How to Enjoy Life

The most straightforward words: "Enjoy life." Sure any guru or some jerk on a side street can say "Enjoy Life, Billy." But what does it mean, and how can you do it? I can honestly say a state of mind can make or break an enjoyable life. Starting from the bottom and rebuilding yourself is the first step. David Goggins says it best "No one is coming to save you. You have to look at the deepest darkest part of your mind and be real with yourself." Tony Robbins is even honest with you "You have to enjoy life now. Not in 15 years or 50 million dollars richer. If you aren't happy now, you won't be happy in 15 years with more money, a better car, or a better house." I know this is crazy to hear, more money and a better house will not make me happy? Why the hell not? Do not worry, and I am here to tell you that making more money will not make you happy unless you make the best of it and the process. Stick with me, and by the end of this article, you will feel a little better about yourself and the world around you.

Background

No, not that kind of background... The background of enjoying life! I have been on a bit of a journey to find happiness and to enjoy my everyday life. The job wasn't cutting it, the marriage wasn't cutting it (sorry honey), and most importantly, the voice in my head wasn't helping. Let us take a step a little further back.

When I was living at home, and I was in high school, I couldn't wait to get out of the house. I dreamt of it every single day. I thought I wouldn't try that much in High School. I'll try and get my act together in college, and then I'll be happier. I'll kill it in college get straight A's, and I'll be the best there ever was. Boy, was I wrong. I was miserable. It turns out I went to the wrong college went into the wrong major and struggled. I did, however, get out of the house, but I was like, "Really, is this what college is supposed to be like?"

I then set my sights on a new goal, and that was graduating. Oh my god, graduating from Alfred, was an impressive accomplishment for me. After I graduated from Alfred, I met the love of my life. Everyone thought I came back home because of my wife. I did NOT, DAD! I did, however, come back because Alfred's major wasn't for me. I needed to expand my knowledge. I obtained my AS degree, but I still needed my BS. But, in the middle of my last semester at Mercy, I started to panic...

Now I had to find that awesome desk job with my own office. I was super excited! I was like, "Yea, and I have an awesome new goal!" Let's do this get a desk job at an excellent company, and I'll be super happy!" Again I wasn't pleased after a couple of months. The long commute and the repetitive days take a toll on you. Yea, I might be complaining here, but at this point, I realized I'm not too fond of the routine. I need a mix-up. Otherwise, I coast through life.

Another new goal was set. I had to find a house. I can live on my own and invite friends over whenever I want. I was back with my parents for a little bit now, and I pulled the hair out of my head almost every day. I love my parents but my god... Some people will understand this, but others won't. After looking at 50 houses we (My wife and I. Not Married yet but you get it.) finally found one, it was a great commuter location a fixer-upper's dream. And it is a beautiful house but as you can probably guess I was not happy after buying it. Lots of work goes into fixing a home. Commuting every day and not being able to enjoy your weekends kind of sucks.

Finally, and I probably will attract some shit for this, was marriage. I said, "Yes, I will get married and be happy." Everyone says, "Marriage is hard, lots of compromises. Happy wife, happy life... Blah Blah BLAH." I didn't believe it. For me, it will be different. Yup, you guessed right, not different. I was miserable, working two full-time jobs (Grande and Marriage ??). Needless to say, I was sad. I wouldn't say I liked every day. I wanted to punt a cat down a hallway.

So to recap, I got out of my parent's house, went to college, got a BS, got that desk job, got the home, and got married. That should be the recipe for happiness, right?

Boy, was I wrong. And take notes here because I am not blaming my parents 100%. I am not blaming the house 100%. I am most certainly not blaming my wife 100%. Maybe six months ago, it would have been the world's fault. "Everyone around me is stupid, lazy, and they have no idea what they are doing." -Christopher Masi

There are vital factors we have to take away from this:

1. Mindset
2. Environment
3. Knowledge

All 3 of those are very important, and numbers 2 and 3 are directly related to number 1. Don't worry; I will let you know this secret in just a second.

Knowledge

No matter who you are. No matter where you're from, you have to know something. Knowledge comes from many different streams. Everything from school to street smarts, you have to know to be useful. I don't care if you are starting a drug business or creating a billion-dollar cosmetic industry. If you do NOT learn anything or try to learn anything new, you will FAIL. NO ONE and I repeat NO ONE knows everything. Your knowledge is directly related to how you think. Sometimes you have to dig deep and remember that you don't know sh*t.

Every millionaire, a famous person, even a poor person has to read a book or make mistakes to learn real-life lessons. Making mistakes is your most excellent teacher. I have made a ton of errors, clearly and now I am a better person because of it. There are people who keep making the same mistakes and not making any changes, then wondering why their life never changes. I realized after a few months of being at my current job that not everything had to be so stressful. I was watching people like Toy Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuck, and I was so confused about why they are so happy. I said I am miserable every single day. I found no joy in getting up driving an hour+ to work every day and an hour+ back just to come home and work on my nonfixed house. I knew that I was doing something wrong.

