How to find your purpose in life

How to find your purpose in life?

You just need to take a look around you, while at work, in the shopping mall or while commuting on a busy Saturday morning. The fact is that people are frustrated, dissatisfied and unhappy, asking themselves: ‘What do I want to do with my life?’. Not everyone of course, but an overwhelming amount of people — in fact, far too many. Even though a sign of frustration might only be temporary for some, for most people, a constant state of dissatisfaction about life has turned normal. However, it is not actually dissatisfaction about life, but rather dissatisfaction about themselves — about their very own sense of accomplishment or missed opportunities, well knowing that they could live by more meaningful terms. We can observe this fact not only in the younger generation but also in the older one, as people contemplate on: ‘how to find meaning in life after 50′?’

The question that many people all around the world have is, how to find meaning in life or in other words, what is my purpose in life? For some it is quite frankly an elusive concept that they do not believe in, while others might say, finding your purpose in life is unattainable, even though they recognize that some select individuals somehow live out that dream. So, objectively it is attainable but simply not for them? Well, that does not make sense, does it? If it is attainable for one; by definition, it is also attainable for others!

The truth is that finding your purpose does not need to be convoluted, difficult or even elusive. In fact, it is a simple and straightforward approach, however, we first must understand the underlying meaning of what a purpose is in the first place.

A purpose has different levels of depth and depending on the answers we seek, we must ask ourselves a different set of questions. It is important to understand that neither level is better than the other, but equal in nature, in fact, all levels are required to keep the equilibrium of life. I like to cluster levels of purposes into 3 general groups, which are…

Level 1 (specific): On the first level the purpose (PL1) is very much driven by your mental state, by a need or desire towards accomplishment. It usually is lived short term and might change over time or unexpectedly. The question you can ask yourself is, what does accomplishing this purpose give you? If you sense that accomplishing this purpose or objective, will provide you with a lift in self-esteem, for example, you know that you are on that level.

Abstract example: A colourful flower serves as a birthday gift; it looks pretty for a while but it dries up quickly and might get thrown out soon thereafter.

Level 2 (general): On the second level, your purpose (PL2) is more intrinsically driven, meaning it is ascending from a realm of truth that however remains subjective to your own sense of reality. A life that is lived through these senses of truth and authenticity is worth living by, as it starts to transcend the mind (PL1) and opens the lens of life to more objective accomplishments that serve a bigger purpose than oneself alone. You may see yourself deeply caring for the planet and advocating its well-being.

Abstract example: A colourful flower serves in its natural habit, like a garden or in a park for example. It is alive and it provides its environment like bees with essential nutrients for them to survive. It is pleasing to the eye, smells incredible and last a long time.

Level 3 (abstract): On the deepest level (PL3), the purpose is simply to LIVE. There is no argument about why, in fact, it does not matter. What matters is that you live life fully, which has evolved into a natural way of being. Life is effortless, you clearly feel the forces of nature and know when it is time to move towards your goals (without the need to accomplish) and when it is time to sit and be still, so to speak. Life is part of you — in fact, it is you.

Abstract example: A colourful flower is just that — a colourful flower. It does not inherently have a value of good or bad, right or wrong. It allows the observer to impress their own set of values upon that flower that in turn enriches the world.

These 3 levels are not binary or exclusive to each other. We rather live through these levels either staggered or even simultaneously, depending on the stage in life that we find ourselves in. However, a common theme that I see emerge is that people who are driven by their intrinsic motivation state that ‘finding my purpose in life’ is important to me. And this is worth living by.

What is my purpose in life?

If you don’t yet know what your purpose is, you need to become clear about it, and not just clear but crystal clear. People who are not crystal clear about their purpose or at least their passion in life, usually live life aimless, precisely because there is not much in life that they are able to aim towards. It is like you sailing on the sea, without a compass or a map, not knowing where the next shore of land will be. That is dangerous and reckless in my eyes. So, finding the answer to the question, what is my purpose in life, is crucial. And you are the only one who can find out, which more often than not demands some form of guidance from someone who has discovered it him/herself.

It is impossible to describe in words how it feels like to live in alignment with your purpose, but the best way I can put it into words is through the following analogy.

Imagine you have been lost in nature. You ran out of food 2 days ago and you have barely slept over the past days. You are exhausted from the physical as well as mental strains, and you have not seen another person in days. You have been aimless, not knowing what direction to follow. Finally on day 3, completely exhausted, you walk up a small hill and as you approach the peak, you see in the distance, for the very first time in days, an almost unnoticeable dirt road. You sigh a big sound of relief, and you feel tears rolling down your cheeks out of gratitude because you know that this tiny dirt road will lead back into civilisation. You suddenly realise that your struggle has come to an end and that you soon will be able to rest and feed yourself. You survived!

This last 1km, towards this tiny little dirt road in the distance, is how it feels to live aligned with your purpose. You know exactly where you are going. Regardless of what will come your way, you know that you will make your way to this tiny little road. There is simply nothing that will stop you. You know that this tiny little dirt road is your next destination.

What do I want to do with my life?

So, having understood this metaphor, let’s start to narrow in. A simple question you can ask yourself is, what do I want to do with my life? It helps contextualise the broad question about purpose and therefore helps to narrow in the possible combinations. A good starting point is usually to contemplate on those moments in your life that make you smile, laugh out loud — those moments where you feel alive and most happy. They may not many moments come up initially, but stay with it, and you will be able to identify some moments of importance in your life.

Purpose Exercise: (start now!)

My recommendation is to contemplate on the question: ‘what do I want to do with my life’ during the early morning hours (between 5-7am) for 15min, for a period of 2 weeks. In the beginning, this question might not throw up anything, and that is normal. Stick with it! It is like going into the gym and soon you will be strong enough to open the magical box of pandora.