How Does Your Name Affect Your Influence?

I think I was in middle school when I learned that my name means “victory”: Laura comes from laurel, the leaves that were worn as crowns in ancient times as a symbol of victory or honor. I thought that was pretty cool.

Of course, I was slightly less enthusiastic when I discovered that laurel is just another name for a bay leaf… you know, that single, seemingly flavorless leaf you add whole – but don’t actually eat – in many soup recipes as you ask yourself, “why is this important again?”

What’s in a Name? More Than You Think

Fun fact – tomorrow, March 5th, is “Learn what your name means day”. (Yup, they have a day for everything!) If you know the etymology of your name, I hope you’ll share it with me!

Names carry a lot of meaning – they represent cultural, ethnic and linguistic heritage, genealogy, geography, class/caste, physical features, economics and of course, power.

The seeming pointlessness of a bay leaf notwithstanding, I do remember feeling a little more powerful as a kid at the idea that victory was something almost literally written onto my birth certificate. It was something I was proud of, and it gave me confidence.

How You Say Your Name Matters

Your name is a crucial part of your influence, starting with the fact that the way you introduce yourself speaks volumes about how you want others to respond to you. For example:

• If you mechanically race through it, it shows lack of empathy, collaboration and emotional intelligence
• If you sigh and brace yourself as you say it, in dreaded anticipation of having to repeat yourself or spell it or answer questions about it, people will perceive the dread first and foremost, which is a social deterrent.
• If you mumble it sheepishly, it projects “I don’t like talking about myself; I don’t want you to pay attention to me”… so they won’t!

The Pronunciation Problem

Your name can put others at ease if you make it easier for them to understand and pronounce, or it can make them hesitant to address you if your name includes sounds they are not familiar with or can’t easily pronounce, for fear of embarrassing either or both of you.

That was tough when I lived in Japan – both my first and last name have too many /r/ and /l/ sounds that made it quite a tongue twister for some Japanese people. (More than once I got “Ro…Rola…Roller.. Skate?” Uh, no…)

So whenever I sensed my real name was causing problems, I’d switch gears and invite them to call me by a particular Japanese nickname I had adopted for just such an occasion. The conversation usually progressed more smoothly from there.

Why People Change Their Names

Some people even change their name officially for various reasons, e.g.:

• Mark Sinclair → Vin Diesel
• Stefani Germanotta → Lady Gaga
• Mary Anne Evans → George Eliot (used a male nom de plume to be taken seriously as an author in the 19th century)
• Jeff Bezos almost named his company Cadabra, but thought it sounded too much like “cadaver,” and so we shop at Amazon
• Heck, I even changed my company name after a decade, as I explained in my “big reveal” post at the start of 2024.

The Universal Struggle of Remembering Names

Another challenge is that, seemingly universally, we’re all bad at remembering names, even if the name is as simple as “Ann Smith” or “Bob Jones.”

The good news, however, is that whether your name is short or long, common or rare, local or exotic to the other person, there are a few key steps you can – or rather, must – take to help people understand and remember yours:

1. Slow down!: Say your name at a speed that feels awkwardly slow to you. It doesn’t sound awkward to them, and trust me, you normally blitz through it before anyone even realizes you’re saying it.
2. Isolate the parts: If you’re sharing your first and last (and possibly middle) names, make sure they’re distinct, not one long, run-on word.
3. Intone them clearly: On your first name let your voice go up, pause, then on your last name, let your voice glide down, like a period at the end of the sentence.
4. SMILE when you say it!

Want to See This in Action?

Not sure what this sounds like in action? Check out my TEDxPenn talk, “Want to Sound like a Leader? Start by Saying Your Name Right.”

(It’s got over 6.9 million views… if you like it, please share it and help me push it over the 7 million mark!)

Whatever it is, and whatever its origin, how you teach people to say your name directly affects how they perceive you. Be intentional about sharing your name as the first layer of your brand.

This particular skill is never more important than when networking or at a job interview. It’s the first – and possibly last – impression you make. And it’s just one of the essential but often overlooked assets we develop in my Quantum Leap program for executives in career transition.

Wondering what else you might be overlooking? Here’s a free, two-minute career transition readiness survey to help you identify strengths and top development priorities to help you stand out from the competition.