How focused and present are we?

“Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness … is a matter of conscious choice” (Jim Collins, 2001).

I want to write about 2 stories that are different but both are about the dangers of the bad habits we ourselves are creating through the use of our smartphones without clearly defining for ourselves personal boundaries around their use. Some have termed this MPIL or “Mobile phone interference in life”. At the end of this article I will guide you with a number of questions you can ask yourself around your boundaries with technology so that you can check in with yourself and perhaps create new healthy habits that work for you and those around you.

The first story is about a 22-year-old young lady who is studying law at university. She tells me how hard it is for her to “sit on her butt” and study for a test. She says that every few minutes she needs the distraction of checking her smartphone for incoming messages or how many likes she has received on her latest post. I ask her if this was always so and she tells me no. She remembers herself studying for her final-year examinations four years ago. She did not have this pull to check her phone so often. She said she was able to concentrate for much longer periods of time. Her story is not special - in fact there is an immense amount on research around this exact challenge. See A study by Marci (2012) about mobile phone distraction while studying and another about media induced task switching showing that “media multitasking during such activities has a deleterious impact on well-being”. I suggested to her to use the Pomodora technique. What we need to do is create new mindful habits where we set boundaries around the use of our phones and where we commit or contract with ourselves to sit with one thing for a set amount of time.

Another story is about a 41 year old mother who has two children of ages 7 and 3. She is a successful business consultant, running her own business for the last five years. She works and sees her clients in the mornings and evenings. From 1:30 and till 4 is supposed to be the time she has set aside to be home and present with her kids. Only that this doesn't exactly happen. She is often interrupted by incoming calls that she takes during this time. She remembers an important email she didn't attend to and opens her laptop to reply. She herself says that if she was in a meeting with a client she would never answer the phone or start replying to emails. It bothers her that when she is with her children she does not have this same commitment. She says that often they are busy with their things and so she feels she can take a call here and there. However she feels guilty and tells me what she wants is to recommit to being with her children and to really be present. 

We all have areas where we can decrease or put boundaries around our use of technology. Perhaps we know we watch too much television - perhaps one episode after the next of a series? With Netflix the next show starts even before we can press pause. Perhaps we play an online game like Candy Crush, sudoku, or playstation? We want to be present but we don't define our boundaries and practice them. If we are not conscious about it we may be multitasking. Our brains are used to jumping around and to what is referred to as task switching. I know I can sit in front of a movie and work on my laptop. See article on the dangers of Multitasking and how this reduces our presence, attention and effectivity.

Samantha would like to offer you a complimentary one on one session with her to support you in defining and committing to a new habit or behavior to live more consciously and to be the best version of yourself. Contact Samantha here

Some questions to ponder and perhaps guide you in creating new habits:

What Is the first thing you do when you open your eyes in the morning? If you are like 80% of the Western World then you check your mail, messages or social media on your smartphone? The question is do you want to continue with this habit? 

What does your day look like? When are the times you believe you want a pause from technology?

How often during your day do you check your phone or get interrupted by your phone?

What habits and boundaries do you want to create around limiting your use of technology?

In summary living a conscious life, is about being aware and creating an intent about what we want of ourselves and our lives. There are many distractions that take our attention away. The question is which of these are in our circle of influence and control? In this article I am inviting you the reader to revisit your daily habits and to define and commit to new boundaries and discipline that will have a direct impact on your wellbeing and in supporting you to be the best version of yourself.

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