How to face when you need to change – a lesson from Ted Lasso

Ted had this wonderful line that “Taking on a challenge is like riding a horse. If you’re comfortable while you’re doin’ it, you’re probably doin’ it wrong.” Whilst I accept he’s factually incorrect (regarding horseriding), the sentiment is rather perfect.

Early in the series, Ted’s wife and son come over to London to visit him. Michelle, his wife, and he have a difficult discussion regarding their marriage; it’s clearly not working, and Ted is having a lot of trouble accepting it.

Against this backdrop the game that week continues with the arrogant, though talented, Jamie Tartt refusing to pass to his teammates. He explains that, essentially, he is more gifted than God and the supporters only come to watch him. Jamie does score and thus ties the game. They go into half-time. Sam has been injured but Jamie cares not, he is the lone star in the world that he can see. Ted is so angry he does something seemingly reckless; he benches his star! Jamie is livid. The rest of the team is transfixed. Without Jamie in the game, the rest of them will all have to lift and play as a team if they are to have any hope to prevail. Ted, perhaps without seeing the irony, tells them they must embrace change, as it is essential for their future success. The team take the pitch for the second half, they work well together and together the whole is greater than the parts, they score and win their first victory all season (and hence is it the first taste of victory for Ted). The supporters are beside themselves, everyone is.

Only much later does Ted come to see that he also must acknowledge another change, the loss of his marriage. As with most significant change, it is not easy, it can feel confronting, but it is essential that we see and embrace what is.

And perhaps that is our lesson. When something doesn’t seem to be working. When you are mining for gold, but you only find tin. When you hit that wall. When everyone else seems to have it wrong. Find a calm place where you can reflect, journal and consider anew if perhaps you need to change. Talk to others whose opinions you respect. Perhaps it is not the path you sought, but could it be a new path? Allow yourself to wallow a bit if you need (but only for a time), and ultimately find a way to accept it. Plan out a new path. And that can bring its own enjoyment.