How To Be An Empathetic Listener In Meetings With Time Constraints (Q&A)

One of the most frequently asked questions posed by the members of the Conscious Business Friends Group during our live teleclasses is, "How does one be an empathetic listener in meetings when they have time constraints?" 

Listening takes time. Rather than think about the time of the meeting I would rather ask, “what is the purpose of the meeting?” If you are trying to cram too much in a very short time you are not going to accomplish the goal either way. An important conversation requires a tempo, some reflection, some consideration of the multiple perspectives, some way to show respect for one another by understanding the problem together before trying to solve it. There are moments in which that’s not possible – where it is a crisis and there are decisions that have to be made fast. My experience is if in those moments, people feel the context of care and relationship that has been built when there was not a time crunch, then it is very possible for a leader to say in a crisis “I need your support. I want to make an executive even though I have no data, because I think no decision or waiting is worse than trying. I know I am taking a bet. I know I can’t listen to all the opportunities here, but I’d like your support and then we can reflect about it.”

When you act with that kind of haste, you have a dual debt. One you have to pay in advance. The debt you have to pay in advance is to create context with your team such that when push comes to shove and you have to act that fast, no one will feel hurt by that. And the second debt is after you make this decision you must reflect with your people. How did it go? What could you do better? And you have to explain very carefully that you are not making the decision with speed because you don’t care about others’ opinions; but because you feel in a crunch. You feel this situation merits an immediate response, and delaying the answer to have a conversation could be counterproductive.

For example, if you are in a sailing race, you have have to make decisions really fast. But the team who is going to sail the boat spends a lot of time in advance preparing for that moment. Equally, the team spends a lot of time afterwards reflecting on what happened in the race and how they can do it next time.

I don’t know how it’s possible to manage consciously without investing that time before and after, even if in the moment of the meeting you cannot afford to listen that carefully.

These thoughts are shared in the video below as well:

Should you have any difficulty viewing the video please click here to view on Fred's slideshare page.

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Fred Kofman is Vice President Of Leadership and Organizational Development at Linkedin. Follow Fred Kofman on LinkedIn here. To stay connected and get updates please visit Conscious Business Academy and join our Conscious Business Friends group.