How do your know if your Work-Life Balance is unbalanced?
Imagine this: You are at the park with your kid, but all you can do is think about that deadline you have soon or that email you should still send. Sounds familiar? Well, that is one of the signs that your work-life balance is not quite where it needs to be.
Although work-life balance isn't always about work , work is often one of the most obvious reasons for lower happiness in life.
In this article I will share the most mentioned, but also the less common signs that your Work-Life Balance is not where it could be.
The signs you probably already know, with a twist:
Working way more hours than you should
You are spending longer hours at the office, take your work home with you and even the weekends or not safe from emails or reading up on something.
Granted, this happens sometimes and can be part of the job. But when it happens consistently it might be time to evaluate your workload or see where you can work more efficiently.
What if it is not just work?
Your work are normal hours, but on top of that you are taking the kids to and from school, making sure the house is tidy, taking care of a family member or showing your face at social gatherings.
You constantly feel rushed, it is hard to keep the overview on everything that is going on and your energy level is quite low.
Chronic stress
When you experience stress, people often related to symptoms such as:
But less obvious signs of chronic stress are:
In short, chronic stress can manifest itself in many, many ways. Especially your body gives you a lot of signs that you are crossing certain boundaries.
Neglecting personal life
When we feel overwhelmed, one of our strategies to cope with it is to (thoughtlessly) do more. Try to keep up with everything that is going on. Something I recognize from my burn-out.
I started working more and more to try to keep up with all the work. When everyone went home and it went quiet, that was the time when I could do administration and catch up with the backlog.
In the end I worked 14-16 hours a day, cancelling evening plans and events on the weekend. Until a friend of mine said to me: "I saw you more often when you where working in France than now that you are back in the Netherlands". Ouch.
When you start cancelling things that normally bring you joy and energy is a clear sign that something is not right. The same counts for your selfcare, skipping your work-outs, getting take-out and living on snacks. Basically sacrificing everything to be able to continue to (sort of) keep up with your workload.
There are also signs that you might not associate with your work-life balance, but definitely are related...
Less obvious signs that you can look out for:
Getting triggered by your kids & loved ones
Normally you are able to laugh when your kids drop something on the floor, don't eat their dinner or run but naked through the house while you want to put them to bed. But now, your patience is gone and you get angry with them withing 5 seconds.
Not only that, your partner is annoying you much more quickly than they used to.
Afterwards you feel guilty because you didn't want to respond that way, even though you couldn't help it.
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Losing creativity
Thinking of solutions and new ideas used to come easy to you. But now you don't get further than the inside-the-box, cookie-cutter ideas. Your creativity has gone down the drain. Frustrating you in the process, because it doesn't help you since you are already stressed.
Usually you go for a walk, take a long shower or bath and the ideas will come back to you. But hey, you don't have time for that now. You needed everything finished yesterday...
Feeling guilty
When you are at work you think of your kids who are being taken care of by others, when you are with your kids you think about the deadlines you have this week.
Meanwhile, you haven't visited that sick relative in weeks, you have 20+ people you have to respond to in your whatsapp and you can't remember when you've had quality time with your partner.
You run in circles trying to make everybody happy, out of guilt. Forgetting yourself in the process.
Lack of joy in activities
When you do get around to doing the things you used to love, you cannot enjoy it as much as you used to. You worry about other things, are busy with the next thing on your calendar. You just can't seem to keep your mind where you are.
You wonder why and beat yourself up for the fact that you cannot enjoy what you are doing.
The tricky thing is, a negative Work-Life Balance is a slippery slope. One that can creep up on you slowly, not noticing that it is happening to you.
Are you in your uncomfortable comfort zone?
You are in a place that once was out of your comfort zone. You grew into it. And now you are safely in your comfort zone.
But what if that comfort zone is not suiting you anymore? The circumstances changed, you want something different, you want more?
Then it just might be that your comfort zone has become uncomfortable. Causing you to feel drained, frustrated, unhappy.
But getting out of that comfort zone could actually be scarier than staying there.
Because you know what you can expect in your comfort zone and you don't know what the outcome will be when you step out of it.
Your brain wants to keep you in the familiar and safe spot. Even if it makes you unhappy in the long run.
That is why people, maybe even you, stay in a job they don't like, don't send boundaries with family / loved ones or don't dare to move to a new place.
So how do you improve your Work-Life Balance?
Well, you have to start living more consciously. Stand still and put a magnifying glass on the things you are doing. Why are you actually doing it? And in that way?
What are the things that are draining you the most? The answer will probably not lie on the surface, but you have to dive deeper.
Start getting curious as to how you work. Not just in a professional manner. But also in your other relationships. What worked for you in the past might not support you now.
And if you want a more practical guide to create a Work-Life balance that works for you, not just now, but in all of the next phases of your life, sign up for the Linkedin Live on the 13th of June!
6 Steps to create your effortless Work-Life balance:
I would love to "see" you there and tell you more about this fascinating topic !