How to Embrace the Pain of Change

The subject of change is complex, tricky, and paradoxical. As an executive coach, my experience has taught me that people are comfortable with the rhetoric of change and uncomfortable with its price – and I understand this behavior. For one, change is hard to implement for many reasons – the status quo, personal fears and limiting beliefs, society’s constructs, etc. All these factors make the change narrative difficult. Nonetheless, we must change, and that’s life.

The forces that work against change make the process painful. One force is the status quo. The predictability of the status quo is a safe space, and typically, people would fight anyone who tries to tamper with their sense of safety. Therefore, if you’re committed to change in any way, you must be ready for fights at different levels, and here are three principles to help you win.

No Pain, No Change: This is the mindset to have if you wish to implement change on a personal or corporate level. In their book, Reinvent Your Life, Dr. Jeffrey E. Young and Dr. Janet S. Klosko, said: “Change requires willingness to experience pain.” Your transformation journey will not be easy. You will have to surrender to the process by sacrificing familiar conveniences to secure a different future, and the process will mean that you endure some pain. Make peace with it.

Here, pain does not mean undue suffering, but calculated sacrifice. To succeed, you must sacrifice some things. The question is: what price are you willing to pay? How much pain are you willing to endure? Change will cost pain.

Build an Accountability System: Since change is generally tough, it’s not smart to do it alone. Find someone or a group to hold you accountable every step of the way. In the change process, your willpower is not enough, you need help to succeed. So, get a coach, find a therapist, look for a mentor or friend, who can help keep you on track. Successful change requires a team effort. You need help; don’t do change alone.

Plan Your Daily Routine: One of the biggest challenges in the change process is taking action daily. Some people agree to a change initiative, but don’t have the discipline to apply themselves daily. If you cannot commit to consistent action, change will not happen. The music guru, Dr. Pete Odera, said: “nothing changes if nothing changes.” Your ability to maintain a daily routine determines the success of your change effort. Change is action.

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Photo by: Jonas Von Werne