How feeling nervous can help you to speak better

“There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.” – Mark Twain

While I’m sure that there are people for whom this quote doesn’t hold true, the vast majority of us are likely to experience some degree of nerves in certain speaking or performance situations. In the lead up to a speaking situation, many thoughts can go through our head, a natural one wishing that we didn’t feel this way. Other possible thoughts could be how to plan an escape route or how to feign a sudden illness…not that these are any of mine...honest! The interesting thing is that we don’t need to avoid nerves, on the contrary we need to experience them. In this article I’ll explain more about this and share with you how in 3 steps you can use those nerves to your advantage. I’ll also back this up with two recent examples from my own life, to prove that it can be easy to apply in everyday situations.

Defining the problem

So, what are we talking about here? Commonly used terms for this phenomenon are performance anxiety or stage fright. It essentially describes our anxious responses to any situation in which we need to ‘perform’, or put ourselves out there. This could range from taking centre stage in an auditorium, to pitching to a new client, to giving a wedding speech.

Fight or flight response

Essentially stage fright is a protective mechanism for our bodies to help us to cope when we experience a threat. Features of this include increased heart rate, sweaty palms, and dilated pupils. It is a primitive response within the body, which can result in similar physical reactions whether we are fleeing a lion, dealing with traffic chaos, or about to give a speech. As part of this physcal reaction, we release adrenaline. This energises the body to fight or to flee the situation. This worked really well in primitive times when we needed to fight or flee that lion, but it doesn’t work so well when sitting in traffic gridlock or anticipating a speaking situation. For a great audio visual explanation of the fight or flight response, watch this YouTube clip by Learning Junction.

Now before you take this literally, and decide to sprint out of the boardroom, auditorium, or theatre, in order to balance your adrenaline, there is another way, one in which you can use these physical reactions to your advantage, whilst remaining socially acceptable at the same time. I’ve broken this strategy down into three steps, observing, accepting, and energising.

1) Observing: Become more body aware

“I’m afraid,” ” I’m anxious,” “I’m scared.” These are all verbal descriptions of how we feel, but we feel these emotions within the body. The starting point for coping with anxiety is becoming aware of the physical sensations that we are experiencing. These will be unique to each individual, and can range from tight shoulders, palpitations, butterflies in the stomach, nausea, set jaw, dry mouth…the list is long. The natural reaction to these feelings is to run away from them, ignore them, or suppress them. Unfortunately, this usually doesn’t work.

An alternative which can have more positive outcomes, is to notice each of these feelings. One way to do this is to scan down through the body, starting at the top either from top to bottom or bottom to top, depending which you prefer. As you scan through your body, notice any uncomfortable physical sensations that you experience. This may be tightness, discomfort, or pain. Get as specific as possible, as the more intimately you are connected to what’s going on in your body, the more successful you can be at managing it.

2) Accepting: Accepting your feelings

So, now that you have noticed how you are feeling, the next step is to stay with those feelings. Observe them, as if you were a child examining a flower intently...you’re being open, curious, and non-judgemental. 

You then have a choice, to either i) breathe into those areas or, ii) to up the game, and actively increase the anxious sensations. So starting with the first option. Breathe into those parts of your body where you’re experiencing uncomfortable feelings. While you may not be physically able to breathe into that space, it’s about imagining that you can, or alternatively picturing a colour or lightness going into that space. As we become more in tune with what’s going on in our body, we can feel less overwhelmed by our feelings, and feel more in control. You can then start to visualise those feelings becoming less intense or reducing in size.

A possibly more challenging approach is option two, which is to amplify those feelings. I came across this specific technique from a fascinating book entitled, ‘A Soprano on her Head,’ by Eloise Ristad. While it may sound like madness, to actively try to make yourself feel worse, it can be surprisingly effective. Notice those butterflies in your stomach? How much stronger can you make those butterflies? Keep focusing on making those feelings stronger. What is amazing is that you get to a point where the feelings can’t get any stronger…so that’s the worst, and that now doesn’t seem so scary.

3) Energising: Using adrenaline to your advantage

Now that we have observed what’s going on in our body, accepted those feelings, and possibly played around with what’s happening, a final aspect is to use the energy from adrenaline to our advantage when we speak. So, how can we use that adrenaline when speaking?

1. It can serve to energise us: when we are more body aware, the increased energy we have can energise how we speak.
2. It enable us to be focused: by being more body aware, we are in the present moment, and the adrenaline can help us to be more focused in our thinking.
3. It enable us to be more in tune with others. I find that as a therapist, if I am feeling anxious, it helps me to reflect on how anxious my client may feel, either in that moment, or in other situations. This helps me to be less self-focused, and have more empathy.

And so, from this foundation, you are freed up to speak in a manner which is energised, focused and responsive to your audience.

Honest, it works!

Recently I needed to use these strategies myself in the run up to two situations in which I had a stand-off with stage fright. The first was a performance on the flute and the second was a 3 minute soap box sales pitch at a networking event.

So, to my first event. My background is that I’m an amateur flautist with many years’ experience. I enjoy performing, and happily share my music at social events. Amongst other things, I play in West Cork’s Allegria Concert Orchestra. I had been quite excited at being given the opportunity to be the soloist in a performance of Mozart’s Andante in C for flute and orchestra. This was taking place in Abbeystrewry Church on 1st November. Now, whilst I was generally confident in playing solo excerpts here and there within the orchestra, this was different…and required me to have more of a Diva persona…not something I’m naturally drawn to (unlike my four year old daughter!).

It was not until the morning of the concert that it actually hit me…Oh, I’m going to stand up in front of lots of people and perform a piece from memory and …ahhhh…OK now I felt myself running from that lion. I was overcome with a plethora of symptoms from nausea to palpitations to dry mouth. I just about managed to pull myself together and tune into the feelings of panic…where was I feeling them in my body…lots of places…but instead of running from them…which I was still considering as a very reasonable option, I sat with those feelings and observed them…I even tried to make them worse. So, I tried to make tightness in my chest more, the butterflies in my stomach more…and the amazing this was, that after a certain point it stopped. Fast forward to later in the day, when I was playing the piece before my solo…similar, no stronger feelings…with additional symptoms thrown in…cue now sweaty hands. Given that I had little other options, I did the same thing, and an amazing thing happened, as I prepared to stand up, the panic feelings became transformed into a focused and successful performance.

Fast forward two weeks later, as I wait to give a 3 minute sales pitch on my business at a combined Network Cork and IT Cork event. As I sit there I feel the pressures of conveying my message clearly and effectively, whilst delivering it with a voice which is engaging and authentic...no pressure!

So, quite similar feelings again…suddenly playing ‘Flight of the bumblebee’ by Rimsky-Korsakov’ felt like quite an easy option. But again, I stayed with the physical sensations, tried to make them as strong as possible, saying to myself “Is that all you’ve got?!” …and it worked, the intensity abated, and the energy transformed to delivering an effective presentation.

So, it does work...but now I'd like to hear from you. What do you find helpful...and unhelpful when you experience performance anxiety? 

Linda Coyle provides Voice Capitalisation Training to enable you to speak with impact.