How Employers Can Create Safe Spaces for Victims of Domestic Violence

Three years ago today, while my fiancé was out of town, I gathered a few loved ones at my home to pack up my belongings and help me disappear. While my departure was a long time coming, the feeling of readiness only came nine days before. Sharing my truth about the chaos I had been living in for years was shocking to many, as I worked myself to the bone to keep up appearances. To admit that I was living with a drug-addicted, controlling narcissist who was emotionally, verbally, financially and physically abusive felt like a weight off my chest, but it was a new burden for those around me.

At the time, my significant other was a client of the company where I was employed. Their building wasn't yet equipped with key card access systems the way it is now. Unfortunately, this presented a risk to my own and my coworkers' safety given the person I left was unhinged at best. It felt necessary to selectively share what was going on with my supervisor, human resources, the agent who managed my significant other's account and the administration team. They were absolutely floored that something like this happened to someone like me. They had no idea, and I don't blame them because I made every effort to keep work my safe space, separate from my home.

Appropriate measures were taken to ensure incoming calls for me were screened, I started parking in a more visible area and my company was accommodating with needing some time off. Every person was nothing but kind and compassionate when it came to my situation, which I appreciated. In some ways maybe kinder than I needed them to be, which included some people sharing the situation with others in the office, as a way to "minimize office gossip" and "give me an advocate." That felt weird, but the intentions were good. Work still felt like a safe place, and even after leaving the company, I consider it one of the best places I've ever worked. Without having a strict policy around the topic in place, they still managed my situation with a lot of grace and respect.

Since then, I've done a lot of healing, gone to a lot of therapy and become more active as an advocate for victims of domestic violence. That being said, I can't help but wonder how workplaces can be even more prepared to support people like me, or worse.

“Domestic violence and sexual assault walk in the doors of each and every workplace every day here in the United States,” said Kim Wells, executive director of the?Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence, a national nonprofit organization based in Bloomington, Ill. “Domestic violence robs our employees of their dignity and their health, and these issues hide in darkness until we bring them into the light.”

Let's include domestic abuse and intimate partner violence in our bigger conversation around employee wellness.

Safety from abuse is a basic human right and policies that foster the protection of employees from domestic violence and help supervisors and human resources identify at-risk employees sooner is really a necessity. Sure, many organizations have Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) as part of their benefits package, which is great. But, with 1 in 4 women and 1 in 17 men experiencing intimate partner violence in their lifetime, it's probably more prevalent among workplaces than we realize. So, why don't we hear about it?

Victims are unlikely to disclose their abuse at work.

Anecdotally (and personally), victims fear judgment from their employer or colleagues if they speak up about experiencing domestic violence. In abusive relationships, finances can be a strong manipulation tool, often in an attempt to get victims to rely on their abuser. If a victim does have a means of income, it could be part of building a safety plan so they can leave. Job security can be vital not just for the sake of a paycheck, but sometimes work is the one space a victim feels safe. The potential consequence of disclosing to their employer and facing any kind of backlash just doesn't feel worth it.

Many victims carry a sense of shame or guilt for the abuse they experience to begin with. Regardless of potential backlash from the employer or the abuser, a victim may simply not speak up to their employer because what's the point? They may feel it's useless to disclose to an employer because what good - if anything - could really come from doing so?

If victims are unlikely to disclose, how can employers identify workers who may be unsafe?

First, it's important to remember that domestic abuse doesn't always manifest explicitly. Of course, there are obvious signs like bruises and injuries. Employees may also make attempts to hide such injuries by wearing long sleeves, sunglasses or other accessories at inappropriate times.

But there's more to domestic violence than physical abuse. It also includes verbal abuse, emotional abuse, financial control, isolation, intimidation, threats, stalking and sexual abuse. So, what does that look like in the workplace?

Employees who are victims of domestic violence could arrive late for their shift, display signs of stress or anxiety, startle easily, have increasing or excessive absences/need to leave early, struggle to focus and show a decrease in productivity or performance. There may even be disruptions from their partner.

How should employers broach such an uncomfortable topic with employees?

