How To Find a Leader Within You

Do you love your spouse? Yes? Right, prove it.

What's the number that helps me know the intensity of your love?

Tell me the day this love happened??It's an impossible question but, it's not mean it doesn't exist. It's much easier to prove over time.

If you go to the gym, work out for 30 minutes, come back, and look in the mirror, you will see nothing. And if you go to the gym the next day, come back, and look in the mirror, you will see nothing.

There are no results, can't be measured, is not it effective? So we quit? If you fundamentally believe that this is the right course of action and you stick with it.

So, all leadership is the same thing.

It is about transitions. Like in a relationship, I bought her flowers, and I wished her a happy birthday, and she doesn't. Let me clarify; I will give up. You know that's not what happens.

If you believe there's something, you commit yourself to act an act of service.

You commit yourself to the procedure, the exercise. You can't screw it up.

You can eat chocolate cake one day, can skip a day or two.

You lose for that but, if you stick with it consistently, I'm not exactly sure what day but, I know you'll start getting into shape.

I know it, and the same with the relationship. It's not about the events.

It is not about intensity. It's about consistency. It's the consistency going to the gym for nine hours does not get you into shape. Working out every day for 20 minutes gets you into shape.

So the problem is, we treat leadership with intensity. We have a two-day off-site we would invite a bunch of speakers, we give everybody certificate, you're a leader.?

Those things are good for reminding us or getting us back on track.

Your spouse didn't fall in love with you because you remembered her birthday and bought her flowers on Valentine's Day.

She fell in love with you; because when you woke up in the morning, you said good morning to her before you checked your phone.

She fell in love with you; because when you went to the fridge to get yourself a drink, you got her one without even asking.

She fell in love with you; because when you had an amazing day at work, and she had a terrible day, you didn't say, let me tell you about my day. You sat and listened to her awful day, and you didn't say a thing about your day.

This is why she fell in love with you. There was the accumulation of all of those little things. It is not like that she woke up one day, and it's as if she pressed a button she goes I love him.

Leadership is the same. There is no event. There is nothing one can tell you. You have to do that, and your people will trust you. It's an accumulation of lots and lots of little things that anyone by themselves is harmless and useless, literally pointless by themselves.

People will look at little things that are good leadership practice and say that won't work. But if you do it consistently, and you do it in combination with lots of other little things like saying good morning to someone looking in the eye. ?

One of my friends, John was a high-rank official in the military. He says, his test for leadership is if you ask somebody how their day is going??You actually care about the answer.?The number of times we were walking to a meeting, we are rushing, we go how are you? Not good? I will talk to you later as I am getting late for the meeting.

If you ask the question, you have to stand there; and should listen to the answer. It's those little things that you do over and over again then people will say, I love my job, not I like my job.

I like my job means, the challenge is great, they pay me well, and I like the people.

?I love my job means I don't want to work anywhere else. I don't care how much somebody else will is willing to pay me.?I'm devoted to the people here, and I care desperately about the people here.

In the business, we have colleagues and co-workers.

In the military, they have brothers and sisters. That's how they think of each other.

If you have a strong corporate culture, the people will think of each other as brothers and sisters. It's like a family, no brothers and sisters deep love. Fight, but the love doesn't go away. Disagreement, but the love doesn't go away. I can fight with my sister but if you threaten her,?you have to deal with me first.?We'll fight internally. We'll disagree with each other but, nobody can hurt each other.

Hundred Million Question

The question is, how do you create brothers and sisters out of strangers?

Common beliefs. Common values.?

In other words, executives. Who cares about their children's success. Who cares to raise their children, teach them skills, discipline them when necessary, help them build their self-confidence so that they couldn't go on and achieve something more than you could have ever imagined. That's leadership. ?

Absolute love and devotion for the people who have committed their lives to this enterprise.

How does your body feel after a good workout? How does your body feel after a big greasy meal? You know that one is good for you and the other is not.

Know despite what it may taste like, and that's the problem with short-term gains. They feel good in the short term. We are highly adapted social animals. We can feel when things are going well. You can sense it. We can assess, somebody's trustworthy or not. Yeah, the results are great but, I wouldn't trust them.

As opposed to letting on you but like I trusted for it anything I trust with my kids, money, anything. We are highly attuned animals, and so we're good at sensing it.

Robin Dunbar, a professor from Cambridge University, theorized that we could not maintain more than about 150 close relationships.

The way he defined the close relationship is if you are at a bar with a bunch of friends and somebody comes in, would you ask that person to join you or not? ?

If you think about the reason, that makes perfect sense.?There are two limiting factors.

One is time. If you only gave two minutes to each person you know, you'd make no close friends.

The other one is memory. You can't remember everybody. It is where leadership becomes very interesting. Because, if you have a company that has a lot of people. You can't know everyone.

As a CEO look, I care about every single of my people. You don't even know some of the people. It's a guff statement.

What you can say is I desperately care about the people whose names I know and whose faces I recognize. And I care desperately about my leadership, and I instill in them every day that I will give them the tools, and I will take care of them with one purpose only that they will take care of the people in their charge. ?

Then by the time you get down to the masses where the actual thousand exists.?Because of the seniors, it's like 20 where the real thousand exist.

They feel about a hundred and a hundred and fifty of them can look to one of their direct leaders to one of their direct managers and say that person cares about me that's our boss that's my boss, that's my leader, not the leader, it's the CEO,?that's my manager my boss my leader.?

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