How to embrace being rejected...

"Thank you for your interest... We decided not to move forward with your application"

How does one reach such messages, I understand that it's a heartbreak, a lot of depressing thoughts run through the head of an individual.

Was I not good enough?

Is my enthusiasm not enough to at least get an interview?

As individuals, we need to accept that this outcome could have been a blessing in disguise as I didn't have to leave my family for a job abroad just to pursue this path.

I'm forever grateful to LinkedIn for providing a platform that has helped me discover what I really wanted to do in life so that even if I get rejected for it, I'd go for it no matter what.

This Napoleon Hill quote keeps me going:

"Every adversity, every failure, and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit"

I was watching this kickboxing movie where a fighter was fighting one-handed, and he was getting bashed, and his coach told him, "Don't fight according to your opponent change the fight according to you." And you will win...

“The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget; within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.”

Rejection can be uncomfortable and even downright painful. On the bright side, though, there are multiple benefits to hitting this emotional snag. As long as you approach it with the right attitude, rejection can bolster your confidence and develop your independence, as well as help you to recover from failure and disruption more quickly than before. The sooner you learn how to cope with rejection in a positive and productive manner, the sooner you'll start living a more rich and more varied life.

Processing Your Emotions

1.     Think about what rejection really means. The first step to getting over your fear of rejection is to consider the concept clearly and thoroughly. Ask yourself: what does it say about me when I get rejected? What feeling causes me the most discomfort when it happens? Once you've identified and sorted through your feelings about rejection, you can start to overcome it.

•  It can help to write about your feelings in order to organize your thoughts. If you already keep a journal or a blog, devote an entry to your reflection about rejection. If you have neither, jot down your thoughts in an old notebook.

2.    Remind yourself that rejection does not indicate failure. It's easy to confuse the two things because both feel so painful and personal but remember that they're actually different. Rejection is just an intermediate step on the road to success and not a finalized failure with no way out.

• Instead of focusing on rejection, try to focus on what you have learned in the process of pursuing your goal. How might you use what you have learned to help yourself grow?
• For example, if you received a rejection letter from your top pick for college, then you might try thinking about the application process you used. How might you improve upon it? Could you have someone proofread your entrance essay? Could you submit the application sooner? Try to identify as many things that you might do differently (even if only slightly) to improve your outcome in the future.

3.    Give yourself credit. Your fear will seem less insurmountable if you look at the process in a positive light. Whether you approached your crush or applied for a big promotion, remind yourself that it took guts to try it out in the first place. Applaud yourself for your bravery and initiative rather than reproaching yourself for how it turned out.

• Studies have shown that a good way to think about it is to assess your effort and not the result. Congratulate yourself on any effort you put a lot of time and energy into, regardless of whether it turned out as a success or failure. In the same way, dismiss any success or failure which you earned through half-hearted endeavors.
• If you need a reminder as to how brave it is to risk rejection, consider how many people quit due to the experience. Rejection is so scary because it's powerful, but this power also means that it takes out a lot of your competition.

Dealing with Rejection in Your Personal Life

1.     Develop your problem-solving skills. Problem-solving skills can help you to work through difficult situations in a methodical way, which can make them less stressful and also lead to a better outcome. Try to develop your problem-solving skills so that you feel better prepared for rejection in the future. Some things you can do to improve your problem-solving skills include:

• Writing out the problem in detail.
• Making a list of all of the solutions that are available to you.
• Analyzing your options to determine which solution is best.
• Choosing an option and following through with it.
• Reflecting on the outcome of the situation to determine if you made the right choice and using this information to improve your problem-solving skills in the future.

2.    Put yourself out there. Once you've reevaluated your feelings about rejection and are ready to take real steps toward overcoming your fear, find an activity that lets you ease into embracing it. Do little things that take you out of your comfort zone and your fears will start to fade.

• For example, if you're wanting to make new friends, start by signing up for a low-key group like a book club or gym.
• If you're wanting to start dating, give yourself small goals like approaching two strangers and talking to them for five minutes each time you go out with friends to a bar or club.

 3.    Set yourself up for rejection frequently. Oftentimes, the people who have the hardest time dealing with rejection are those who have a long history of personal and career-related success. They've received very little negative feedback over the course of their lives, so they find the experience especially jarring and hurtful. It follows then, that you can get better at getting rejected by getting rejected more often. The sting will fade over time as you stop expecting unadulterated praise and success at every turn.

