How Far Can We Engineer Love? Can It Be Ethical?

Love is both a complex emotion and a biological response, influenced by countless factors—from whether we're available (single, polyamorous, or even in a lonely marriage) to our compatibility on deeper levels. Then there are subtle triggers: the way someone’s voice sounds, how their scent resonates with us, or even the type of clothes they wear. ??? Just like in the animal kingdom, where elaborate mating rituals and displays of power are designed to attract a mate, human behavior can also condition us to be drawn to certain people. But is it love, attraction, or passion? It all depends on the parameters. Love, after all, is a feeling, an emotional state that’s determined by how our brain reacts—and yes, it can be tricked sometimes. ????

Now, can falling in love be orchestrated? In many ways, the answer is yes. Just like animals engineer attraction, humans can create environments or scenarios that increase the chances of falling in love. Technology, especially AI, can contribute by helping us find a better match, increasing the probability of being at the right place, with the right people, at the right time. ???? But here's the catch—I don’t want a machine deciding for me. We’re not living in a ‘Black Mirror’ episode. While AI can make a positive impact, it must be done with extreme care and ethics. It’s a tool that’s becoming more powerful, and with great power comes the need for responsibility. ????

The bigger, and perhaps more important, question is: can sustainable love be engineered? In my opinion, yes, but it’s far more complicated. Sustaining love requires constant nurturing, attention, and care—just like tending a garden. ???? Currently, we rely on couple counselors, therapists, best friends (though this can be risky, according to statistics), and even sexual wellness devices (yes, toys!). But imagine a future where AI offers constant support without judgment, providing 365-day, around-the-clock assistance—something no counselor can do. ????? With small adjustments, personalized care, and guidance, love can be cultivated like a master gardener nurtures their plants, making sure the relationship stays healthy and strong over time. ????

Think of it like navigating a huge ship with massive inertia in space—it only takes small, precise impulses to change course, but if you wait too long, it becomes impossible to avoid a collision. ???? Too often, couples only seek help when it’s too late, like the Titanic heading toward an iceberg at full speed. ???? By then, the damage is done. But with AI assisting in real-time, those little adjustments can keep the relationship on track, avoiding disaster before it happens.

Of course, pure romantics may not want to believe this. They prefer to talk about soulmates rather than brain chemistry, and that’s fine. I respect that. ???? But think about this: even if engineered love only works for 1% of the population, that’s still 70 million people experiencing transformative happiness—real, lasting love, not just the fleeting excitement of unboxing a new iPhone. ???? Imagine the impact that could have. For those 70 million people, it would change their lives completely. That kind of success makes all the effort and sacrifices to build such a system worth it.

For investors, this is where the opportunity lies. Even with a less 0.1% of the population or that previously said 1% success rate, the impact would be enormous—not just in lives changed but also in financial returns. With the potential to reach anywhere from 7 to 70 million people, the revenue could range from $800M to $8B. ???? If you’re interested in a high ROI with a small initial investment, this is the moment to talk to me. Together, we can not only build a business but also create an impact that echoes through generations.

For those interested in exploring how love can be further engineered through a neurosocial science perspective, I encourage you to check out this insightful article on compatibility I wrote on LinkedIn. It delves into the idea that love isn’t solely about shared interests but is rooted in deeper neurological and social dynamics. Feel free to like or share if you find it valuable: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/compatibility-love-really-shared-interests-nadia-devita-oktarini--yvd3c/

As someone who understands how to engineer love—or, more accurately, to create environments where love and deep connections can flourish—I cannot stand idle while millions suffer in silence from the devastating effects of loneliness. Just as millions of doctors around the world take the Hippocratic Oath, vowing to serve humanity and never "do harm," I too feel bound by a similar ethical duty. Their pledge to preserve life and alleviate suffering echoes my own commitment to fostering human connections.

Much like a physician cannot promise to cure every illness, I cannot guarantee love or friendship in every situation. However, my responsibility, like theirs, lies in doing everything within my power to help. Engineering love is not about manipulation or imposing feelings, but about creating emotional spaces where people can connect authentically, building bonds based on mutual respect and understanding.

The Hippocratic Oath emphasizes that a doctor must act when the tools are available to alleviate suffering, and I feel this applies to my work as well. If I have the tools to mitigate the loneliness epidemic and create environments that help people build meaningful relationships, then, ethically, I must act.

In this way, the ethical foundation of engineering love mirrors that of the medical profession: a commitment to enhancing well-being, respecting autonomy, and acting in good faith. My goal, like that of a doctor, is not to guarantee specific outcomes but to offer the possibility of connection, love, and emotional healing in a world that increasingly isolates us. Just as doctors serve humanity through medicine, I serve through creating opportunities for love—ensuring that no one is left behind in their emotional journey.