As part of any company's overall risk management, safety and wellness planning and initiatives, discussion of domestic violence should start at onboarding. Employee training materials or handbooks should include the contact information of a human resources professional designated to handle such issues (side note: let's get that HR professional proper training). It's also wise to include other internal resources like an EAP, as well as external resources like national or local domestic violence shelters, advocacy groups, etc.

But don't stop at onboarding. Keep similar resources top-of-mind by including them in the kitchen, bathrooms, or bulletin board you post other compliance documentation. In a remote work environment, these resources can live in an online portal. Ideally, your company formalizes a domestic violence policy. Such a policy should blatantly outline that your workplace is a safe place that is free of fear, threats and violence. It should state that your organization will effectively and efficiently respond to any threats. It's also worth considering making resources and accommodations available to employees needing assistance as it pertains to domestic violence situations.

Similar to hosting company-wide presentations related to financial, physical, or mental wellness, companies could consider bringing in a speaker from a local domestic violence shelter or advocacy group to educate your team on what domestic violence is, how to notice warning signs, how to respond to victim disclosures, and how to seek help themselves.

Most companies at minimum have annual reviews with every employee. It might serve as an opportunity to check in with each employee, regardless of any warning signs. Questions like, "Are you feeling safe in the workplace and at home?" "Are there ways we could create a safer workplace environment?" could be a starting point. Employees should always be reassured that discussions are confidential, unless there's an immediate risk of safety or need to comply with the law. In some cases, a victim's safety plan and exit strategy could be significantly positively impacted if they know their employer supports them.

If an employee chooses to confide, what can employers do?

Sharing resources and information to everyone is great, but what can a company really do for a victim if they disclose their domestic violence situation? A workplace safety plan should be individualized and developed based on the circumstances of that employee. Do not assume you know the best way to mitigate violence from their abuser.

Discuss logistics with the employee. It's possible that changing which branch they work at, where they sit in the office, or where they park could have an impact on how safe they feel from their abuser. Ask them for contact information and a photo of the abuser, so that you can share with security, reception or other relevant staff. If the employee has a protection order against their abuser, ask for a copy of that too. Unfortunately, safety from abuse is not a qualifying event to change benefits plans most of the time. But, if possible, ask the employee if there are any changes they would like to make to their benefits plan.

Offer reasonable accommodations or assistance. At this time, there is no federal law that permits victims of domestic violence time off to deal with it. FMLA could apply if the employee or their child suffered physical or psychological trauma from domestic violence, but FMLA leave has limitations and only applies to certain organizations. Offering time off or flexibility in their schedule can be valuable so they can attend legal proceedings or meetings, counseling, find housing, or make other safety arrangements. Perhaps a designated escort walking them to and from their vehicle could help too.

Protect their information. Keep details of their safety plans or accommodations on a need-to-know basis. Determine a protocol for screening visitors or phone calls, as to prevent unwanted or unsafe communication for the employee. Remove their information from the company website and block their abuser from accessing company social media profiles.

If you need to make a business case for why we should prioritize safety for victims of domestic violence in the workplace:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that more than 10 million adults experience domestic violence every year. Even if this doesn't seem like an apparent concern within your organization, it likely is below the surface, especially since victims are unlikely to disclose to their employer. When it comes to the bottom line, employers can't afford to ignore domestic violence. According to the CDC, victims of domestic violence lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year, which is equivalent to more than 32,000 full-time jobs.

Domestic violence can also find an intersection at a victim's place of employment. In a study conducted by the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, between 2005-2008 alone, more than 25% of women murdered in the workplace were killed by a current or former intimate partner. It's possible a company could face workers' compensation claims should an abuser arrive on site and do harm to any employees. The same study mentioned that more than half of workplace homicides by intimate partners took place in parking lots and public buildings. Other insurance claims are also possible should an abuser cause damage to the company property itself. No matter how you slice it, domestic violence impacts company productivity, morale and profitability.

Make your company a safe space for victims of domestic violence

It's worthwhile for conversations around domestic violence to be present in your organization. From implementing policies around intervention and support for managers and human resources to educating employees during onboarding and through regular communications, we can create safer workplaces, improve morale and combat domestic violence on a greater level.

If you or someone you know may be in an abusive relationship and need help, contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline on their website, by phone (1-800-799-SAFE) or text START to 88788.