How to Foster Connection in the Workplace

Welcome back to the Amplify Emotional Intelligence newsletter. Twice a month, I’ll share advice and inspiration to help you develop emotionally intelligent leaders and transform your company culture. Together, we can #amplifyei and create more belonging.

How to Foster Connection in the Workplace?

Connection is the gateway to belonging. Brené Brown defines it as “the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.” It’s what takes you from knowing who a person is to knowing what they’re all about.?

My 7 Keys to Emotional Intelligence? are all about arriving at a culture of belonging. Connection lays the foundation for the interpersonal keys . Knowing how to connect can help you thrive in relationships with others through collaboration, communication, and conflict management.

The qualities of meaningful connection

Relationships of all types —from deep friendships to casual work buddies—are shown to contribute to a person's well-being. Social connection is an important part of daily life, but it takes a willingness to put yourself out there. True connection calls on traits like curiosity, empathy, compassion, and vulnerability.?

Curiosity

Getting to know someone requires curiosity and interest in their perspectives, values, and who they are as a person. Great leaders build connections by learning what matters to the people around them. If you can’t name someone or something that matters to each person on your team, you’re not doing the work of connecting.

Curiosity fuels conversations that build connections. But sometimes our brains get in the way of that curiosity thanks to heuristics , mental shortcuts that are supposed to increase efficiency but often result in unconscious biases. The brain naturally defaults to these mental shortcuts. Within seconds of meeting someone we can move from observation to assumption based on our cultural messaging, background, and experiences. At best our assumptions are incomplete, and at worst they’re flat-out wrong.?

Pausing to center and check in with your intention to connect can help you replace judgment and unconscious bias with curiosity, which will lead to deeper, genuine relationships.?

Empathy and compassion

You can’t make a connection without empathy, the ability to see and understand another person’s feelings. Mindful listening —the practice of centering your attention on another person’s communications—can help you be more empathetic in your interactions. By giving a person space to see and feel their truth, you’ll get a fuller, more complete understanding that will drive a deeper connection.

Compassion is the caring action that follows empathy. It’s the desire to help and support someone who needs it, and in doing so you may make it clear that a person is valued and cared for.?

Vulnerability?

Connection is a two-way street, so you need to be willing to be seen and heard too. But being vulnerable takes trust, and that’s sometimes hard to muster if connection and belonging aren’t already established. Yet sometimes, taking a leap of faith and opening up to someone is the very thing that leads to deeper connection and stronger relationships. And when leaders exemplify vulnerability in their actions, they may help others feel psychologically safe and open to being seen, heard, and known.?

How to connect with compassion

Connection can be tricky to cultivate, especially with a mix of remote, on-site, and hybrid employees. But a team that feels connected to one another will feel more comfortable sharing ideas, taking risks, and collaborating.

So how can you foster connections in a workplace full of diverse needs and circumstances? The following actions will help you respond to your team’s needs in ways that encourage connection.

Centering

Centering, also known as mindfulness, helps you stay aware of your feelings and unconscious biases. Doing a mindfulness check-in before a conversation can help you control where your attention is going so you can truly show up in conversations and listen empathetically.

Respecting boundaries

Some people are happy to prioritize informal work gatherings, like an after-work happy hour or dining out to celebrate a successful board meeting. But not everyone feels satisfied spending their time that way. Different people will have different ideal work-life balances. Don’t take another’s preference personally or force connection with extra social engagements. Respecting someone’s personal boundaries and needs can be its own act of compassion, and will help bring harmony to the situation.

Leaders can also alleviate this tension by making time and space for connection inside of work hours. Consider a monthly social hour or 10 minutes of non-work discussion at the start of a meeting.

Assume positive intent

Compassion can be a useful tool in building connections despite disagreement. In order to stay connected through conflict or misunderstanding, one must assume positive intent . Trust that everyone involved is doing their best with their resources to create a positive outcome and learn to make room for mistakes. This creates a way forward and sends a message that having a healthy relationship matters more than being right.?

As a board-certified leadership coach, keynote speaker, and facilitator, for over twenty years, Patrice B. Borders has combined her employment law and human capital practices to help organizations and individuals develop resonant leaders, collaborative teams, and inclusive workplace cultures. Continue the conversation at amplifyei.com and stay connected by following #amplifyei .