How every decade has taught me a new lesson.

As we rapidly approach a new decade, a sobering thought popped in to my head - when I realized that I’d been working for over forty years (43 to be exact if you count my days as a paper girl and corner shop assistant). Even scarier to think that based on retirement age, I still have at least another 10 to go - phew!

Each employment decade has given me pause for thought and new learnings, some of which I’ll share

My Misfire Twenties

I don’t know about you, but early on in my career, I wasn’t very career focused. I’d married young, proceeding to have my first son in my very early twenties. My goal back then was to keep my head above water, nose to the grindstone, work really hard and stay on top of my mounting debt. With a broken marriage way before hitting my thirties, and a second son, so began my valuable learnings.

Don’t worry too much about what other people think - I say “too much” as opposed to “not at all”, as to be honest we’re not mature enough to ignore other person’s opinions of us. I for one definitely worried about what other people thought far too much. I ignored my internal red flags and held back when I should have followed my gut and moved forward. I relinquished too much power to what others thought than what my own gut told me. That inner voice is there for a reason, take heed and as you mature that voice will be one of your best guides as it grows louder, stronger and more confident.

Don’t panic when setbacks occur - With my failed marriage came the cold acceptance that I needed a career and not just a job. Not having many formal qualifications can seem like a fatal setback, especially if you’re a newly discovered perfectionist, it can truly upset our psyche. But with it comes the realization that the path to success is rarely ever a straight line; it’s more like the highway engineering marvel of my home town Birmingham affectionately known as Spaghetti Junction, a road with plenty twists, turns, stops, starts and congestion. The key is to, just keep going, don’t give up, you’ll reach your destination.

Goals, goals - always believe in your goals - You have the power to know you’re indestructible (sung to the tune of Gold – apologies to Spandau Ballet). Write down your goals – and never be afraid to pursue them. Even with my career miss start, I knew I had to have a plan and with that plan came goals! There’s so much power in physically writing your goals and seeing them emerge across the page. Plus it’s scientifically proven that people who write down their goals are more successful in achieving them. Seeing them your goals on a page, makes them so much more tangible and concrete, as if you could reach out and grab them! And you can.

Back on Track Thirties

Be a lifelong learner - As I entered my third decade, I returned to school. To be honest, when I was younger further education was never a hot topic, mainly because I didn’t think I was University material (this was early 80s and you rarely saw people like me going to Uni)! Plus, my previous college forays weren’t particulary successful. I’ve always had the notion that it’s hard to ask a 14 year to choose the path to their lifelong career when they haven’t even lived life! I’m a huge supporter of midlife career reviews - at this point you’ve lived a little and probably realized that your childhood career isn’t necessarily one you wish to continue. So for me the lesson here is that personal development is always ongoing - never stop pursuing excellence in all you do.

Asking for support is not a weakness – Going back to school with two children and working would NOT have been possible without my support team aka my Mum and close friends. During this period my inner mean girl was in hyper drive – with an inner dialog that went something like this… Are the younger students going to look down on me for not knowing answers in class? These guys have just left school, will they already know the answers, I don’t? How can I co-ordinate kids, job and University on my own? There is a misconception in the business world (especially in highly competitive organizations) that asking for help is a sign of weakness. But this mindset can be so completely debilitating and obstructive to professional growth! Instead of focusing on that snapshot of time, take some time to consider the bigger picture. Sourcing help and asking questions can actually increase your chances of long term success, because you are setting the foundation for greater things by eliminating the challenges that could scupper your progress early on. So, set aside the thoughts of embarrassment and the perceived risks of asking for help and utilize that support team, ask those questions.   

Become your personal advocate - Now, I am not talking about self-glorification here. I’m talking about owning your own career path. After spending 5+ years at a particular organization, I’d been successful at attaining the set objectives, I’d taken time to focus on my self-improvement, I’d built my network. A promotion opportunity presented itself which I truly believed I was ready for but unfortunately despite my perceived success the hiring manager could only see where I’d started in the organization not what I’d achieved to get to where I was – I didn’t get the promotion! That was my cue to leave, no one knows better than you what you’d like to achieve. No one knows the path you’d like to take better than you. No one knows the work you produce, the strengths you have, nor the skills you possess better than you. So believe in yourself.

Food For Thought Forties

Rome wasn’t built in a day – Even though I’d finally gone back to school, I was still years away from becoming a successful CEO (that wasn’t even the plan). The road to CEO'dom consisted of me identifying opportunities, knowing my worth and being unafraid to take a risk. Suffice to say that no matter how bright you are, how clever you are, or how many people you know, very few people go directly from college to the C-suite. Successful careers aren’t built over night. You have to put in the work. You have to put in the time. I know we all feel the need for instant gratification based on social media, but the experience you garner on your career journey is priceless and can only be learned by experience, so take the time to amass those skills and learn valuable lessons. Success takes time.

Don’t harbour a Me, Myself and I mentality – Remember I mentioned your support team? This is next level support. This is an alliance on multiple fronts – you need a network that believes in you, will vouch for you, can help you. If you’re in a leadership position, I cannot stress enough the importance of surrounding yourself with great people – you can’t/won’t and don’t need to know everything if you build a team with the right people.

I wholeheartedly advocate the need for 1) a mentor – to gain an understanding of your desired career path and act as a sounding board, 2) a coach – to challenge you and ask you the questions you won’t ask yourself and 3) a sponsor – someone in your corner to act as your cheerleader. 

Basically, approach your work two ways One, that if asked, everyone would have something positive to say about you. From your work ethic, your values, your skills. Two, if work were a boxing ring, you’d have a team to refresh you in between rounds.

You are most definitely never too old Fifties!

At this point I could honestly look back and feel a sense of great accomplishment – I did become the first female CEO in a male dominated industry, my children were grown, I had a great marriage. Yet I had acquired a feeling of unfulfilment and was no longer stimulated by the corporate environment. It’s natural, our ideas change, our vision for ourselves changes over time and that’s what makes us human. At this point, I calculated that I’d spent approximately 83,000 hours working – that’s a whole lot of life!   I was questioning whether my job matched my values (those too had changed over the decades) and whether it was allowing me to use my strengths and be the best version of me – that was a hard No!

Not Changing Can Be Riskier Than Changing - When faced with changing our careers or our jobs at any age can be scary but in your fifties – it’s downright frightening. In my mind, my thoughts should have been steering towards slowing down, dreaming up retirement activities but here I was contemplating a whole career pivot. In our fifties, it’s tempting to believe that a career change is just too frightening, but what was more frightening to me was the thought of staying in my current career. We focus on all the risks of changing — but we rarely ask what are the risks of not changing.

So I did and it wasn’t so scary - You don’t have to spend the rest of your life dreading the sound of your alarm clock — there’s always time to shift gears and go in a totally different direction. You just have to be prepared for naysayers — well-meaning friends, family members and even yourself will question your judgment. You’ll hear it all – “You’re too old”, “It’s impractical, you should be slowing down not speeding up/changing.” “Suppose it doesn’t work, what will you do?” “No one will want to employ you” “What about your pension?”and my favourite “How can you leave a good job?!”

But gather your courage and push forward, you won’t regret it! 

Janice Sutherland is an award winning women’s leadership expert and founder of This Woman Can an online community for professional women. She provides coaching and training specializing in helping women and organizations build leadership skills through Executive Mentorship, Leadership Training and Executive Team Facilitation for both corporate executives and entrepreneurs globally. She is a sought after keynote presenter for corporate and nonprofit environments and speaks on issues relating to leadership, women’s advancement, professional success and work/life alignment. For more details, visit www.janicesutherland.com

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