How to Find a Career Mentor

I have lots of mentors in my life. Career mentors, spiritual mentors, business mentors. These people speak into my life and help me when I’m struggling or need a wee bit of encouragement. I’m a huge fan of cross-generational relationships and being friends with people who are older and wiser...because hey, they’ve walked the hard road before so they may have some solid wisdom to impart. 

My best friend has joked, “You are the queen of getting in a room and automatically gravitating towards the oldest woman there. You get along with older women so well.”

She’s not wrong. I’m an old soul, what can I say!?

Are you craving mentorship?

 If you are, you’re like a LOT of my clients and followers. I get the question all the time,

“Okay Jena, I know I need a career mentor, but how do I actually find one?!”

While there are many ways to find a mentor, the biggest advice I have on this subject can be boiled down in one idea: You have to be the pursuer. 

It is very rare that people will offer to mentor you in a formal-type setting. Unless your company creates those opportunities, you are pretty much on your own. And that’s a good thing! It allows you to scope out the scene and see who you click with. I actually recommend finding someone to mentor within your company and outside your company. The person inside your company can advocate for you for promotions, etc. and the person outside the company is a great sounding board to talk through internal politics about without the fear of getting fired. 

“TWO!?!?” you’re probably thinking, “Jena, I can barely find one mentor!”

Well, here are some ways to find and “land” the mentor of your dreams.

“FORCE” SOMEONE TO BE YOUR FRIEND

I always make the joke that I force people to be friends with me. I’m like a lion. I spot my prey and attack! “You! You will be my friend!”

Okay, I’m not that aggressive, but I do have a very pursuer-type mentality when it comes to meeting mentors (and friends). Throughout my life, I’ve put in the effort to build, establish, and grow relationships with mentors in my life. Whether in my spiritual life or my career, I have prioritized having those influences. I know I can’t go it alone.

Perfect example: When I moved to Nashville, I was going to a bible study where I really started to admire the leader, Kristi McLelland. After class, I emailed her on a whim. I said I was new from NYC and would love to grab coffee if she had 30 minutes one day the following week. She took me up on the offer and ended up becoming a dear friend, someone I respect immensely as a woman of God, she’s been on my podcast, and ended up introducing me to my spiritual mentor, Debbie. But I can guarantee that wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t reach out first. 

Put yourself out there. At the end of the day, it’s just putting the human back into human resources.

LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU’RE INTERESTED

If you don’t know anyone in your immediate circle you’d like to be mentored by...ask around! My manager at the NYSE introduced me to his wife. I told her I was interested in having a female career mentor and she introduced me to her Head of Sales. We became fast friends and still keep in touch today! She’s an amazing woman and we’ve both been able to support each other in our careers even though she’s a few steps ahead of me. 

Here’s the other thing. If you aren’t telling anyone you’re interested in being mentored, how will a mentor be able to stand up and raise their hand for the job? They won’t! Plus an ask is just an ask. The worst thing that can happen is someone may say “Sorry, I don’t have time.”

So, let the people in your life know that you’re ready to take your career seriously….and that you need help along the way.

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