How Families Can Support Freshmen with ADHD and Dyslexia Over Thanksgiving Break

Thanksgiving break offers college freshmen a much-needed opportunity to reconnect with family and recharge after navigating the hurdles of their first semester. But for students managing ADHD or dyslexia, this transition can bring unique stress—from lingering academic pressures to feelings of inadequacy.

For these students with ADHD or dyslexia, the first semester is more than just another life transition. It's a portal to a new strange world with a different set of rules and almost a different physics. The feedback systems and expectations of cause and effect are delayed or accelerated in ways that don't always make sense to freshmen.

For example, a student might not realize the consequences of missing classes or not submitting an assignment until the 11 the or 12th week of a 16 week semester. That's where many students find themselves today as thanksgiving approaches. In high school the rules were different. There were progress reports and so on that teachers had to submit which kept students and parents in the loop. While some progress tracking is required in higher education, the feedback loop is longer, the parents are not part of it, and it is more fragile than the systems in most American public schools.

The first semester it’s often a test of resilience. Research highlights the particular challenges ADHD and dyslexia present during academic milestones like the first year of college (Anastopoulos et al., 2021).

As someone who struggled with this transition myself and made it out the other side to become an academic and a coach with ADHD and dyslexia, I know firsthand how tough it can be.

It often feels like a challenge to balance the relief of being home with the fear of judgment about grades or progress. Edward (Ned) Hallowell, M.D. and Dr. John Ratey, in their groundbreaking book Driven to Distraction, remind us that ADHD isn’t about deficits—it’s about different ways of thinking, often accompanied by remarkable creativity and energy.

Jessica McCabe , author of How to ADHD: An Insider’s Guide to Working with Your Brain, perfectly captures this paradox: “The fact that I could sometimes exceed expectations made it even more frustrating for me—and everyone around me—when I failed to meet the basic ones.” This experience resonates deeply for those of us who have felt capable one moment and overwhelmed the next.

With that in mind, here are four practical ways families and friends can support college students with ADHD or dyslexia over the holiday break.

1: Prioritize Connection Over Criticism

Focus on creating open, judgment-free conversations that foster trust and understanding.

When I came home for breaks, the first question was often, “How’s school and your grades?” While well-intentioned, questions like this can feel more like evaluations than support.

Instead, try open-ended questions such as:

“What’s been the most surprising part of college so far?”

“What’s something new you’ve learned about yourself this semester?”

This approach invites students to share their experiences on their terms, reminding them they’re valued for who they are—not just what they achieve. Honest, pressure-free conversations can go a long way in building trust and connection.

2: Help Build Systems Without Taking Over

Encourage collaborative problem-solving to empower independence and confidence.

Before I was diagnosed, I often relied on patchwork strategies to stay afloat. Some worked, but most fell apart under the weight of college demands. Students with ADHD or dyslexia often benefit from structure, but they may not yet know how to create systems that work for them.

Research suggests that executive function coaching can help students develop essential planning and problem-solving skills (Goudreau & Knight, 2018). If they seem overwhelmed, offer collaborative support instead of solutions. For instance, you could say:

“If you’d like help, let me know. We could brainstorm together, maybe break down an assignment into smaller steps, or explore tools to track assignments. Or, if you’re interested, I can help you find an therapist, ADHD coach, or tutor. These things have been proven to help.”

The goal is to support them in experimenting and discovering what works—without micromanaging. By empowering them to build their own systems, you’re fostering independence and self-confidence.

3: Encourage Rest and Reflection

Give students space to decompress and lift the pressure to “fix everything.”

College life is draining, especially for students juggling ADHD or dyslexia. When I came home, I was often physically and mentally exhausted—from academics and the constant effort of masking my struggles.

While assistive technologies, accessibility considerations, and disability services today are much better than when I was in school, the increased cognitive load and executive function demand can still be exhausting. Breaks are an opportunity to recharge, but only if the pressure to solve everything is lifted.

Encourage activities that allow them to relax, whether it’s spending time outdoors, cooking together, or binge-watching a favorite show. Affirm their efforts with simple statements like:

“You’ve worked so hard—it’s okay to take a breather.”

“I’m proud of everything you’ve tackled so far.”

A safe, supportive environment can work wonders for their mindset and energy.

4: Celebrate Strengths, Not Just Achievements

Recognize and affirm their unique strengths to foster self-confidence.

Students with ADHD or dyslexia often focus on what’s going wrong rather than what’s going right. Jessica McCabe reminds us that these students also bring incredible creativity, resilience, and unique problem-solving abilities—qualities that deserve recognition.

Instead of emphasizing results, celebrate their strengths and efforts:

“I love the creative way you organized your notes.”

“You’ve grown so much in managing your time this semester—it’s impressive.”

Positive reinforcement helps students reframe challenges and see their potential.

Have a Great Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving break offers families an opportunity to remind students they’re not alone in this journey. By prioritizing connection, encouraging rest, empowering their systems, and celebrating their strengths, you can provide the kind of support that helps them thrive—not just during the break, but in life.

With understanding, empathy, and the right support systems, these students can harness their unique perspectives and abilities to succeed in their own way.

#Thanksgiving #Holiday#ADHD #Dyslexia #College #Coaching #FamilyTips

References

Anastopoulos, A., et al. (2021). A randomized controlled trial examining CBT for college students with ADHD. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 89(1), 21–33.

Goudreau, S. B., & Knight, M. (2018). Executive function coaching: Assisting with transitioning from secondary to postsecondary education. Journal of Attention Disorders, 22(4), 379–387.

Hallowell, E. M., & Ratey, J. J. (1994). Driven to distraction: Recognizing and coping with attention deficit disorder from childhood through adulthood. Anchor.

McCabe, J. (2024.). How to ADHD: An insider's guide to working with your brain. Rodale.