How to flex your style in underperformance conversations to get the best outcome

Geoff was frustrated because his new team member just wasn't getting it right. She had plenty of capability but he found himself continually stepping in to fix problems. In a 24/7 retail environment, problems had to be fixed immediately. His team member had taken over his area of responsibility, so he was a little more attuned to the problems as well as the solutions: she hadn't yet learned what they were.

As a warm and caring leader, Geoff just wasn't flexing his style - he wasn't being directive enough about what had to happen - and he felt stuck fixing problems he 'shouldn't have to fix'. Geoff realised that he was using his technical not his leadership expertise to solve the problem, and that it was backfiring and contributing to the problem.

Deirdre was doing last minute (10pm) rewrites of policy papers that a new team member had prepared. He was getting the problem construction wrong and therefore making the wrong recommendations. He had all the skills but wasn’t applying them in the right way, and was also lacking a bit of contextual knowledge.

Deirdre had experienced #micromanagement in the past, and no way was she going there herself! She believed in giving smart people #autonomy to get on with their job, but she could see that it wasn't getting the right result.

Like Geoff, Deirdre needed to be more #directive. We worked out a plan where she would give her team member two days to review the initial brief and information provided and come back with some dot points on the key issues and possible recommend. They could then agree on the approach, and he could write a first full draft after that.

Performance problems like these could potentially blow out into much bigger issues that would result in missed KPIs, reputational damage and staff losses.

In this newsletter, I'll work through some conversational processes that leaders can use to engage constructively in conversations about #underperformance that will make a difference.

1. Connect, state the purpose of your conversation, ask permission to give feedback. Say you care.
2. Give appreciation, to contextualise the feedback. Acknowledge what they do well.
3. Name the problem. Describe the behaviour and impact using SBI (what was the Situation or context, what was the observable Behaviour, what was the Impact on you or others.). Keep it behavioural.
4. Validate – what did the person notice, what did they intend, how do they make sense of your feedback? Give them a chance to respond and give their version.
5. Confirm coachability, willingness to engage in the conversation and to be open to change.
6. Set goals – what change would they like to see, would you like to see? What’s possible? Engage them in the solution.
7. Explore options, agree who takes responsibility for change and offer your support. Your way isn’t the only, or necessarily the best way. But it may be.
8. Agree changes, timeframes, monitoring, set review date. Keep it tight - concise, easily measurable and with near-term deadlines.

Once you raise the issue of performance gaps in skills and tasks, that may well raise their anxiety levels. To some extent that is a good thing. You want them to notice that there's something that need to pay attention to differently. However, the person may well experience the cognitive overload that's caused by too much anxiety, and that won't help, so monitor their reaction and help them to stay calm.

How to flex your style while staying focused on the problems

That's the what of conversations, here's more on the how to handle them with warmth, calm and firmness. Having a plan to guide your style in the conversation is particularly helpful. How do you give tough news, but at the same time, come across as caring and warm. This can be a hard balance to get right. Here's my suggestion for how to adapt your style through a tough conversation: flex yourself!

Start by stating the problem and here you should be very directive. This is exactly what we've talked about before, this is what the problem is, what its impact is. If you've had previous conversations, confirm what has improved and make it very clear if there is not enough improvement and what gap remains. This is basically a command and control style, and the only times that you would use such a style are when there's a crisis or poor performance, so it fits. You would use this for a couple of minutes only, to state the problem and the consequences.

Then shift immediately to coach mode. Deliberately relax your shoulders, exhale slowly, smile, show warmth. Ask questions: 'What do you want to achieve?' What have you tried?' 'What can I help you with?' ‘What do you think?’

Then respond to their answers and their questions by providing guidance. Confirm shared perspectives, as identifying common ground is always a good way to develop rapport and buy-in. Discuss what’s acceptable/feasible, outline areas of disagreement, make it clear what’s not acceptable.

Move responsively between coach and guide styles as it remains useful to do. As you can, appreciate the effort the person is making, the insights they share, the #vulnerability they show and the conviction that they demonstrate to changing.

As you come to the end of the conversation, make sure you move back to directive mode. Confirm the problem, your expectations, the actions that are agreed, the timeframes expected, and the support that will be provided.

The image below reinforces how you should show up in these conversations, even thought, at times, it is difficult to do. Your investment in these helps you to detach emotionally from the frustrations you may feel.

If you don’t care about the person, if the prospect of patiently managing through to improved performance seems unlikely to pay or just too darn hard, then restructure roles and move the person/help them move somewhere they can get more support. This may seem harsh, but leaving people to fester in feelings of incompetence without your support and encouragement to change doesn't do them any favours. And other team members will have to pick up the slack which makes them irritable: unfairness is a major cause of stress and burnout so you don't want your reliable performers to suffer. If the performance issues irritate you, that doesn't help your stress and burnout levels either.

It can be challenging to keep focus and momentum on performance issues, but doing so - perhaps doggedly - is a short term investment for a long term gain. In other words, it's worth it, even though it probably won't feel like it at the time.

It's a touch gig, so make sure that you are taking care of yourself, and getting the support you need:

Good luck!

Managing yourself, staying calm and dealing with a range of demands and issues can be a tough gig, and the support of an Executive Coach might be just what you need to re-engerise and thrive in your leadership role. Find out more here: