How does one engage Gifted Children?

Attending a course on the traits and dispositions of gifted children in April this year was really illuminating. I learnt that there are various forms of giftedness, and different resulting traits.

I learnt that some gifted children will have a strong inclination towards the pursuit of righteousness and justice. I learnt that some gifted children think and express better in abstract terms and concepts. I learnt that executive functioning skills could be difficult to manage for some gifted children, because they may have strong obsessions in certain areas. These obsessions skew their sense of balance, and ability to accept that basic executive functioning skills are important scaffolds to achieve greater and more significant objectives.

What's boring could still be important. Then there is the problem of understimulation. Understimulation for an intellectually gifted child can feel like torture. Even the most well-intentioned and -behaved gifted child may find it difficult to hide that flash and sliver of boredom in their eyes. The lack of animation in their faces may suggest the deadening of any joy in learning. Some may not be able to help moving on to doing other things during the lesson.

I wasn't a gifted child myself, in that I wasn't from the Gifted Education Programme (GEP). When I entered Junior College, I was particularly intimidated by my comparative lack of intellectual prowess and finesse to many peers. Until I eventually came to accept that my perspective was fully my own. I could choose to celebrate the enriching opportunities I had in the school and glean from the bright schoolmates' minds and excellent teachers. I could just do my best. At least, that was the maturity I had hoped to have. Presently, this is how I would encourage any student in a similar situation today.

So it was hard to relate to a gifted child, not being streamed as gifted myself. There are some things which I have discovered over the years that help though.

Putting down my own pride and insecurities.

When one is challenged, it's very tempting to put up a front and quell all dissension. Isn't that classroom management? Wrong. It's inauthentic and any disobedient child or independent-minded teenager can whiff the fear emanating from the teacher from the last row in the classroom. It doesn't work to be reactive and to find immediate expression for fearful feelings. Effective engagement happens when there is intention: an intention to acknowledge a lack of knowing or a mistake; an intention to at least be interested in the student's question or opinion; an intention to understand.

It can be hard and feel scary to engage. One could try requesting for more time before getting back to answering that question or challenge. To the child, that's better than being dismissed. Even as adults, we don't like being dismissed. With time and increasing successful engagements, the educator will find that this uncomfortable process is worth the while. A conversation is built and the byproduct of mutual respect too.

Acknowledging that a gifted child is still a human being with unique thoughts and feelings.

Every child, gifted or not, have their own backgrounds, personalities and forming values. With empathy and understanding, I believe that all human beings soften and become collaborative or cooperative. If a gifted child is prideful and arrogant, building relationship and garnering their respect become more key. This isn't always easy, but an educator could always try. Some effort works towards successful relationship building better than none. Sometimes, they do come around or may have less defensive and argumentative days.

Not allowing any "putdowns", no matter how personal they may feel, to affect one's identity and value.

An educator has life experiences and wisdom to impart. Personally, I believe that teachers should still be subject matter experts and not just excellent facilitators. We can be the best subject matter experts that we can be, while refining our facilitation and communication skills.

On this note, communication comprises knowing how to speak to a gifted child relationally and persuasively. It's not enough to speak words and be direct. One should be artful and purposeful when communicating. When communication achieves its intended purpose, be it buy-in or cooperation from the gifted child, that's when it's effective. It's a process of trial and error.

A young person is learning how to self-regulate and how to express themselves appropriately. It takes a while to get this right. Sometimes, the seeming disrespect may genuinely be due to a lack of self-awareness and a lack of education. Respect may not be easily "caught" as modelled behaviour, but may need to be explicitly taught. It's not necessary and may not be accurate to assume that it's taught and modelled at home.

An educator's work has purpose and value. It can feel like a thankless job sometimes. There can be entitlement from the perspective of the "clients", as the educator is seen as a service provider who gets paid, and hence should do their job. When faced with "putdowns" and a lack of appreciation, hanging on to the meaning and purpose of my vocation helps me to walk the narrow path. It helps me to steel myself and continue working with grit. As I do so, I experience appreciation and care along the way, all the more precious when they're unexpected and rare.

Most of my strength and confidence have come from experiences of rejection and not feeling like I'm good enough. But the truth is, we are good enough as educators when we do our best and persevere. It's an enduring race, a long marathon.

There are always ways and strategies to engage better, whichever the group we are attempting to reach. One just needs to keep trying.