How effective are you at receiving feedback?

Leaders often ask for guidance in helping their colleagues get better at receiving feedback.

This is a perennial issue because so many of us have never had strong role models at receiving feedback. The truth is that being on the receiving end of feedback can be uncomfortable or at times even humiliating.

In my last newsletter, Is your feedback psychologically safe? , I explored Learning Trauma: experiences where we were should have been safe to learn, but were traumatised. Instead of being supported in our learning, we were on the receiving end of shame, humiliation or put downs.

Understandably, this means we can easily feel defensive or triggered when faced with uncomfortable feedback.

Do you welcome uncomfortable feedback?

I ask leaders if they regularly invite and welcome uncomfortable feedback from these colleagues, so that they can model how to receive feedback graciously. Many leaders are not aware of how critical this is.

Do you invite feedback from others as a way of modelling positive and open skills of receiving feedback? This is also a hugely impactful way of building psychologically safe relationships.

How do we build skills in receiving feedback?

Embracing the role of a learner when receiving feedback is a transformative journey that amplifies growth. Rather than taking feedback as a reflection of one's worth, this shift focuses on extracting valuable insights to foster learning, growth and development.

When you transition into the learning mindset, feedback becomes a treasure trove of wisdom. We can embrace the idea that every piece of feedback, whether positive or constructive, is a stepping-stone toward advancement. It is so helpful to detach our identity from the feedback and approach it as an opportunity to expand your knowledge and skill set.

Curiosity is key

Consider feedback as a guidepost on the path of personal and professional evolution. Allow yourself to be curious and open, seeking to understand the nuances of the feedback rather than instinctively defending yourself. This mindset empowers you to glean actionable insights, enabling you to make targeted changes that align with your aspirations.

You can transform feedback into a compass directing you toward excellence. Embrace the growth that comes with humility and a hunger for improvement. This shift not only elevates your abilities but also nurtures a resilient and adaptable spirit that is ready to conquer new challenges.

Guiding principles for receiving feedback

There are 11 principles for receiving feedback well:

1. Mindset Shift: Embrace the OpportunityAcknowledge that feedback is a gift for growth. Let go of defensiveness and be open to learning.
2. The Power of QuestionsSeek clarification if something is unclear. Ask for specific examples to better grasp the feedback.
3. Respond, Not ReactPause before responding to process the feedback. Avoid immediate defensiveness or argument.
4. Separate Feedback from Self-worthRemember that feedback addresses actions, not character. Avoid taking feedback as a personal attack.
5. Gratitude and AppreciationExpress gratitude for the feedback, regardless of its nature. Show that you value the giver's perspective.
6. Reflecting for GrowthTake time to process the feedback and its implications. Consider how the feedback aligns with your goals.
7. Identify Actionable InsightsIdentify specific areas for improvement or change. Break down feedback into actionable steps.
8. Seek Additional PerspectiveIf necessary, gather feedback from multiple sources for a well-rounded view. Compare feedback to gain a broader understanding.
9. Take ActionImplement the actionable insights into your practices. Monitor progress and changes based on the feedback.
10. Feedback LoopRevisit the feedback over time to track improvement. Share your progress with the giver, showcasing your commitment to growth.
11. Self-CompassionUnderstand that growth takes time, and setbacks are part of the process. Treat yourself kindly and continue on your development journey.

The art of receiving feedback is a catalyst for personal and professional advancement. Remember, receiving feedback is a skill that can be honed with practice. Each piece of feedback offers an opportunity to learn, adapt, and become a better version of yourself.

Resources

Right Kind of Wrong: Why Learning to Fail Can Teach Us to Thrive by Amy Edmondson

In her new book, Amy Edmondson - the world's most influential organisational psychologist - reveals how we get failure wrong, and how to get it right. She draws on a lifetime's research into the science of 'psychological safety' to show that the most successful cultures are those in which you can fail openly, without your mistakes being held against you. Read

Join my Feedback Conversations Masterclass

Giving and receiving feedback can be the trickiest conversations we have to navigate at work. To learn how to provide empowering and constructive feedback, register for my next masterclass on 30 October 2023.