I encourage anyone to pick up at least one book a month. You MUST learn from people who have made the mistakes already. Fill your head with as much knowledge as possible. Something will stick, trust me. I can tell you first hand that I read over 20 books in 2 months and a lot of Simon Sinek, David Goggins, and get sh*t done material stuck. Being happy should be your number 1 goal in life. No one is happy every day, but you should have more happy days than not. I found my self more miserable than not.

Environment

Your environment plays a HUGE role in your happiness, knowledge, and mindset. Whatever you do, associate yourself with like-minded people. Even if it is virtual. Go on Youtube, Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, and find people who are willing to support you. I can tell you first hand if you have friends or family who have no desire to change, and you tell them your goals; they will try to squash them. Even if you say, I want to lose 5 pounds. And let me tell you, losing 5 pounds is pretty easy when done correctly. If your friends are losers, you are destined to be a loser. Do not take this the wrong way. You may have friends who have no desire to change. But they may support you 100% keep those friends. They will be an excellent use for you one day.

I have found that the people you see on social media to support you sometimes are more toxic than your hometown friends. Just be careful whom you talk to and whom you hang out with. I do want to Instow in you, especially on social media, to help as much as possible. Make sure you do not want anything in return. Social media will help you attract people who want to help you. I can tell you if you go and like a few pictures on someone's profile and leave a couple of comments and follow them, and they do not return the favor. They are not looking to help you. Just themselves. No problem with those people, I can say that you will not want them in your circle. You also want people who like your content. So do not go chasing after them. You want people who love you for you.

Finally, let us talk about the family. Now my parents don't support me 100%, and I do not blame them at all. They grew up old school Italian. You work hard to get a job go to school, pay bills, and die. I know there is more to life than just paying bills and dying. They are a bit more supportive now than they were when I was in high school. But as you could see from my past, I didn't know what the F*** I was doing. So, can I blame them for lack of support? I have a very supportive family and friends. But I want to stress that there will be cousins, uncles, and aunts that might not believe in you. Or make fun of you. I will tell you that they are jealous, do not understand your mindset, or they did nothing with their lives, so you have to do nothing as well. Gary Vaynerchuck speaks on this topic regularly. Don't listen to your Aunt Karen. She doesn't know anything about what you are trying to accomplish. Focus on helping yourself. If you do, then Aunt Karen won't have anything to say once you are picking up the bill at the restaurant we went to for your father's (her brother's) birthday.

Mindset

Honestly, I was very excited to speak on this one. That is why I put it as number 1 on the list. Every road you take, every single step you take, is controlled by your mind. Mindset is key to a successful life. Self-talk, the voices, and the cluttered mind all reflects how you do things. If your mind is clear, then your goals will be as well. So, for example, I was miserable in my past. I tricked myself into believing (my mind tricked me) that I was not good enough, or I can't do something. My wife is mad at me because of this. Your mind tells you things. You decide to listen or not. Your brain wants to keep you safe. Harm free! Your mind LOVES to be safe and comfortable. Do not let that throw you off your game. Seek discomfort, and you will find that discomfort isn't that bad at all.

I want to stress that there are two voices in your head. The two voices that guide your everyday life. If you choose to let the negative one overpower the positive one; you will live a boring life. I am here to tell you that the voice that says, "F*ck it, do it see what happens." Should be screaming at you to push your dreams forward. I want to help everyone I can to push their dreams forward. I can assure you the "can do it" voice isn't screaming in my head. It is louder than it was six months ago. But the "can't do it" voice comes back, but I always remember, everything is impossible until someone does it.

Wrap Up Your Thoughts

I can assure you that I am not "Successful" in my definition yet. But I have already taken the right steps forward. I am reading as much as I can. I am aiming for one book a week. I have my knowledge covered. I am continually making real-life mistakes and learning how I can have a different approach. I regularly audit my friends and the people I hang out with and cut out as much as I can the people who do not have the same goals as me. I do want to mention you may not have to cut out a person completely. You may choose not to listen to what they say. Go by what Gary always pushes, "Who gives a f*ck about what sallypants69 says?" I can honestly say that my mindset has improved tenfold since I started my journey. But as I said, the "I can't" voice comes in every once and a while. Keep a level head in your life, and everything else will fall into place.

Some books you should read to get a head start!

Crushing It By Garvey: https://amzn.to/2Sca76b

High-Performance Habits by Brandon Burchard: https://amzn.to/38M5CWo

Can't Hurt Me By David Goggins: https://amzn.to/38T0O1D

How to Make Shit happen by Sean Whalen: https://amzn.to/2O3AhGT