How to Be an Empathetic Leader

As our world continues to change, rapidly what remains the same is the need for leaders to be empathetic. While empathy has always been a key trait for a successful leader, it is even more important today. Empathetic leaders can understand and share the feelings of others, allowing them to build strong relationships, foster collaboration, and create a positive work environment. People are facing more challenges in their lives today than ever before while many organizations have leaders with little or no experience of what it takes to lead during difficult times. The dictionary describes empathy as the ability to feel what another person is feeling. To be able to do so, leaders require a frame of reference and many do not have that frame of reference. Organizations employing people have a responsibility to do their best to play a part in helping employees be whole. While no organization is expected to take full responsibility for employees' lives, those organizations that do prioritize their employee's well-being reap the benefits of a more engaged, committed, and loyal workforce. A March 2023 Deloitte study showed that empathy has become increasingly more important as many workplaces transition to a hybrid environment and that a manager's emotional intelligence and empathy were ranked in the survey of 1,274 employees as the most critical elements in fostering stronger ways of working in a hybrid environment. With this in mind, if you are a leader seeking to be more empathetic you should:?

Be In-tuned to Your Own Feelings: Empathetic leadership starts with a leader being aware of his or her feelings. Great leaders have their pulse on their own emotions, biases, areas for improvement, and strengths. Understanding their own emotions will allow a leader to role model behaviors that help employees feel psychologically safe in the workplace. Individuals in-tuned with their own emotions will also be better at empathizing with the feelings and experiences of others. Leaders can start to cultivate a stronger focus on showing empathy in the workplace by being deliberate about self-care. This could include acts such as practicing mindfulness, pausing daily for gratitude, and taking time to strategically seek ways to be more present in and out of the workplace. Self-awareness can also be achieved through active listening and seeking feedback. Giving employees undivided attention and asking questions, in a non-judgmental way, will build trust and foster an environment of openness.

Being deliberate about showing employees that their feelings are valuable and that there is a real interest in listening and absorbing what is being shared, will go a long way in helping the employee feel valued and appreciated. One question that sometimes arises from leaders is: “How can I be a better leader?” This question is usually focused on the business. The focus being intentionally on how to increase revenue, how to get the right visibility to senior leaders, and how to make a difference in the organization and the community. Too many leaders do not consider their ability to effectively lead their teams as an important factor in how they measure their success. When I've had the opportunity to mentor and coach leaders, I take the time to probe and attempt to learn about their ability to effectively lead a team, and I sometimes find myself reminding leaders that employees are looking to them to demonstrate what good looks like and therefore it is important to be self-aware and be deliberate about showing employees how they are feeling. Some leaders make the mistake of pointing to others in the workplace as role models and not being deliberate about role-modeling behaviors themselves. Leadership starts with role modeling and some of the ways that leaders can increase their empathetic capabilities is by being vulnerable and showing employees that they too have feelings and that the employee's feelings are valid and accepted.?

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelo?

Be a Champion of Inclusion, Diversity, and Equity: Empathetic leaders create an inclusive environment where everyone can feel valued, heard, respected, and appreciated. A leader who is deliberate about embracing all employees will gain support and earn the trust of their employees. Employees will feel safe and secure in a working environment where a leader actively removes biases from business practices and does not tolerate inequality of any kind. Great leaders surround themselves with diverse talent and do not stop only at hiring underrepresented groups. A leader with a diverse mindset spends time getting to know employees that represent a group he or she knows little about. In addition to a deliberate focus on inclusion, empathetic leaders ensure that others in the organization are behaving in ways that include all employees, develop and promote underrepresented employees and celebrate employee wins consistently, across all employee groups. Fostering an environment that ensures employees can feel included and accepted will drive engagement, retention, and an overall sense of belonging. Employees who feel that they belong will work harder to stay on the team and support the leader's success, therefore building a stronger organization.

