How Embracing Your True Identity Can Propel You to Achieve Your Loftiest Goals
Amelia Mimi Brown, CSP
Motivational Speaker ● Transformational Leadership Coach ● TedX Speaker
?Have you ever found yourself staring at someone, wondering if they hold the secret to unlocking your true potential? I did, and it led to a revelation that changed how I view my goals and identity.?
“Hope I don’t look awkward staring like this. I’ve got to know if that’s her.”? I quickly jumped on my laptop, connected to the Wi-Fi, and typed in Ann Handley’s name.?
She looks like her – dark hair, warm glasses, short earrings, and that unmistakable smile.?
Not wanting to bother her, I started stuffing my face with the pork that the airport lounge had whipped up. But it kept nagging at me. I had to know.
?“Mimi, just ask I thought to myself,. What’s the worst she could say, no?”
?“Excuse me, I hate to bother you, but your name wouldn’t happen to be Ann Handley, would it?” She looked up, smiled, and said, “No, it’s Gina.” I felt my face flush. “Oh, you look like one of my favorite authors, Ann Handley ” I said, showing her Ann’s website on my phone. She paused, then asked a question I wasn’t prepared for: “Are you a writer?” I stuttered and stammered, muddling a barely audible, “Yes… I’ve written three books.” The uncertainty in my voice must have produced a confused look on her face, as if to say, “Are you sure you’ve written three books?” I smiled and repeated myself with fake confidence, not wanting to appear like I was lying. She responded, “Well, it sounds like you’re a writer.”
After a few moments of awkward pleasantries, she left the lounge, heading to catch her flight. Not until I got on my own flight did I really start to reflect on what had occurred. It was like I had some sort of identity crisis. The truth was, I was writing my next book – what I considered my “big book” – and I had been writing it, or rather “talking about” writing it, for well over three years. I felt like a fraud, not a real author, because my other three books were pocket-sized tip books. I wasn’t identifying as a writer because I kept telling myself I wasn’t a “real writer.” But until that moment, I had never defined what a real writer was. The bottom line: It wasn’t an identity crisis—it was a moment of truth, a realization that I needed to embrace my true potential and own my identity as a writer. Maybe you’ve been there before. You’ve set a lofty goal, like running a marathon, hitting a certain salary, or landing your dream position with the salary to match.
?As James Clear says in his book Atomic Habits, “The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner. The goal is not to read a book, the goal is to become a reader. The goal is not to learn an instrument, the goal is to become a musician. This year, focus on the identity you want to build” . Belief is at the center of this.
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Next is identity, defined as your thoughts, actions, and state of being aligning with what you most desire. Clear emphasizes that your current behaviors are simply a reflection of your current identity. To change your behavior for good, you need to start believing new things about yourself and prove it to yourself with small wins . When doubt kicks in, you must ask yourself: What would a person who holds that goal do? For example, what would a marathon runner do? Here are four powerful ways to get your identity in alignment with your goals:?
1. Visualize and Embody Success: The Mirror Technique Imagine the person you want to become and start acting as if you are already that person. This isn’t just about faking it till you make it—it’s about truly visualizing yourself as successful and making decisions from that mindset. Keep a mirror at your desk and before stepping into your next virtual meeting, repeat an affirmation related to this identity. Examples include: ? “I am a confident communicator.” ? “I am a decisive leader.” ? “I inspire and motivate others.”
?2. Create Your Brag Squad: Surround Yourself with Success Your environment significantly influences your growth. Curate a “Brag Squad,” a group of trusted individuals with whom you can share your wins related to this new identity. These are people who believe in your potential and hold you to your highest good. Engage in regular check-ins with your Brag Squad, share your progress, celebrate achievements together, and provide mutual support. This squad could include mentors, peers, or close friends who reflect the identity you aspire to. In my mastermind group, we meet every two weeks to share our wins, celebrate each other, and discuss any challenges we’re facing. It’s powerful. They don’t allow me to hide. We always start with our wins, achievements we’re proud of.
?3. Celebrate Small Wins: The Momentum Method Consistency is key. Reinforce your identity through daily affirmations and actions. Set up a weekly appointment with yourself to reflect on your achievements from the past week. Capture all your wins, big and small, in a journal or digital document. This could be anything from completing a task ahead of schedule to receiving positive feedback. Celebrating these small victories helps to build momentum and solidify your new identity. Additionally, share these wins with your Brag Squad for added reinforcement and encouragement .
?4. Engage with Role Models: The Influence Strategy Immerse yourself in environments and communities that reflect the identity you aspire to. Join professional associations, groups, or organizations that embody the principles and skills you want to develop. Observe and emulate the behaviors of people who showcase the talents and skills you desire. Whether it’s an ERG lead at work, a local civic organization, or a professional group in your industry, engaging with these communities helps reinforce your new identity through exposure to positive role models.
Call to Action It’s time to step into your power and redefine your identity. Take a moment today to reflect on who you want to become and start aligning your actions with that vision. Share your goals with a trusted friend or mentor, and begin acting as if you are already that person. Believe in yourself, and the rest will follow.
What do you think of these enhancements? Any further adjustments or additions?
Igniting JOY in People, Companies, and Communities! I empower individuals to TAKE ACTION on their lives by embracing the art of slowing down to move forward with purpose. Speaker | Coach | Neurodiversity Advocate
6 个月It's those magical encounters with "angels!" Look at how your courage and her false identity created this brilliant AHA for you?! Love it! I would also add: When the Imposter Phenomenon hits, take a deep breath and move through it like your life depends on it! (because it does!)
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6 个月Great article Amelia Mimi Brown, CSP! The universe is always speaking to us. It’s amazing what we hear when taking a moment to reflect/liaten. Love this!
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6 个月Amelia Mimi Brown, CSP, you completely rock! I think accepting yourself in a particular identity helps so much in any aspect of your life. It makes decisions "thoughtless". I recently received a few numbers from my annual physical that I didn't like, so decide that from then on I was going to be a "healthy eater". It makes it a lot easier to say "no" when there is a full cookie jar on the counter, because a "healthy eater" doesn't grab a handful every time he walks past. We'll see in a few months if those numbers improve, but I know I'm headed in the right direction.
? Speaker ? Personal Brand Consultant ? Real Personal Branding Podcast ? Good communication of your ideas and your story can change the world ??
7 个月love Ann Handley's work, and love this story Amelia Mimi Brown, CSP!
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7 个月Always happy to see updates like this, Mimi Brown!!