How to Fall In Love With Writing: 4 Rules You Haven't Heard

"You have to write all the time!"

What does that even mean? Doesn't everyone, of every profession, do that already?

We write texts, social media posts, emails, etc. Does none of that count? Does "writing" only imply books? Professional documents? Short fiction? College-level essays? Blog posts?

I say all of it counts. The goal isn't to write something, anything, every day. You've been instructed to write non-stop if you ever want to become a professional or prolific writer.

Here's first the problem: You're attempting to achieve a (vague and subjective) goal by firing off in a random direction. Congratulations, you gave yourself a new problem, which is the real problem: You don't know what to write about.

How I Thought Up This Post

First, my humble disclaimer. I don't think of myself as a great writer. I don't know what that is. Sounds daunting. However, I have been called "a great writer," plenty of times. I earn a living writing. My clients are commonly impressed and delighted with what I produce, whether it's sales copy, informative content, or creative story-telling.

I have confidence in my writing abilities, and most professional writers don't.

So, I asked myself:

What would you tell someone who wants to learn to write?

That question made my face hurt. I think I grunted. No immediate, simple answers came to mind. You might as well ask me what the meaning of life is (people ask me this).

Next, I asked myself a better question:

If you could go back in time and give your past-self advice on how to get to where you are today, but faster, what would you say?

That question allowed me to dissect remembered moments of learning. Mainly, I recalled select advice that proved truthful.

Here are four rules to adhere to that will cultivate your love for writing.

Rule #1 Have Fun

I went to a workshop of some kind. I honestly don't remember what it promised to teach. It was held by a self-published novelist. He was probably teaching about self-publishing novels.

What I do remember is the instructor telling us at the end, in regards to writing, "If this isn't fun. Don't do it.

The class ended, and he told us to buy his novels. I got one for free, went home, started reading, and was immediately disappointed. The subject matter wasn't the problem. The writing was terrible.

"Natasha Fastdraw was walking through the autumn leaves of a city when she remembered that her spaceship was out of gas."

That's not an exact quote, but it isn't far off. I was inspired. Truly. I'm not being facetious. Encouragement surged through me. The author had told us that he made a comfortable living selling his novels. His books read like personal sci-fi fantasies, not professional novels. That meant you didn't have to be any good to make a living! Perfect!

He's right. You have to write a lot to be a writer. If it's not fun, you're going to burn out spaceship fast.

Here's another reason to write when it's fun. Next time you read an exciting, emotional, or powerful line of prose, ask yourself: "What was the writer feeling when he or she wrote this?"

Writing is an art. When you pour life into it, the reader picks up on it. Whatever you give, it will come through in one way or another.

When the mood strikes you, and you have a crazy, pointless, silly idea for a story or blog post, write it. If you publish it, you may be surprised by the reaction you receive to "just a stupid story."

Rule #2 Write With Love

I'm still learning from this one, and it's probably the most valuable lesson in this post.

Writing with love turns lead into gold. Here's how I learned it.

I had written a humorous short novel (a novelette) while waiting tables. I had a manuscript, unpublished, and unedited. One of my co-workers shared my sense of humor. We got on well. She had a Bachelor's in English and was from the Los Angeles area. Even though I had never been to California, the story took place in L.A. and the surrounding areas.

I asked her for an edit, and she obliged for $50 (do not expect to get that price for a 25,000-word manuscript). When she finished, she set a meeting with me. She dressed business-professional and acted business-professional. I felt special.

She told me she loved it, it had her laughing, she couldn't put it down, I was a great man who should be a millionaire, and all the things a young wanna-be author wants to hear. I had a lot of fun writing it.

One of the characters (not the protagonist, but a central character) was based on an author I adore. I loved that author. The story, you could say, was a love letter to the now-dead author.

Later, that same co-worker told me she lost her mother, with whom she was very close. I asked her if there was anything I could do. She told me she wanted "normal." She wanted to go to work and not think about it.

A normal day meant making wisecracks, playing pranks, and acting the part of an annoying younger brother. I wanted her to feel better.

I wrote a short story. To anyone else, it would have been insulting. To her, it would be precious.

I had made up a ridiculous fictionalized version of her as the protagonist. That's a bit risky, but it worked. She loved it. So much that she began referring to herself as the character's (unflattering) name.

Once I started publishing fiction on a personal blog to see if I could get views, and a little income from my writing, I asked permission to post the story I wrote to her. She said sure, I published it, and it went trending. I made my first writing-dollar (about $150) off that short story. I had proven the model that my writing could make money.

The lesson: even though the story wasn't written to everyone on that particular social media platform, it communicated something widely appealing. That something was love. I loved my co-worker (like a little brother).

The story itself was silly, but I sincerely wanted to cheer her up. I had put my heart into it.

How often have you heard that a particular best-seller or hit song was dedicated to someone important to the artist or author? How many times have you seen a dedication at the beginning of a book, fiction, or nonfiction?

Find someone, living or dead, that you love, and write directly to him or her. It doesn't have to be a love story. It doesn't have to be mushy or romantic at all.

