How Emotional Intelligence can really make the difference to your Leadership

This newsletter explores the Five Pillars of Authentic Leadership & this edition explores the power of Emotional Intelligence. We will explore why Emotional Intelligence is so key to Leadership & focus on how it enables leaders to always have the impact that they want to have with their teams.

Why is Emotional Intelligence so important in Leadership?

Emotional Intelligence is how you choose your attitudes & behaviours & be your best version of you. And it will get you further in life than anything else.

Why?

Because it develops the key capabilities that make Leadership something that has a positive impact on the leader themselves & those around them: -

• Self-awareness - how leaders recognise & understand their thoughts & feelings. Leaders with heightened self-awareness are able to consider the impact they want to have on others & tune into how they are coming across. Self-aware leaders role model what they want from others.
• Self-management - this means leaders understand why they are thinking are particular way & they they are experiencing the emotions they have & understand what their triggers are. When leaders can self-manage, it prevents them from taking out their bad moods on others & their attitudes & behaviours are consistent.
• Social-awareness - perhaps the crown jewels in Emotional Intelligence as with social awareness, comes a leader's ability to recognise & understand the emotions of others. Social aware leaders are those who give feedback that speaks to the DNA of others & are the leaders who really take the time to get to know their team, what motivates them & what they need from them as a leader. The socially aware leaders that you have worked with are the ones who can 'read the room', get to know their audience & tailor their communication to positively land with & influence others.
• Relationship Management - this supercharges leaders ability to build value-adding relationships. This is where leaders go beyond boss & subordinate. Empathy lives here as does building trust. When you have leaders that build excel at managing their relationships, you have high performing teams.

When you put all of those abilities together, it releases the greatest power we have as a human being which is being able to choose how you positively respond to your thoughts & feelings.

Imagine an organisation being full of leaders who demonstrate those abilities & the impact it would have on your teams? Typical outcomes you see from developing emotionally intelligent leaders include: -

• Effective feedback becomes part of your culture
• Leaders set the tone through role model leadership
• Leaders hold people accountable for their attitudes & behaviours
• Leaders build their team culture
• Leaders delegate
• Leaders develop their teams
• Leaders have the difficult conversations
• Leaders walk the walk & do what they say they are going to do

The worst leaders are the ones who eschew Emotional Intelligence & instead spend their days working on autopilot & going about their business reacting to their thoughts & feelings. When you remember that leaders are humans who, like us all, will have some negative thoughts & feelings, you start to get the picture of how when leaders lack Emotional Intelligence, you have an organisation full of leaders who lose their temper, patronise people, ruin relationships & try to do too much themselves.

Choose how you want to respond in-the-moment

Where you really see the importance of Emotional Intelligence & those capabilities combined is in how leaders choose how to positively respond to their thoughts & feelings so they are always in control of what comes of their gobs.

The impact of leaders comes from their interactions with others & what they choose to say can make or ruin your organisational culture. As humans, we are all always working on the cycle of Think-Feel-Do which means in their interactions with others, your leaders are thinking & feeling something & then doing something as a result of what they think & feel. Where Emotional Intelligence makes a massive difference to leaders is how it helps them to choose what they do as a result of their thoughts & feelings.

Do you know what you're really saying?

Let's look at a specific area of Emotional Intelligence where its capabilities combine to give leaders the ability to have the positive impact they want to have. This comes in knowing what you're saying & choosing to only speak your Informed Thoughts.

Remember that the only thing in your control is how you deal with you

What we say is a result of our thoughts & feelings. Emotionally Intelligent leaders are able to make what they say a combination of their Formed & Informed Thoughts. As humans, it is much easier to simply say what we are thinking & feeling but without developing our Emotional Intelligence, that often doesn't lead to a positive impact.

Here is what you typically get from leaders who only speak their Reactive Thoughts: -

• Micromanagement
• Ignorance
• Cynical feedback
• Lack of empowerment
• Disengaged teams
• Broken trust
• Over reliance on e-mail

This is because when we simply speak our thoughts, it lacks the consideration of how you want to come across & the relationship you have with the other person. People want to avoid leaders who only speak their Reactive Thoughts because they expect to be chastised for what they ask about & anticipate the leader not really listening to them.

When leaders choose to speak their Formed Thoughts, they show that they are listening & they live up to what they stand for. People want to engage with these leaders because they expect them to role model positive attitudes & behaviours. This is where you will see leaders facilitate effective meetings as they consider what they want to get from the conversation & how they want to come across to others.

Leaders who go the extra step & choose how to speak their Informed Thoughts are the ones who stand out & who others want to follow. This is where Leadership really comes to life & leaders build strong relationships & trust. Others recognise that what Leaders are saying when they speak their Informed Thoughts is that they understand them & are looking at things from their perspective. People appreciate others responding to what they have said & when that comes from Leaders, the gratitude is multiplied. Imagine how much better people's 121's are when the leader is responding to what is said in-the-moment rather than simply following a form & ticking a box?

To stay positive as a leader, have a positive mindset focused on learning. Don't dwell on things you can't control

Developing emotional intelligent leaders is how you enable them to speak their Informed Thoughts & have the impact that you want from your leaders.

• How can you speaking your Informed Thoughts help you as a leader?
• What do you need to do to be less reactive in what you say?
• What problems are your Reactive Thoughts causing for you as a leader?
• What do you need to do to be a more emotionally intelligent leader?

Spend some time today looking at our interactions with others & consider what your Formed & Informed Thoughts need to be & how you will make sure that you speak them to others.

Get in touch via my profile to arrange a call to discuss how developing emotionally intelligent leaders will help you & your organisation.