One of Maya Angelo's famous quotes is "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." When people think about how others have made them feel over the years, it stands out. There are very specific details that go along with feelings and therefore leaders must always be self-aware. Empathetic leaders actively promote diversity and embrace different perspectives. This involves creating opportunities for diverse voices to be heard, encouraging collaboration, and ensuring fair treatment for all employees. Brene Brown was quoted as saying "True belonging doesn't require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are". By fostering an inclusive environment, leaders allow employees to be themselves, which cultivates a sense of belonging and trust among their teams.

Leaders seeking to increase the diversity of their teams should know the numbers. What percentage of the employee population matches the customer demographics? How far off are the organization's diversity numbers from the industry? Having those answers can help the leader set goals to increase diverse representation in the organization. When setting goals to improve inclusion, equity, and diversity, it is important to set bold goals, communicate them to all employees, and ask all employees to play a role in achieving the success of the goals. Involving the employee population will help hold leaders accountable and also very clearly inform employees of the organization's stance and intentions. Empathetic leaders employ diverse perspectives and are actively seeking ways to learn about, support, and empower various groups of people.?

“True belonging doesn't require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are" Brene Brown?

Show That You Really Care: If empathy is a check-the-box exercise it will become evident to employees. People can sense when an individual is being genuine in their actions and will quickly recognize leadership behaviors that feign authenticity. Empathy is built upon the ability to see things from another person's perspective. Empathetic leaders practice perspective-taking by imagining themselves in someone else's shoes and understanding their experiences, challenges, and emotions. This enables leaders to make more informed decisions, offer appropriate support, and address individual needs effectively. Empathetic leaders genuinely care about the well-being of their employees. They invest the time necessary to make personal connections with individuals.

Leaders seeking to better understand their team should spend time learning about employee's aspirations, and provide support and the guidance necessary for their development. Not every employee aspiration is realistic and therefore the leader will need time to be prepared to provide feedback that resets expectations. Regular check-ins also help leaders learn more about their employees, provide meaningful feedback, reset expectations, and support the employee's journey toward a realistic career goal. Professional advancement comes in different forms and through regular two-way communication, the employee-leader relationship will no doubt be strengthened. By showing genuine care about, and support for employee’s development, leaders foster a sense of trust and loyalty within their teams.

There is so much more to a person than their role within an organization. Leaders are encouraged to also be curious, and ask the right questions. How an employee is doing is an important question, which is many times met with "I am fine", a leader could accept that and move on to addressing the most critical item for the business for that period of time. Many employees seek a leader who can recognize where they are holding back and need additional probing. Therefore, a leader might ask questions such as "How are you feeling today?" "Is there anything that you need from me?" "How can I help you?". These questions will inspire a different response. Showing the human side, and mixing curiosity with an ability to express feelings, will go a long way for employees. Though there might be something very important going on in the business, leaders should seek to be open to rescheduling meetings, ending some early, or repurposing a meeting to focus on a personal employee topic, if and when the need arises. It could make a big difference for one individual, and it can also extend beyond that individual. Pausing to recognize and acknowledge feelings, will help leaders address opportunities for improvement. Empathy is the capacity to place oneself in another's position. Take the time to learn about each employee, placing oneself in their shoes.?

Leaders have a business to run, and it is a reality that there is a need to meet and exceed company metrics. However, pausing to show empathy, taking the time to be the leader that put employees first, and a leader that takes the time to understand their people, will go a long way. It will also strengthen the workforce, increase the value employees put on their role in the organization, and build trusting and loyal employees. Empathetic leadership is about leading by example and practicing what is preached. Strong leaders embody empathy in their actions and take the time to inspire others to do the same. Role modeling empathy involves open and clear communication, being vulnerable, and being authentic, especially when the stakes are high. Leading by example reinforces the importance of empathy in the workplace and sets the tone for a more diverse, positive, open, and caring organizational culture. The best leaders are empathetic; they are self-aware, inclusive and always pause to show that they care. A leader who cultivates these qualities creates a workplace where empathy thrives, relationships are valued, collaboration is the norm, and overall the organization is successful.?

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