HOW TO FIND YOUR IKIGAI

Once upon a time, a powerful executive went on vacation – his first in fifteen years. As he was exploring a pier in a small coastal fishing village, a tuna fisherman docked his boat. As the Fisherman lashed his boat to the pier, the Executive complimented him on the size and quality of the fish.

“How long did it take you to catch these fish?” the Executive asked.

“Only a little while,” the Fisherman replied.

“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more?” the Executive asked.

“I have enough to support my family’s need,” said the Fisherman.

“But,” asked the Executive, “what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Fisherman replied, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, and stroll into the village each evening, where I sip wine and play guitar with my friends. I have a full and busy life.”

The Executive was flabbergasted. “I’m a Harvard MBA, and I can help you. You should spend more time fishing. With the proceeds, you could buy a bigger boat. A bigger boat would help you catch more fish, which you could sell to buy several boats. Eventually, you’d own an entire fleet.

“Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you could sell directly to the consumers, which would improve your margins. Eventually, you could open your own factory, so you’d control the product, the processing, and the distribution. Of course, you’d have to leave this village and move to the city so you could run your expanding enterprise.”

The Fisherman was quite for a moment, then asked, “How long would this take?”

“Fifteen, twenty years. Twenty-five tops.”

“Then what?”

The Executive laughed. “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you’d take your company public and sell all of your stock. You’d make millions!”

“Millions? What would I do then?”

The Executive paused for a moment. “You could retire, sleep late, fish a little, play with your children, take a siesta with your wife, and stroll into the village each evening to sip wine and play guitar with your friends.”

Shaking his head, the Executive bade the Fisherman farewell. Immediately after returning from vacation, the Executive resigned from his position.

CHANGING HOW YOU DEFINE SUCCESS

I’m not sure where the above parable originated, but the message is powerful; that business is not necessarily about maximizing profits. Yes, profits are important, but they’re means to an end: creating value, paying expenses, compensating the people who run the business, and supporting yourself and your loved ones. Dollar aren’t an end in themselves; money is a tool, and the usefulness of that tool depends on what you intend to do with it.

Your business does not have to bring in millions or billions of dollars to be successful. If you have enough profit to do the things you need to do to keep the business running and make it worth your time, you’re successful, no matter how much revenue your business brings in.

This goes the same with definition of success.

I remember my friend’s story whose father once declined an offer of advancement to become a VP in a multinational bank so that he could be there for dinner with his family every day at 7 PM. The new role promised more money, but also substantially more responsibilities. My friend said that he could vividly remember how his father always be there for his soccer match. Their life may looks boring, no fancy overseas travel, etc. but it was a heaven to him and his brother.

FINDING THE RIGHT FIT

A few years back, I was also offered a promotion. The new role promised more money, but also substantially more responsibilities. I was perfectly happy at my current level, so I declined. I knew full well that the new role would not be a good fit for me. Every step up the ladder comes with a new set of new headaches, and I just don’t have the capacity deal with those at that time.

As a father of two adorable kids, making the most money, or having the fanciest title, is no longer my goal. I am happy to be where I am now in my career.

This is a contrarian stance to take. When I told my parents about my decision, they both immediately asked, “Why would you not accept a promotion?!” The dominant message in our culture is that we should be pushing ourselves to greater and greater heights in the workplace, regardless of the consequences.

I realize that it can be difficult to combat such messages. I think the key to your workplace happiness lies in figuring out how you define success, a process that will be unique to each individual. Success is different for each and everyone, depending on your core values.

Basically, you have to do an honest assessment of what matters to you. Not everyone wants to be a manager or a high-level executive and take on that responsibility. It’s important to think about your individual goals and what’s going to be fulfilling to you as everyone has different aspirations in life.

SUMMING IT UP

Like a lot of good advice, it sounds so simple but it’s hard to execute. When you’re swimming in a sea of people who all have the same aspirations, it can be hard to step back and figure out what you really want. But if you make the time to do so, the results might surprise you.

There are people who should be pushing their careers forward at full speed, and please, don’t let me stop you. If you love what you do and you like the responsibilities that come with increasingly high-level roles, then go for it! Many people have very good reasons to tip the work-life balance further toward work.

The key is in making sure you truly are that type of person. It is important for you to listen, be honest, and honor what balance looks like to you as an individual, and then find a company or workplace that gives you that.

In the real estate world, the famous mantra is, “Location, location, location.” Most buyers are willing to sacrifice quite a bit so they can live in an area they absolutely love. It seems the job-hunting mantra should be all about, “Fit, fit, fit.” Even if you don’t make the most money or have the most exciting role, if your job perfectly suits your particular skill set and personality, well, that’s pretty darn important.

I recently learned a new word that I love: satisfice. It means “to accept an available option as satisfactory,” and people who strive to be satisficers tend to be happier with their decisions. As someone who used to be a perfectionist, I now see the beauty in being a satisficer, whether it’s in where I live or where I work.

My best fit is at my current company in my current role. I’d truly be happy to spend the rest of my career in my position, regardless of what my parents, friends, or the “Hustlers,” “Ninjas,” and “Growth Hackers” on LinkedIn think.