How Doing What Serves You Brings Function Back

Have you ever realized something you’ve been doing for a while no longer serves you?

I have, and it happened again recently. Some might call what I did drastic, and truth be told, it was. But it was also necessary.

The reality is, I’d been struggling with my hair for a long time. It was long and beautiful, but it was also time-consuming and stressful. Washing, drying, and styling it took so much time (and energy) that I found myself avoiding it.

Most days, I’d wash it, then throw it in a wet ponytail. Either that or I’d wear a hat so I didn’t have to do anything with it. That’s how I was living my life the majority of the time. If I had a speaking engagement, I would invest the time to do it all start to finish, but otherwise it was ponytail living.

And don’t get me wrong: there’s not a thing wrong with ponytails — they are amoral, really. No moral value either way, good or bad.

But the ponytails or hats weren't the problem. Without actually styling my hair, I felt awful because I didn’t feel like myself. That was the problem.

After dealing with this for months, I actually started wishing I could shave my head. But I realized thinking my choices were either full-on style my hair OR shaving my head was black and white thinking — and I chose not to engage in that.

I knew I didn't have to choose between having my hair down my back or being bald. There was a solution somewhere in between, so I started looking around for what I thought might work for me.

I decided a pixie cut might be the best way to go. But I didn’t do it right away because I started getting in my own way again by thinking of all the reasons why super-short hair wasn’t okay.

“Can plus-sized women look okay with short hair?”

“Am I going to be judged for having shorter hair?”

“But all my photography for my business shows me with long hair — even my book!”

“What if my husband doesn’t like it?”

I finally decided to coach myself, asking…

“Since when do you care about what other people think about the body you have to live in?” (I don’t.)

“Since when is your relationship with your partner based on how your hair looks?” (It isn’t.)

“Since when is your brand about your hair and not about doing compassionate things that help you thrive?” (It never has been and never will be.)

My answers led me to one conclusion: it was time to cut my long hair off.

The truth is, I didn’t even know if I would like it. But what I did know is that I WOULD like the function it would bring back into my life. I WOULD like the freedom and the time I would get back.

So I did it. I cut it all off.

Now, it’s a “quick dry, straighten bangs, pomade in back and done” type situation. And that feels amazing.?

The only thing I wish I’d have done differently is listen to myself sooner. My frustration, shame, and sadness with the daily ponytail or hat routine was trying to tell me something — that it was time for a change.

But here’s what’s most important: I finally DID listen. I listened and made a compassionate change to help myself.

People tell me all the time they don’t have time to engage in burnout reduction strategies. And my response is always something like, “If burnout reduction isn’t bringing energy into your life, you’re using the wrong strategies for you.”

It’s been about a week since I cut my hair. The energy I feel is incredible.

One small change. Loads of mental and emotional energy recovered.

But now I’ve got some questions for you:

• When was the last time you took a risk to make your life more functional??
• What's the "unruly hair" that’s making your life more difficult right now??
• What do you need to stop doing because it no longer serves you and your emotional health?
• What do you need to start doing to bring energy and compassion back into your life?

Know that you are worthy of compassion, goodness, and function.

Whatever that looks like for you, do the thing.?