It could be a case study for a SaaS (software as a service) company, headline copy for an e-commerce store, an email, a text, anything.

The rule of love knows no boundaries. Whenever you feel an abundance of love in your heart, think of it as an electrical charge. Let it infuse your words, your message, or your story. Trust in the universal power of love and write.

Rule #3 Writing As Therapy

Writing as therapy is a common writing tip, so let's get more specific.

When you're lonely, pop open a text document and write anything.

Here's the challenge/game of it: You are the audience. Write to make yourself feel better. Don't stop until you feel better. Talk to yourself via text on your screen.

When someone ticks you off, don't broadcast your pain on social media, write to yourself.

For me, I would usually rant, or sob, or both. The finished work rarely impresses. That's a good thing. I noticed my writing kind of sucks.

Over time, I ended up writing concise stories (I was too lazy to flesh them out). I was creating self-soothing flash fiction or rambling poetry.

Occasionally, when I look back at these, I laugh. This is along the same lines as journaling. Documenting how you feel can help to give you insights about yourself when reading at a later day. More importantly, as it pertains to this post, you create a reason to write.

Whenever you feel less than 100% satisfied with life, you have something to write about. If you're like me, writing every day just became very doable.

There's another, secret, and highly valuable advantage to writing as therapy. Here is where you will develop your own unique style by learning about you.

Let go, work out the demons, find a cadence. Screw grammar (unless you really can't stand poor grammar). This is about making you feel better, not some English teacher.

If you learn to do that with your own writing, you can do it for others. You just developed your brand voice by bitching to yourself.

Rule #4 Your Opinion Matters

Most of what I covered above I learned while practicing fiction. When I transitioned to blogging (and writing professionally), I struggled with what to blog about.

I could go into the topics of ideating, customer research, keyword research...

Realistically, you should do all of that if you're being paid to write digital content. I do. But no one is paying me to write this.

More importantly, passion is required if you want your post to stand out. If you're trying to get the writing-ball rolling, start with what matters to you.

Here's an easy exercise:

• Jump on Facebook or your troll-den of choice
• Find posts or comments you disagree with
• Find a common theme (like a shared stupidity that you notice)
• Now imagine all those idiots were actually well-educated, rational, men and women-of-reason
• Write your counter-argument

It could be as simple as "margaritas are not the key to losing weight." Whatever rocks your boat enough to want to say something.

Include links as supporting evidence. Use quotes from prominent relevant professionals or outspoken celebrities and politicians.

Write a headline like "Are Margaritas the Key To Losing Weight?" or something much, much better.

Do the stock-image thing for a high-res photo of someone in yoga pants who looks like they enjoy a margarita.

If you impress yourself, publish it somewhere you think has a chance of receiving engagement. See what happens.

Your opinion matters. If your research is terrible, people will tell you. I said your opinion matters. I didn't say that you're infallible.

Bonus Writing Tips (that you've probably heard)

Just in case you haven't, here are a few more essential tips that I live and swear by.

First, there was once a man named Henry Charles Bukowski. He put Tolstoy to shame. You don't have to be an alcoholic, a womanizer, or have a legendary bad attitude (like Buko) to be a writer. You also don't need a huge vocabulary.

The mad poet, Bukowski, proved that you can say anything using only simple language. Philosophers, classical literary giants, spiritual gurus, physicists, and artists of all calibers rarely ever reached the inner depths of the human soul that Bukowski did.

Today, the average reading level isn't at the college level (or the high school level).

Second, show and don't tell.

This is as basic as it gets in terms of writing advice. I'll keep it short.

Don't say, "the man was nervous."

Say, "The man fidgeted in his chair."

Allow the audience to react. If your audience thinks the man in the chair had Hemorrhoids, then you did something wrong.

Third, avoid to-be verbs and adverbs. Adverbs really water you writing down significantly. I mean, adverbs water your writing down. To-be verbs are boring. Oops. To-be verbs bore readers.

Fourth, write, then edit.

Don't edit while you write. Don't write while you edit. First, get it down. Avoid using backspace and fully commit to a shitty first draft.

Not only will you produce a better final draft, but you will write so much faster.

Writing is constructive. Editing is destructive. When you're writing, the horse is running. Don't try to put horseshoes on (great analogy, I know) while it's running. Your brain works differently writing than when it's editing. Get in the habit of separating the two.

This can be tough to learn for some people (it took me years), but it's worth it. I can turn out a 6,000-word blog post in a day because I treat writing and editing as separate stages of the entire process.

Fifth, after you write something, read it out loud to yourself or someone else. Again, this is not a new tip. However, I'm stating it because, as a habit, it's potent in molding you into a conscientious writer. People will compliment how masterfully your words flow. They say that because they read your stuff out loud, and it sounded good.

Conclusion

Instead of "writing all the time!" or "writing every day!" I'm telling you to only write to fulfill rules 1 through 4. You will always have something that you care about to write about.

As a challenge, choose a rule from the list, write, and publish the results. Share the link to [email protected]. In the subject line include which rule or combination you chose. I'm happy to be your audience and provide comments if you like.

Don't try. Write with love, do it for fun, talk to yourself, and state your opinion.