How to find out what feedback really means. Or, how to listen to what's not actually said.
Kelly Herrick
Creative Strategy Director at Katapult | We Design Themed Attractions, Experiences, and Destinations #SWSWPresenter
I have the great privilege of working in a brilliant business. The people here at Katapult HQ are open and honest and we give feedback to one another. I like that. Feedback is good, it's the mirror of me that other people look into.
Learning more about myself has included all sorts of stuff, from retreats, to online groups, reading, therapy (and no, there's no stigma to sharing that in public) and loads more. But what has universally worked, taken me deeper and activated change has been listening and connection. And that's feedback right?
At our recent annual planning day we did the EOS 'One Thing' exercise where we told one another our best attributes and the things we need to work on, to hone down to The One Thing we would continue to work on throughout the year.
My peers told me this:
"Embrace technology more"
Wow. It brought up all sorts of negative stories, from 'I'm not young and hip like them', to 'I'm scared I can't do it'. Thankfully, I saw these trigger thoughts for what they were - my internal Crazy Lady monologue (thanks to the Somebody Inside team for that one!).
Once I'd stopped her yammering away, I really thought about it. What was it they really meant? What did I need to do with this feedback? I analysed my relationship with tech and the fact is I love it - I'm on social, my life is in my phone and I get a real kick from the VR, AR and creative tech ideas we give to our clients. So what was the real problem here?
The tech the team were talking about was mostly the tech we use to run our business, from Synergist to Trello, from Basecamp to Google drive. Was it the tech I wasn't embracing? Hell No! It was the rules! What I realised was I like the tech but disliked the processes. And because we are so nice here no-one really enforced it, so, being a rebel (The Four Tendencies) and a conceptual, big picture person (DISC, SY Partners, Kolbe) I chose not to do it.
I also had some feedback in my Kolbe profile that was along the lines of 'don't take mechanical things apart to fix them'. I now realise this feedback wasn't really about the tech either. It was about me not being a natural at methodical processes.
What a revelation! All I had to do was listen to the words that weren't said. I took constructive feedback from people who really care about me and bravely explored it. In doing that I uncovered a gem about myself, freed myself from negative stories and took action to make my work practices better for me, my colleagues and our business.
What have people not said to you lately?
Kelly is Strategy & Development Director at Katapult - A Creative England Top 50 company, that create physical and digital guest experiences that amaze and engage your visitors.
Co-Founder at Remarkable Women
6 年Thank you for sharing Kelly. Super interesting and I love hearing about others discoveries;? What this brings up for me is the power of our Listenings. The unconscious, non useful, beliefs, ideas and judgements that we carry around with us. These LISTENINGS shape our world. Why? Because they allow us to edit, delete, distort or heighten what we take away from any conversation or experience. We know this to be true; you ask 2 people what they heard and they'll give different versions. And what happens next? We create an experience based on what you are listening FOR. So for there's a huge value to be gained in tuning into what these are. And cleaning them up. Want an easy place to start? Look for what you say after "I am....." and then see how that is influencing what you can even hear. Its a revelation :-))
Director at Silver Edge Management
6 年Hi Kelly, great article! Yes, we British are especially good at skirting close to an issue without really addressing it, and worse, even sometimes thinking that we have addressed it. Simple language used sensitively and candidly is always best. There is a skill to giving the feedback of course. This is even more important when discussing topics with international colleagues where English is not their native tongue. Nuances will often get lost. I don’t think nuance has a place in good feedback.
? Resolving stress & unlocking potential in work & life! ? Coaching & education to identify & resolve underlying the mental imagery that triggers your stress responses using Logosynthesis?.
6 年What a great story to embrace feedback.? It sounds like you would find the work of Logosynthesis interesting - it quickly and effectively resolves the triggers on the emotional, rather than cognitive, level. It certainly fascinates me!?https://thehealthylivingplan.com/??Heather Day?is a Practitioner based in the UK.?
Principal Consultant leading successful business transformation projects. ADHDer. Neurodiversity advocate.
6 年This is great. There a few people in my world who don't say exactly what they mean, but unpacking it can reap huge rewards.
| Wise Rebel | Loving Catalyst | Executive Coach | Keynote Speaker | Leadership Development | Author | Eats books for breakfast. And dinner | Always up for karaoke | #trfol
6 年I LOVE THIS Kelly! Isn’t it incredible what we can uncover if we’re willing to dive in a little deeper and not take things personally? So much for us all to learn from this one... thanks for sharing.