• If you're on the dating scene, try high-intensity activities like speed dating or meeting up with matches from dating apps and sites. Such things can be nerve-wracking and awkward, but the heavy dose of patently superficial rejection will provide valuable practice in the art of rejection.
• If you're trying to expand your social circle, join a bunch of different clubs and groups, including those whose members you are unlikely to have much in common with. This will show you that it's not the end of the world when new friendships don't work out and you have to shake it off.

4.    Give yourself time. Even the most seasoned dater can reel from a hit from time to time, so don't beat yourself up if you're having a hard time coping. You're not weak or pathetic for feeling pain, so be nice to yourself and don't compound the injury from rejection with further self-abuse.

• You can treat your recovery as you would any other personal emotional setback. Do things that make you feel comfortable, pampered, and happy. Go out to a movie with your friends, order your favorite pizza, or treat yourself to a bubble bath.
• It can be particularly helpful to use the coping time to reunite and strengthen bonds with close friends. This reunion will help to rebuild your self-esteem while distracting you from the painful experience.

5.    Put a cap on the process. While you should analyze your experience in order to learn from it, you can't keep agonizing over it forever. Once you've given it some good thought, turn the page on the experience and move on.

• It can be especially tempting to overanalyze a personal rejection if it comes from the crush you've been obsessing over for weeks or someone you've been dating for a while. The problem with this is that there are too many factors that are out of your control and that you'll never understand, so it's counterproductive to remain preoccupied with it.

Handling Professional Rejection

 1.     Smart small. Taking professional risks can be scary and, consequently, hard to get yourself to do. It can help to remember that, just as Rome wasn't built in a day, your career won't skyrocket upward or plummet downward after a single success or pitfall. Buckle up for the long haul and start your journey by taking little steps.

• For example, if you're wanting to change jobs, register for a networking cocktail party or alumni event before you start handing out applications and taking interviews.
• If you'd like to throw your hat in the ring for a promotion, try asking for and taking on more responsibilities at work. Be up-front about the fact that you want to advance in the company, and the eventual application and interview can come around a lot more quickly.

 2.    Ask for honest feedback from teachers and coworkers. While at work or school, try to establish a culture among your friends and colleagues where you give each other honest and thorough feedback on your work. Even though you're not rejecting one another's work outright, you're practicing the feeling of hearing and processing assessments that are not unequivocally positive.

 3.    Question the consequences. Ask yourself what the worst thing that can happen is if you get rejected. Often times the dread of rejection is so strong that it seems like a bigger deal than it really is. Upon further reflection, you'll realize that the real-life implications of getting a professional rejection are not nearly so catastrophic as you had worried: no matter how much it stings, it's definitely not the end of the road.

• Try to envision the worst possible scenario. This can be scary at first, but once you follow the scenario through to its logical conclusion, you'll see that not getting the job or the promotion was not life-or-death.

4.    Don't just brush it off. It can be easier to recover from rejection if you tell yourself that it's the other person's loss and nothing personal. But brushing it off in this way also keeps you from taking full advantage of the opportunity and learning from the experience. Rather than dismissing the experience, ask yourself how you can use it to improve yourself and your efforts.

• Feel free to ask an interviewer for constructive feedback. They might not get back to you, but it doesn't hurt to ask. Their feedback will provide you valuable insight from the perspective of the interviewer, and you can use it to tweak your application materials and interview strategy in the future.

5.    Turn it into a positive. It's natural to feel bad after a rejection, but you can soften these negative feelings by turning it into something positive. For example, use a publishing house rejection as a way to become a better writer, or use your job or school rejection to make your next application stronger.

• It can help to remind yourself what you can and can't control. You can't control the fact that you got rejected, but you can control how you respond to it. Focus on your own actions and response to the rejection rather than obsessing over what happened.

Don't try to suppress the fact that you feel sad, guilty, or abandoned—process whatever emotions you're feeling. It can help to find a safe person to talk to or go to counseling to talk through those emotions to make sure you can move through it. If you try to avoid those feelings, they usually build up and reduce your ability to cope with them over time.

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Enjoy Your Day!!!

Message Sathish Kumar if you want to overcome your limiting beliefs. I'll show you how to get clarity about what you really want in life and unlock your astonishing potential.

I help ambitious professionals get in alignment with their authentic selves so that they experience greater levels of joy, creativity, clarity, and self-expression.