How To End Up Doing What You Were Meant To Do

I'm very lucky. Passionate, dedicated, and meaningful. These are the words I use to describe how I feel about what I’ve been doing every day for the past 22 years. When talking about what I do, which is helping people to pursue and achieve their career success, I simply tell others that it’s what I was meant to do.

It didn’t start out this way though. For the first 10 years of my career (counting my university degree), I did something I had no passion for and little dedication towards. I studied mechanical engineering and became an R&D design engineer for a major toy company (Mattel). Actually, doing R&D or engineering design work, and making toys for a living, are great careers for many people. Just not for me.

So I began searching for what I would enjoy more, with no idea what that might be. After eight years, I found it. There are several key things I did during my search that I’ve written about in another article that I’ll mention later. But here are two big things I’ll highlight now.

1)   Three elements – The most important thing I did? Point myself in a direction that was true and consistent with what I care about and am most interested in. But early in your career, it’s nearly impossible to identify what it is that you want to do. What do you know about the real world yet? What experience and exposure do you have so far to tell you what possibilities and options are out there, or even what something is really about?

So I thought about what I call my three elements, or three things I most wanted to be part of any job or career situation I pursued. By identifying and then always keeping these elements in mind, you’ll avoid job and career situations that you’re not that interested in and that aren’t that meaningful to you, and better pursue ones that are.

For example, these are the three elements I identified for myself back in my mid-20s.

1)   Business - Although I didn’t understand it well, I was much more interested in the business world than engineering/manufacturing world. I liked the whole idea of building something that benefited or provided value to others. I was also very interested in the things that it took to achieve this, like leadership, strategic thinking, and marketing.

2)   Helping people – As an R&D design engineer, I sat in front of a computer most of the day. Not what I wanted to do. Although I was shy, I liked talking to people. And doing things that helped others energized and brought out the best in me. So whatever I pursued for my career, I wanted it to involve dealing with people and doing something that impacted the lives of others.

3)   China – I’ve written about this before, but my first time to China changed my life. I always refer to the trip as, an awakening. During the trip, I felt a sense of pride, appreciation, and humility about being Chinese that I’d never felt before in the U.S. Although I didn’t speak Mandarin and knew little about Chinese society and culture, I knew I wanted to be a part of this country’s development and future someday.

It took me a couple months of pondering and soul-searching to identify my three elements. But once I did, they gave me a clear sense of what was most important to me and the direction I wanted to go. Look at my career over the years and you’ll see these elements in every job move and career decision I’ve made.

By always keeping them in mind, I’ve avoided jobs that offered more money and with famous companies that, ultimately, weren’t the right fit for me. They’ve also helped me choose jobs and join companies that I never thought I’d be interested in or even consider. Being an entrepreneur and in the recruitment and talent industry here for 20+ years are good examples. Turns out, these fit my three elements extremely well.

So what I highly recommend is, identify the three elements that you hope can always be part of what you pursue for your career.

 

2)   They’re not you! – A big reason many people end up in jobs and careers that don’t fit them is because they listened to the advice of someone else. Usually, it’s your parents, relatives, teachers, friends, or colleagues who genuinely care about your success and happiness, and are sincere in their career advice to you.

But here’s the thing about career advice. Be open to it, and appreciate anyone who takes an interest in your success and future. But also remember, they’re not you. First of all, nobody should know you better than yourself. Especially, what you like/dislike, enjoy doing/don’t enjoy doing, and care/don’t care about. Job and career decisions aren’t about good or bad, right or wrong. They’re relative to what’s important to you!

Second, giving career advice is easy. But follow someone’s advice that ends up being wrong, it’s not them who has to show up at a job or company they don’t like, or do something every day that they don’t enjoy. It’s you. They can just go, “Oh well, I guess I was wrong.” But you’re the one who has to suffer the consequences of your bad decision, based on their advice.

And finally, nobody forces you to take a certain job or pursue a certain career. These are your decisions. So to end up doing something you like, be mature enough to recognize that, it’s your career, your responsibility. Make job and career decisions that you believe fit you, and aren’t based on someone else’s idea of what might.

In my case, my dad’s an engineer who wanted me to become an engineer too. That’s why I chose engineering. In addition, my mom, who’s in public health, wanted me to become a doctor. My uncle’s a lawyer who thought I’d make a good lawyer too. My previous boss loved the IT industry, so was always mentioning IT opportunities to me. Their advice was all reasonable, just not the right for me. What ended up being right for me is what I do now, which is based on my own view of myself and what kind of success I want to achieve for my career and in my life.

I recently posted another Zhihu article, How A Person With No Passion In His Career Pursued And Found His Passion <How A Person With No Passion In His Career Pursued And Found His Passion> (English version is below Chinese version). In it, I highlighted a few other key things that will help you find what you really want to do. For instance, leaving what you have no passion for, talking to as many people as you can, overcoming “the fear”, and enjoying the journey. In the end, there are no magic answers, no quick and easy processes for getting into the right career situation for yourself. It’s a result of the overall career decisions and specific job choices you make, and your determination to pursue what’s most suited for you.

