How to Escape from a Bad Date!
Erik Hans Larson LICSW, ACSW
Agency Principal. Mental Health Therapist
Fake an Emergency:
Excuse yourself from the table. Bring your cell phone. Contact a friend. Tell your friend to call you back in 5 minutes. Go back to your date and explain that there is an emergency. (dog escaped, friend hospitalized) Apologize profusely and then just leave in a hurry.
Leave abrubtly before your date can protest. Apologize and act disheveled. Leave and refuse any attempt to accompany you. Leave swiftly and without hesitation and your date won’t have time to understand what’s happening or object. Run. Don’t look back.
Slip Away Unnoticed:
Identify escape route: Observe your surroundings. Note exits, especially back doors. Look for the primary and secondary escape routes.
Alter your appearance: Think of your most distinctive features. You must alter your first impression since this is what your date remembers about you. The bad date is going to see a figure moving past at a distance and will be focusing on your first impression. If you are not familiar, and uninteresting you won’t get a second look.
Add or remove clothing: Layer your clothes. This can affect your body shape and even gender. A long coat will obscure your body type. A hat is very useful in concealing hair and facial features. Eyeglasses will polish off the disguise. A designer shopping bag is handy prop used to hold your belongings. If you have sleeves roll them up or down. Shirt tucked in? Untuck it.
Change your walk and posture: If you walk fast, then walk slow. If you stand up straight, hunch. To change your gait, slip a pebble in your shoe, or bind your knee with string or piece of cloth.
Change your hairstyle or color: a rubber band, hairspray, kitchen grease can be useful in changing your hairstyle, darkening or changing hairline. Borrow flour from kitchen to lighten or gray your hair.
Adopt a role: Grab an apron and notepad and stroll right past unnoticed. Or start clearing an empty table with your apron.
Make your move: DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR DATE.
Slip out the Window:
Locate a usable window. Avoid chicken wire or plate glass. Bathroom windows often work best. If not on ground floor, make sure there is a fire escape.
Attempt to open the window, no matter how dire you need to get away.
Prepare to break the window if you cannot open it. Make sure no one is around. Lock bathroom door if possible. Avoid using your elbow or fist. Instead use an implement like a waste basket, toilet plunger, briefcase or paper towel dispenser.
Strike the center of the glass. Wrap your hands with cloth. Clear the shards. Don’t worry about cuts or a little blood. Run!
Get Your Date to Leave:
Say something offensive. Use your imagination.
Behave inappropriately. Be unattractive. Chew loudly and with your mouth open. Argue with the waiter. Close your eyes and pretend to sleep. Drop lit matches on your plate. Ignore everything they say. Call somebody else on their cell phone.
Fools’ errand. Send your date on a wild goose chase. Tell him/her that you have a friend who will be dropping off the nightclub tickets off in a few minutes but somebody else has to get in line early…
Fake an allergy attack. Insist that they go and purchase you an over-the-counter allergy medicine. Explain that if you don’t get it, you break out in hives.
www.infiniuminvestigations.com