How Not to Find a New Job

Imagine a guy messaging a girl which he just saw on social media, like this: "I want to f*ck with you, but I also want to do it in your home, your bed, you need to find out what I like best without me telling you, you need to bring five of your prettiest friends along, and when we are done I want your mother to pay me five thousand dollars per month for three years."

Outrageous? Inconceivable? Absolutely certain to fail? Tick, tick, tick. But wait, inconceivable? Let's look at a slightly different context, say ... job search. I have seen the equivalent of the above in practice, not just once but frighteningly often. That's why I want to talk about it, to give some (unprofessional and purely entertaining) career tips for people who do not seem to know better and then wonder why all their well-intended "efforts" do not work out. (And I will obviously not disclose the names of the culprits to protect their privacy. That's called internet etiquette, my friends.)

Here is the equivalent example from the job search world: "Please read my profile and let me know of suitable job opportunities." Before you say this is not at all comparable with my outrageous previous scenario, keep reading:

• The person asking does not know me, other than from a (very) short-term connection on social media. And I do not know them, so we are talking about interaction between strangers here.
• The person wants something from me which I would not normally give voluntarily (aka f*ck with me).
• The person expects me to put in the work of reading and interpreting their profile.
• Then stick my head out by connecting (or maybe even recommending) them to jobs on projects where my reputation allows me to get in the door.
• Mind you, if they prove unsuitable is was MY recommendation and therefore MY reputation which suffers in the process. (That's why I never recommend anyone who I have not worked with myself, in case you may ask.)
• And the goal of course is getting a job (and in the process a visa in a country with arguably much higher liveability) which pays that person for years.

Do you still think those two examples are so very different? I thought not.

What's the Advice Here?

The most obvious piece of advice I could offer here is this: DO - NOT - DO - THIS - EVER. I have had enquiries where I actually helped the person for their search, but:

• They built a relationship first (not just one "How are you, sir?").
• They asked nicely and with consideration (not just "Give me job opportunities.").
• They did not expect me to work for them (e.g. reading through their profile)
• They offered something in exchange (and no, I'm not talking money here).
• They were grateful for anything I offered them (even if it's as simple as a link to a job search site, for some people that's a genuine eye-opener).

Why am I writing this article, I did wonder myself. For once, I occasionally like to help people with small tips in the field of job search and personal branding. (Disclaimer need again: I'm not a professional in this field and everybody should decide for themselves what to do with this, and be self-responsible for any outcome.) Also, if this article helps me to get a few less stupid, exploitative requests on LinkedIn I could spend even more bandwidth on caring for the people who interact with me sensibly and with common sense. And that would be a really big win for me.