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写在转行20年后：这样才能找到你热爱的事业！

我特别幸运。热情，投入和有意义。这几个词我用来概括我过去22年一直在做的事情。每当谈论起我做的事，就是帮助别人追求和获得职业成功，我都会简单直白地告诉他们：我注定要做这一行。

但一开始，我并没有从事我现在的工作。我的职业生涯的头10年（算上我读大学的时间），我对我做的事情毫无热情，也不投入。我学的是机械工程，毕业后入职一家大型玩具公司（Mattel）当研发设计工程师。其实，对很多人而言，做研发，做工程设计，制造玩具都是不错的职业选择。可我除外。

因此，我开始寻找能让我更享受其中的事情，但在当时，我毫无头绪。八年后，我终于找到了这件事。在我的寻找过程中，我做了几件很重要的事情，在本文最后附上的文章中我专门写了这些事。不过在这里，我主要想强调两大点。

1) 三大要素——要问我做过最重要的事情是什么？我想说，是走上一条与我的关注点和兴趣点最为契合的道路。在职业生涯早期，想要确认自己究竟想做什么，这几乎是不可能的。你初出茅庐，哪懂什么叫现实？你没什么经验，没接触过什么事情，哪能知道有多少种可能，有多少种选择？哪能知道某件事到底是怎样的？

所以，我仔细思考了在未来工作或职业中最希望出现的三件事，并将其称为“三大要素”。确定好这些要素并铭记于脑海，你就能避免不感兴趣的、对你没多大意义的工作和职业，更好地追逐你感兴趣的、觉得有意义的工作。

例如，在我二十五岁时，我为自己确定了这三大要素。

1) 商务——尽管当时我还不太了解这个词，但与工程制造相比，我对商务的兴趣要大得多。我非常喜欢做有益于他人的事情，为他人提供价值。我对做成这件事所需的其他事情也很感兴趣，例如领导力、战略思维、市场营销等。

2) 帮助他人——身为一个研发设计工程师，大多数时候，我都坐在电脑前。我不想过这种生活。虽然当时我很羞涩，但我还是喜欢和人交流，激励他人，表现出最好的自己。因此，无论我以后想从事何种职业，我都希望这份职业能涉及与人交往，以及影响他人人生的事情。

3) 中国——我之前写过这一点，但我的首次中国行改变了我的人生。我一直称这次旅行为“觉醒之旅”。在这次旅行中，我感受到身为中国人内心涌动的骄傲、感激和谦逊之情。这是我以前在美国从没感受到过的。虽然那时我还不会说普通话，对中国社会和文化也知之甚少，但我知道，在未来的某一天，我想参与到这个国家的发展中去。

我花了几个月的时间苦思冥想，扪心自问，最后终于确定了这三大要素。明确了这三大要素后，我更加明白了哪些事情对我最为重要，哪条道路才是我未来想要前进的方向。回顾我这二十几年的职业生涯，你会发现，在我做的每个工作举措和职业决定中，你都能看到这三大要素的身影。

因为我把它们铭记于心，所以我拒绝了工资更高，头衔更响亮，但归根结底还是不适合我的工作。反而那些从前我从不觉得会感兴趣，甚至考虑都不考虑的工作，恰恰因为这三大要素进入了我的视线，在我选择工作和公司时帮了我一把。创业并投身于人才招聘行业二十余年，这便是很好的例证。事实说明，这与我的三大要素相当契合。

因此我的建议是：想一想你最希望今后的职业生涯涉及哪些事情，然后根据这些事情确定好三大要素。

2) 他们不是你！——人们之所以落入不适合自己的工作和职业生涯，一大原因就是因为听信了其他人的建议。这些人常常是你的父母、亲戚、老师、朋友或同事。他们也确实关心你的成功和幸福，在给职业建议时也是真心真意的。

在倾听职业建议时，要怀抱开放的心态，感激关心你成功和未来的所有人。但与此同时，你还得记住：他们不是你。首先，你应该比所有人更了解你自己，尤其是个人喜好，享受做什么，不享受什么，关心什么，不关心什么。工作和职业建议没有好坏对错之分，它们只与你看重的事情有关。

第二，给职业建议很容易，但采取了别人的建议后，你发现这是个错误的选择，怎么办？要去做这份你不喜欢的工作，进这家你不喜欢的公司，每天做自己不喜欢的事情的人不是他们，是你。他们只会说：“好吧，我可能想错了。”听信了他们的建议，做出了错误的选择，承担后果的是你，不是他们。

最后一点，没人逼你一定要做某份工作，从事某份职业。这些都是你的选择。因此，要想最终能选到做自己喜欢做的事情，那就成熟起来，明白一个道理——这是你的职业，这是你的责任。不要根据别人的观点泽野，要选择自己认为适合自己的工作和职业。

拿我自己举例，我的父亲是个工程师，他希望我也能当个工程师，因此，我选择了这条路。另外，我母亲从事的工作与公共健康相关，她希望我当名医生。我叔叔是位律师，他觉得我以后也能当个好律师。我的前任老板热爱IT行业，所以他总是在我面前说IT行业有多么多的机会。他们的建议都是有道理的，只不过都不适合我。

最近我在一个文章里写了“年轻时找不到自己的热情所在，怎么办？”（年轻时找不到自己的热情所在，怎么办？）。在那个回答中，我强调了能帮你找到真正想做之事的其他几个关键要素，比如“没有热情，就大胆离开”，“与尽可能多的人交流”，“克服恐惧”和“享受旅程”。最后我想说，找到最适合的职业情形并没有完美答案，也没有捷径和小窍门。它源于一次又一次的整体职业决定和一个又一个工作决定，还有一份渴望追逐最适合自己的事情的坚定决心。