your office will look like an Agile Center of Excellence.
4. Frame Points: Team members collect frame points by doing Agile chores: Raising a blocker, changing ticket status, washing the dishes — everything becomes an Agile task that earns points when you do it inside a frame.
5. Frame Backlog: Don't just have a product backlog; have a backlog of frames! Assign a frame to each team, and teams can only work on tasks in their own designated frame.
6. Frame Sprints: Stop projects - start framing. Frame your teams to sprint from one frame to another. The faster they can switch between frames, the more frame points they earn.
7. Frame Stand-Up Comedy: Incorporate stand-up comedy into your dailies. Team members deliver Agile jokes within their frames. Bonus points for making the Product Clowny laugh.
8. Frame Reviews: Every other week, organize a "frame parade" where each team members strikes a pose inside their frame, and everyone else gets to rate their agility.
9. Frame Retrospectives: In a dimly lit room, team members gather in front of their frames and share their feedback using only whispers. The quieter, the better. The team member with the quietest whisper gets the "Scary Frame" award.
10. Product Clowny: The Product Clowny is the sad juggling sensation of the Agile circus. They keep a huge Backlog filled with Priority 1 topics and must keep all the balls in the air. What's more, the audience, or rather, any bystander can throw them an extra ball at any moment. It's a never-ending juggling act that keeps the Product Clowny on their toes - and everyone in stitches.
11. Crummy Master: The Crummy Master sees all the scary things going on in the Framed Agile Teams, and everyone can have a laugh when they make funny remarks. Just like the Product Clowny, they exist solely for amusement of their audience.
12. Scary Frame Planning: The ringmaster, equipped with top hat and a whip, leads all teams into the Planning circus. When teams present their plans, they must do so while juggling balls of red wool. The team with the most impressive performance wins extra Frame Points.
13. Scary System Demo: Every once in a while, host a high-stakes spectacle where team members must demonstrate their work while riding emotional rollercoasters. The twist? If they drop any frames, they lose Frame Points and get taken for a ride. To add even more excitement, have a rollercoaster operator dressed as a ringmaster announce each team's demo.
14. Inspect and Adapt: To ensure a truly "hair-raising" experience, conduct cyclical Inspect and Adapt sessions in a haunted house. When discussing improvements, have a ghostly figure called "manager" pop out from a corner to ensure team members are too scared to try anything fancy.

These tips should make sure that all of your Agile workers will be scared of getting framed.

Have fun framing your scared Agile workers - and remember to ponder the deeper issues behind the humor!