How to Feel like Yourself in your Second Language

Do you remember when you first started learning English? Perhaps it was at school, and maybe you enjoyed it, but also, perhaps you did not like the lessons, or perhaps even your teacher! However you started your English language journey, you are probably in a very different place now. You no longer have to think about the word order, or which tense you are using, in fact you can probably communicate quite well, even if not always totally fluently and with some 'interesting' word choices on occasion.

I know how you feel: I speak German and Italian to quite a good standard, however, now I am living fulltime in the UK, there are times when I do not speak either language regularly. This can mean that next time I want, or need, to use the language, like on my recent trip to Germany, the words do not come quite so easily and I feel slow and clunky.

That being said, I also know that the language comes back to me quite quickly after a couple of days, once I settle into it and then I start feeling more comfortable and more like myself again.

That is what I would like to share with you today, some tips on how to feel like yourself in your second language.

Tip #1: Immerse Yourself in the Language

The first suggestion can be challenging depending on where you are based, however, with the wonders of technology, you are never far away from a group of people who have similar interests. So, if you do not have a language bestie, find a group, whether in person, or online, with whom to meet up regularly and speak your language of choice. When you have regular practice, you are less likely to become out of practice and you will find that you always have the right word to hand, rather than on the tip of your tongue!

Another advantage of speaking the language regularly with friends is that you soon start to get past the obvious, superficial conversations, you can have real deep and meaningful connections with people, by developing friendships and sharing your ideas and passions on various topics.

Being immersed in a situation where I have to speak the language, always motivates me more than situations where I can switch and change. When I lived in Austria, I joined a canoe club, where I had to focus on my listening skills, to keep up! Then, when I was living in Italy, I joined a German speaking Stammtisch, in order to keep up my German speaking skills, which was a great experience, both because of the people I met and the language skills I was able to keep up.

Tip #2: Develop a Growth Mindset

This second suggestion, is more about your state of mind and is something that you can influence daily. When we speak in another language, we are often so focussed on what we say and our mistakes, we miss the flow of conversation, which leads to stilted communication and can cause a lack of connection. This clearly is not the way to feel like yourself. Instead, the idea is to focus on the outcome you want – perhaps to share a joke, or to persuade someone of an idea you have. Concentrating on the outcome, rather than on the language you are using to get there can help your brain find ways of communicating that you did not know were possible! Perhaps even finding vocabulary you have never used before! Even if you do not find exactly the right word, the idea behind having a growth mindset, is that you can always learn from your mistakes and you have the capability to improve your skills and abilities.

I love this idea and want to share it with everyone. As a recovering perfectionist and a lifelong learner, I am now working towards continuous improvement, which, I think everyone would agree, is a great life's work. In fact, I encourage you to do the same: believe that you can improve and you will.

Tip #3: Be Yourself

The final suggestion for today, may be a little obvious, but rather than trying to emulate others in their spoken style, use language you feel comfortable with, speak about topics you are interested in and simply, just be yourself.

Often, when we are in situations where we do not feel 100% comfortable, we revert to mimicking those around us, or putting on a mask to get through the tricky circumstances. This is something we do subconsciously, almost like a survival tactic. I would like to challenge you to become aware of these moments – we no longer need to be the same as everyone else to survive. In fact, being your unique self may allow you to make some of the best connections and possible friendships you have ever known. Being your authentic self allows others to feel comfortable to do the same. When your passion shines through, you give others permission to shine too.

That being said, use your language skills to share your thoughts and ideas in an honest, clear way and you will soon feel confident about being yourself whichever language you are speaking.

This is something that has come to me with experience rather than any specific situations, but during a recent Toastmasters meeting, we were talking about situations where we put on masks, to get through difficult days, or when we are talking to clients at work. But although I sometimes find myself in situations where I may not be totally comfortable, I can honestly say, I no longer put myself in situations that I do not want to be in, that are not for me. For example, clubbing until the early hours on a sticky floor among sweaty drunk people is not my idea of fun, but working up a sweat walking along a coastal path, to get some amazing views, is definitely more my cup of tea. As long as you are honest with yourself about who you are and what you enjoy in life, you can be yourself amongst others too, this translates into language as well.

Immersing yourself in your second language, as well as adopting a growth mindset can help you feel more at ease, in whatever situation you find yourself in. While nerves may come into play in certain circumstances, remember that just being yourself, is always the best approach.

If you'd like help finding yourself in English, send me a DM, or have a look at my website to see what might suit you: www.excellenceinenglisheducation.com