How does life go, those who started life with minuses?

First of all, I am sorry if my writing resonates with you… but it is for me….

Those of us who started life with minuses, how does life go?

From the beginning till now, putting 100% effort into life change. It doesn't matter how capable I am, how I start and how I finish. My only capital is dedication, effort, honesty and hard work etc. I have been making countless attempts to change my social identity in life. I always pray to Almighty Allah subhanallah who has increased my speed. Overall, I have never forgotten those people who have helped and supported me in my journey of life and try not to forget it. Every moment I pray to Allah to never forget them.

First of those by whom I am came in this earth i.e., my parents. When I dropped my education in class 3, my illiterate mother always putting prayer to re-admit in school. She only knows, at least one of her son has to study in university level. Sometimes, she just beating me why I am not in the school. Until last moment, I has beaten by mother. I never felt bad rather I missed now. One day I asked my mother, why you would like to your son in university? Her honest and simple reply- she never felt good once people called her wife of "painar bow”. At least she loves to hear the “Saheber MA” (mother of big official). Ultimately her demands are getting respects rather than ignorance from society. My father is another idol of my life who taught me “How to be dreamer”. My social ideology is my father who first taught me “what is the different between ethical and unethical income”. His best titled sentences what I always quoted and believe in every stage of my life. He always told- social identity could only changed by two ways- 1) good education and 2) business. As you don’t have money it would not possible for you to do business. That’s why you must be fully dedicated on education. As per him, I had only one option to change life that was education. Till today, I believe on his titled sentences. I forgot to miss his end sentence, if ALLAH support then only possible. Otherwise, all efforts may goes as effortless. Again, only demand for social prestige/ social honor.

?I felt I am very much fortunate / lucky to get another person who always praying to Allah for increase the social prestige. More than 15 years never created any monetary demand. Loves to stay behind the screen by dropping the water from eyes that only seen by Allah. Always, hide all pains silently. Only Allah knows how much freedom she provided to me. Never stopped me for anything. When I am staring and ending the days. Unlimited days, she is passing without proper accompany from mine. Become expert to hide her own pains, sorrows and happiness. Maybe only because her borderless freedom speed up my life to do the changing tasks in my life. I always tried to maintain her freedom. However, we both are in full believes on Luck that made by ALLAH. She is the inspiration of all good works. But why, again to change the social value.

It’s mean, we are not living in the good society. In this so-called society always treating us very negatively. People always taking taste to disrespect and ignorance of poor people like us. That’s why are running to catch up the social value.

I would be selfies if I do not acknowledge to those who is supporting me, helping me, guided me without seeking any benefits from me. I personally always salute them without mentioning their names and designations.

Come to the final points. What is the outcomes of above sacrifices? Allah helped me to return their expected social prestige. But who availed it? I lost my first 3 guides never counted their return. First 2, they are sleeping in the different earth and never counting anything. Last one, never calculate the return as she is still praying for me which would be restless in her whole life. Never expecting anything.

And I, I still ran at full speed to increase or hold social status. I know, if you make a mistake in life, this society will nullify all achievements in a minute. Despite all efforts, the question arises in the mind-

Am I played perfect roles to caring my parents, my wife, son and society. If I put less efforts to change social dignity, maybe I would get more time to care my parents, get time to memories death anniversary, marriage anniversary, birth day (again I am lucky as we did not believe on anniversary as per Islamic rules) etc. But still missed those days due to bullshit busyness of life. Sorry for not praying perfect roles to my friends, families and sounding. Nothing to do as still we don’t have any back up as we started our life with minus.

I asked one of my favourite junior professor (my debate partner) - "What is the past". His answer: People are old in the past and young in the future. I not totally disagree with that. According to me, the past is the motion of life, which works like the steam engine of the life machine. The driving force of life is the past. The tougher the past, the tougher the life. Who forgets the past, whose life is motionless. Does it matter what your past was like? The past means speed, the past means remembering the path of life, the past is not just a memory. The past means learning from behind, the past means finding your own way. The past means education valued by contributors.

It was 2002- Dada gave me a place to sleep in Dhaka mega city, no questions asked, even he had never seen me before. In 2007, we had only one plate to eat for two, no bed to sleep on, no charger fan, no fridge, no TV. And now, we are happy in all aspects of life BUT not caring those special moments of life. I really felt bad on it. Ultimately, this is the pace of life, the understanding of life and bad impact of speed.

The only fear is to increase the social value so as not to go away from the society. May Allah increase social closeness as social value increases. I know, I can't, but there is no lack of effort. May Allah give me the ability to hold the honor that He has given to me.

Behind the driving force behind this happiness is the prayer of the above people, after all, Allah willed, the memory of the past gave impetus. May Allah keep this pace and do all the responsibilities properly.

The present means forgetting the past is not the meaning of life. I love those who still care about my past.

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