How to find your purpose?

Why does it matter to know your purpose?

Yes, why would you bother reading this article if you don't see any value in having nailed down your purpose in life?

If you are competitive, and care about leaving a legacy, but have not negotiated your purpose with yourself, this article is for you!?

If you are fine with whatever life brings around and you could not be bothered to achieve more than that, then this article will be waste of time for you.

Race example

The difference between having a clear purpose and just living life according to your values is like running a race. With purpose, you know in advance what kind of race it is, why are you there and what is your positive outcome from running it. Without purpose, you just show up and hope for the best. Without purpose, you might not have even bothered to check what kind of race it is: sprint, marathon, Iron man, who cares??

What are your strategy and behavior if you expect it to run a sprint, but attend a marathon (or Iron Man)? You start strong, exhaust yourself in the very beginning, and then get frustrated. Where is the finish line? How much is there left to run? And by the time most people have overtaken you, you might start asking: What's the point of running?

This might sound far-fetched, however this is what we actually do when living without purpose. In fact, this was exactly what I was doing until quite recently.?

And don't get me wrong. You might actually finish the race quite strong just out of being stubborn and committed to proving everyone wrong. But this type of experience would not be as enjoyable nor sustainable for most people. I value sustainability and enjoyment of the process (life), therefore I prefer to show up prepared.

If you know it's a long-distance race, you prepare yourself mentally, and set up strategies and support systems. You start preparing even before the race. And you ask different questions! How often do I need to drink? How do I need to prepare the day before? How do I deal with possible injuries?

With purpose, the thoughts and questions you ask yourself are more positive, more proactive and it is more likely to enjoy the race (life).

Laser example

The difference between living a great life and living a purposeful life is like having the same amount of energy being dissipated in a lightbulb or a laser beam: the more focus you have, the more power you have. Not that one is better than the other, however, each has its differences in application.

If you are like me, then after watching a great movie you feel inspired and wish to bring something into your own life, but have no clue how… and after a while, initial excitement disappears and you go back into your old habits and old life.

This is where the laser power comes in. If you are satisfied with lighting up the room - great, a lightbulb will do the trick. However, if you are curious to see what's on the other side of the wall, you will need to focus your light and burn through the wall. And even if you have that power of laser focus, you still need to hold it steady to make that burn pierce through!

That's where purpose comes in. It gives you that sense of focus and direction.

You can imagine how important is focus nowadays when there is an endless stream of distractions coming from all directions and keeping focus can become harder and harder.

Crossing of the room example

Having a purpose is like walking into a room full of friends having a party and wanting to go across through the door on the opposite end.?

Without a purpose, you enter the room. You keep bumping into people, chatting with them, and continue walking aimlessly. Yes, it is possible that you get to the other side, however which each conversation it is less likely that you still remember your intention to go across. So eventually you get distracted, forget, and aimlessly wander the room. And only once back home you remember you wanted to see behind that door, but got distracted and felt bad about yourself for failing (again).

With purpose, you enter the room. You still bump into people, still, talk to them and enjoy the part at the same time. However, after each conversation, you look around, re-center, and keep moving in direction of the door. And sooner or later you are at the door and going through it.?

So in short: the purpose is your antidote to distractions - keeping you more focused and more likely to get what you want!

Steps to find your purpose?

Have a strong enough reason to find it out!?

Do you really want to be controlled by fears, or do you want to be in control over your own life? When looking for purpose you might encounter fear, doubt, and indecision. You might feel resistance or a sense of feeling stuck every time you try to attempt to find your purpose. This is normal and our brain's way of protecting us from change and uncertainty.

To overcome these fears you can either weaken the resistance or strengthen the will to do it by a strong reason why having purpose is more important than facing any fears.

Having a purpose is dangerous to different limiting beliefs and might cause some significant changes in your life, therefore might feel scary. Just ask yourself: what is scarier: having a clear purpose or drifting in fear of facing fear?

Stop comparing to judge yourself.?

Lower the expectations to be able to commit to the journey and be able to accept the answers that come. From my experience, I was comparing the passion other people talk about their purpose with a passion I got when thinking about possible versions of my purpose. Obviously, it is like comparing a fresh sprout to a full-grown oak tree. Yes, it's the same plant, however, the stage of maturation is wildly different. It's ok that my purpose, in the beginning, does not feel like one that has been nurtured for a couple of decades. Once you actually have some ideas, questions to ask: does it sit right with me? How do I actually feel about it? Does it resonate with me??

Commit & Accept.

What are the things that are most important for me?

Ask yourself this question, write down your values, reflect on your favorite movies, pastime activities, hobbies, best friends, and anything you admire. Those things that make you feel the best have something you value and what is important to you! Acknowledge and write it down! You are not looking for qualities you have right now. You are simply looking for things that excite you!

Look for patterns and commonalities.

Try to make things as simple as possible. Extract keywords that resonate. Group. Make structure. Play around.?

Then look around and ask if you would like to be a person who embodies these qualities you see!?

Ask for support.

As much as you can have fun doing things alone, there is that magic to having affirmation that you know from the outside world. It can be a friend, a family, or a coach.

You can do research and do an online personality test to get additional insights into your values.

Make an urgency

Set a time limit and make an urgency to finish before time runs out. Unless there is a deadline or strong will to do it our mind will want to get stuck on getting that “perfect” answer. Accept the answer you have rights now, this answer is much better than no answer. Any answer you focus on regularly is far stronger than no purpose.

I remember when I lived in Japan, I made a commitment to go out to explore once a week. I had urgency! I would research and prepare plans for the weekend. And often I was trying too hard overthinking and could not find anything worthwhile. And sometimes ended up being stuck in research on Sunday morning without anything specific. But because of the urgency, I managed to do something and enjoy my day even though it was not “perfect” plan. Urgency helps to take that step even when not comfortable.

Make it bigger than you

A common mistake you can have when making the purpose? Make it all about yourself. When under stress, when stuck, and feeling low on energy, the hardest thing to do is to help yourself out. Under these conditions the purpose will not work for you, it will not be sustainable. On other hand, if the purpose is about helping others in any way, then even when feeling bad, it is much easier to get up and go help people in need! And when you help others, you help yourself.

Commit.

Once you know you have the answer. Accept it and commit to remembering and honoring it!

Then what?

Once you have your purpose, don't take it for granted. You must keep nurturing and feeding the purpose you have. Make sure you have reminders placed conveniently around you. And then live it, embody it more and more each day!

Keep reflecting: what does it actually mean?

Share it with the world!

I am curious! What is your purpose? What is the most important thing in your life?

My purpose? ??????/ be Namaste present /?

Smile & be present!

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