How fast should you go?

We live in an age where one’s progress and worth are subconsciously validated by other’s progress and worth, often narrated on social media in snapshots of perfected moments in time by a complete stranger. It can be hard to know how fast you should go, or how slow, and ultimately what goal you are pursuing.

Let me take you back to nearly two decades ago when Orkut was the only metric of comparison, fortunately.?

Very early on in my career, as I tried to grapple with a situation where I was successful in the moment, yet eager, curious and ambitious as I looked at the endless possibilities ahead, I turned to, of course, my mum.

“Life is just like the lemon and spoon game,” she said.

I don’t know whether you played this growing up so let me explain the rules of this fun game that was often played at birthday parties or Sports Day events as I was growing up in India. There are as many players as you wish - let’s pick four players today. Players line up in a row at the start line and their aim is to get to the finish line fastest, this is often the length of your living room or 100, 200 or 300 meters ahead when outdoors, you decide. You see, this is a pretty flexible game. Each player is given a spoon and lemon, and holds one end of the spoon in their mouth with the lemon sitting snugly in the cup end of the spoon away from them. Now here’s the catch, speed is important but the lemon needs to stay intact in the spoon when one gets to the finish line.

When the designated referee, often an older cousin if at a birthday party, enthusiastically shouts “Start!” the players start walking hastily towards the finish line.?

Pretty early on, they realise that the lemon starts to get heavy, the weight of the spoon in the mouth gets uncomfortable and suddenly all one is yearning for is to stretch their mouth wide open. But they have chosen to play and are en route to their destination. This is serious. One player realizes, the faster they walk, the more difficult it gets to balance the lemon. Another player strolls along slowly yet confidently, only to realise others are way ahead of them. A third player has found that they are progressing very well, however now so focused on the lemon in the spoon they have completely strayed away from their track, losing sight of the finish line. The fourth player has however managed to do all of it. Walked at a pace that kept the lemon intact, stayed on course, and reached their end of the finish line.

Now, back to my mum’s comparison of life to this game. “What does that mean?” I said, naively exposing my inexperience in life.?

“The lemon is everything that is important to you - your health, your career, your friends, your family, your hobbies, your finance and everything else that is important to you. The faster you go, there's a chance that the lemon will fall. If you go too slow, the end will seem too far. So, you can choose how fast or slow you want to go, but remember not to drop the lemon from the spoon.”

Today, that lemon includes managing a home, a child, keeping familial and friendship bonds intact as I live in another country and trying to pursue long lost hobbies. That lemon has not fallen off, but what it holds to be true has changed with time. I sometimes go fast, only to realise that lemon is getting so shaky, and on days when I am going slow, I realise the weight of that lemon is so heavy and the end seems so far. I keep balance by finding my own pace, dictated by my values, my purpose, the goals I set for myself and considering everything that needs to be held together.?What I've discovered is that the race is won by balance and not solely speed.

Unlike in the game, in life, I have come to realize that the lemon does in fact drop. Mostly, it is easy to stop, pick it up and put it back in the spoon and keep walking although the lemon is left with a little dent or scar from having fallen. Unlike the game, life is forgiving. It does give you second chances, and third, and fourth and more.

So, what does the lemon signify to you? Are going too fast? Are you going slow enough, but living in fear of others getting ahead? Or have you completely gone off course?