How Emotional Intelligence Shapes Our Success

This month we’ll delve into the topic of emotional intelligence (EI), unpacking what it is, how it impacts our personal and professional lives and how we can cultivate it more.

The concept of emotional intelligence, or emotional quotient (EQ), was first introduced by Daniel Goleman in the mid-90s. He defined it as ‘the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.’ Goleman identified 5 key elements of emotional intelligence:

Goleman's research challenged the idea that intelligence quotient (IQ) is the sole predictor of success in life and work. He found that EQ is equally important. In fact, about 90% of the difference in performance between top and average professionals in senior leadership roles was due to EQ rather than technical skills (like financial analysis or computer programming) or cognitive abilities (like logical reasoning or big picture thinking).

Studies have shown that high EQ levels correlate with high levels of relationship satisfaction, happiness, and wellbeing. Here are some ways EQ can benefit you at work:

• Having good awareness of ourselves translates in the ability to make sound decisions. Furthermore, the awareness of our weaknesses is the necessary step towards identifying learning opportunities which can further our career. Acknowledging our development areas also has the benefit of establishing trust and transparency with our colleagues.

‘Every advance, every achievement of mankind, has been connected with an advance in self-awareness.’ (Carl Jung)

• Being able to manage our emotions and behaviours means being able to better articulate our response so that it is impactful and has a positive impact on others. Whilst we all have emotions, all the time, it is important to manage these so that we do not act impulsively. Over time, this results in a greater ability to manage stress and build resilience.

‘Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.’ (Viktor E. Frankl)

• Having strong motivation to achieve a goal means taking initiative, remaining focused and being able to keep momentum and persevere when the going gets tough. Being effective at this can foster positivity, energy and confidence and therefore be a source of inspiration for others.

‘It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.’ (Confucius)

• Being empathetic means being able to put ourselves into other people’s shoes, through active listening, ideally with all our senses so that we pay attention to what people say and how they say it (i.e. tone of voice and body language). Empathy allows us to see a situation from multiple perspectives, which then translates in our ability to make objective decisions and find agreement with others. This in turn further reinforces mutual trust as well as employee engagement.

‘When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.’ (Ernest Hemingway)

• Being able to navigate social situations means knowing how to communicate effectively with others by adjusting our style and being able to build strong relationships that foster collaboration. It is also being able to positively influence the decisions and emotions of others, including successfully managing conflict.

‘If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.’ (Nelson Mandela)

The great news is that our EQ levels are not fixed. In fact, anyone can become more emotionally intelligent. Some of the actions and behaviours that can contribute to strengthening one’s EQ include:

• Finding time for self-reflection and journaling
• Understanding what our values are so we can ensure our decisions align with how we want to live
• Improving emotional literacy by learning to correctly label our feelings
• Being curious about ourselves and others
• Practising giving and receiving constructive feedback
• Speaking up more to share our views and productively challenge others
• Pausing before reacting to someone else’s behaviour and taking time to respond thoughtfully when questioned
• Seeking coaching to understand and regulate our emotions and behaviours for positive impact

In conclusion, emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in both personal and professional success. By cultivating self awareness, self management, motivation, empathy, and social skills, we can enhance our relationships, improve our decision-making, and increase our overall wellbeing. The ability to develop and strengthen our EQ offers a powerful tool for achieving our goals and creating more supportive, productive, and harmonious environments at work and in our personal lives.

Ready to take your emotional intelligence to the next level? Let's explore how you can apply these principles to achieve greater success and fulfillment in your personal and professional life. Book your free introductory call to find out more about how we can work together.

References

Chamorro-Premuzic, T (2013) Can you really improve your emotional intelligence? Harvard Business Review. Available from: https://hbr.org/2013/05/can-you-really-improve-your-em

David, S (2017) Emotional agility: get unstuck, embrace change and thrive in work and life. London: Penguin Random House.

Goleman, D (1996) Emotional intelligence: why it can matter more than IQ. London: Bloomsbury Publishing.

Goleman D (2004 Jan) What makes a leader? Harvard Business Review. Available from: https://hbr.org/2004/01/what-makes-a-leader

Landry L (2019) Emotional intelligence skills: what they are & how to develop them. Harvard Business Review. Available from: https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/emotional-intelligence-skills

Reilly C (2023) Is your emotional intelligence affecting your wellbeing? Forbes. Available from: https://www.forbes.com/sites/colleenreilly/2023/06/20/is-your-emotional-intelligence-affecting-your-wellbeing/

Sepp?l? E (2024) Three exercises to boost your emotional intelligence, according to research. Harvard Business Review. Available from: https://hbr.org/2024/06/3-exercises-to-boost-your-emotional-intelligence-according-to-research