How To Find Your Power Spot

It's not easy being a grown-up. There are so many pieces that have to fall in line. It's almost a miracle when, once in a while, everything comes together and you don't have any major headaches to deal with.

For just a moment, your life is peaceful: your job is okay, your bills are paid and everybody in the household is healthy. That's when you think "This is how life is always supposed to be."

Why is it so hard to find that spot? Why are there so roadblocks and hassles hitting us all the time?

Most of us weren't taught as kids to grow our power. We don't even know we have power, but we do. We can grow our power supply and when we do, the headaches and problems that seem so trying and almost insurmountable now will shrink to a manageable size.

When we see people around us who are successful in the true sense of the word -- not favored by being born into a wealthy family but truly successful in that they're living a life they designed for themselves - it's because they have a very full fuel tank.

We call the fuel mojo. It's your life force, your confidence and your belief in yourself. In our society, we teach kids not to believe in themselves. A kid with a lot of mojo in school will get squashed. It happened to me.

Most of what we learn in school is how to bow to authority and repeat rote answers on a test. The kid who gets an "A" on the test is treated better by the grown-ups than the kid who doesn't. The meta-lesson is "Do what the grownups tell you to do. Whatever they value, you should value, too."

Lucky kids finish school without learning the lesson "Other people know more than you do." The rest of us have to learn that lesson on our own, by paying attention in the grown-up world of work and government and stress and worry.

We have to learn that nobody knows what's right for us except ourselves. We have to learn to find our voices and speak up when the situation calls for it. That's how we grow muscles. That's how we get stronger.

The reason day-to-day problems feel so overwhelming is that we run as fast as we do and exhaust ourselves for no purpose. Most of us don't know what we're shooting for, or even what we're living for. We don't have a purpose or a plan.

Creating a vision for your life is the most important thing you can do. When your vision for your life is clear, you'll know where you are headed and why.

You'll know why you are working so hard. You won't be working to hit someone else's goals, but to hit your own.

Designing your life and growing your mojo go hand in hand. They reinforce one another. The more your mojo grows, the easier it will be to let your mind envision a life that isn't restricted by the limits you've put on yourself.

The clearer your vision becomes, the fuller your fuel tank will be.

Here are the reactions we hear from our clients who hesitate to take the reins and design their own lives and careers:

• I'm lucky to have a stable job and I feel ungrateful for wanting more.
• My dad and my grandfather both held the same profession and I feel that if I abandon the profession, I'll be disrespecting them.
• Why do I deserve to have the life I want? It seems arrogant to shoot so high.

We were taught as kids not to ask for too much. We were taught to set little goals. People might think us full of ourselves if we set ambitious goals. They might not approve. So what? If you live your life to please other people, you are wasting the precious gift you've been given.

Find your power spot by paying attention to your body. There are things that make you feel good -- your favorite songs, or walking outside or doing the part of your job that stimulates you.

The more time you spend doing the things that make you feel good, the more your power will grow. 

We think that because we take a paycheck at work, the work itself doesn't have to be fun. I want you to squeeze every drop of fun you can get out of your job. Turn off the nagging voice in your head whenever you hear it, and focus on your breathing instead. Tell the voice "Pipe down. I'm listening to my body now."

Many people write to us to say "I read your columns, but they're unrealistic! I don't have enough influence to be able to do the things you suggest." You don't have influence yet, because you haven't grown your power supply.

You have power spots but you may not know where they are. Some of them are physical locations.

If there's a park or a beach or a hill near you that makes you feel good and calm, go there often. Go there every day if you can! That will help you more than ticking off another five or ten items on your to-do list and depleting your power supply.

When you give yourself permission to create a vision for your life, half the things on your to-do list will disappear. Don't waste your precious time and mojo frantically working to please the people around you instead of pleasing yourself.

Some power spots are mental and emotional places rather than physical ones. Go to those places whenever you feel stressed. Make your own well-being your highest priority. That isn't selfish. Our bodies are organisms, and they were designed to take care of themselves!

You don't have to devote your whole day to growing your mojo. It would be hard to pay the bills if you did. Give yourself ten minutes a day of mojo-building to start, then increase the time to a half-hour. See how your body reacts. See how you feel.

There are certain people who grow our flames and other people who squash them. Once you're tuned in to the Power Channel, you'll spend more time with the mojo-building people and less time with the mojo-squashing ones.

In a little while your power will have grown. You'll be strong enough to say "Why do I still have this job? This job sucks away more of my power than it deserves to."

You'll start a stealth job search, or talk to your boss about getting promoted. Maybe you'll start your own business on the side and grow it alongside your current job. You'll use the power you've grown for yourself, and that will make you even stronger!

We are not machines. We have to plug into our power source every day. The minute we get a little juice in our veins, we say "My goal is to do what I was put down here to do, and that's where I'm headed!"

Give yourself permission to dream big -- much bigger than a slightly-better job or a bigger house or a vacation place in the mountains. You have an astonishing purpose and only you can find it.

You will find it by spending more time in your power spot, whatever that spot may be. You'll find your power spot by listening to the wise guide who carries you around and tolerates your abuse without complaint. I'm talking about your body, of course. Your body is your guide -- not the donkey for your mind!

Here are five ways to start: 

• Get a journal and write in it every day or every few days. If you want to show it to your sweetheart or someone else who's close to you, do it. If you want to keep your journal private for now, do that. Write about  your life and what you'd like to accomplish and experience. Write about your concerns. Just write! Don't censor your writing. 
• Make a list of people who grow your mojo and people who deplete it. Right away, reach out to some of your mojo-boosting friends and set up dates to get together with them. Limit your time with the mojo-sucking people, even including family members who take too much out of you.
• Find a physical place where you can totally relax. It could be the couch in your living room or a park near your house. Wherever it is, go there and just sit or walk and allow yourself not to worry about anything.
• Think about the parts of your job that charge your batteries. Whatever those parts are -- speaking to groups or writing code or creating reports -- make them the centerpiece of your job. Get better at the things you love to do. That's how your flame will grow!
• When you feel ready, begin designing the life and career you want. Design it on paper in your journal, or draw a picture about it or speak about it into a voice recorder app you can download for your phone. Who cares if it's a lofty vision? Visions are supposed to be lofty! Don't let your fearful mind limit you. 

Finally, don't get down on yourself for things you haven't done or things you feel you did badly. You've done everything perfectly up until now and your future is even brighter.

You haven't made any mistakes. If you got fired, that's fine. It was supposed to happen. If you went to prison, that was a step on your path.

You have nothing to apologize for. You are perfect now and don't need to change anything about yourself. You only need to listen to your body, and attend to its signals. Find your power spot and you'll be well on your way!

Our company is called Human Workplace. Our mission is to reinvent work for people. 

Are you thinking about taking a step in your career?

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