How Do You Respond?

Levels of Engagement: How Do You Respond?

?Steve Correa

When someone speaks or posts, how do you truly respond? Let’s explore this through what I call the Levels of Engagement:?

Level 1: ????????

Ignored. The message was received but unanswered, leaving the sender in a void, wondering if anyone noticed.

?Level 2: ????????

Acknowledged with a Like: A quick nod—a digital thumbs-up that says, "I see you," but doesn’t go beyond that.

?Level 3: ????????

A Monosyllabic Response Here is brief, like “I agree” or “Well said,” acknowledging the person but not necessarily the depth of their message.

?Level 4: ????????

Engaged with Reflection: The responder elaborates on what resonated with them, reflecting on the message and showing genuine thought.

?Level 5: ????????

Fully Engaged: This is where the conversation blooms. The responder reflects and adds their perspective, asks questions, and opens the dialogue for deeper exploration.

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Reflecting on Leadership Moments

?In leadership coaching, I've observed that engaging with others can significantly shape our relationships. Sometimes, merely acknowledging someone’s presence can be enough to create a sense of connection, and in deeply connected relationships, like long-term marriages, this can happen effortlessly. However, what happens when we don’t engage deeply enough in our professional or personal lives?

?In The Anxiety Generation, the author discusses how we increasingly lean towards quick, surface-level interactions—Levels 1 or 2—without delving into meaningful exchanges. This trend isn’t just limited to younger generations; it’s becoming the norm across age groups. So, how often do we truly join the other person, celebrating their feelings and sharing ours in return?

?Human Connection: Are We Losing It?

?At our core, humans are wired for connection, as Brené Brown explores in her work on vulnerability. She states: "Connection is why we’re here; it gives purpose and meaning to our lives." Yet, many of us find ourselves merely scrolling, ‘liking,’ or giving fleeting affirmations that don’t nurture this innate need. Psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication, emphasised the importance of truly understanding and empathising with others rather than just offering superficial responses. He believed that deep, empathetic engagement was essential for fostering authentic connections.

?A Call to Reflect

?I invite you to reflect on your daily interactions. At what level do you respond when you engage with others—whether in person, through messaging apps, or on social media? Are you offering a quick, surface-level nod or diving deeper, creating space for connection and understanding??

• When was the last time you responded beyond a 'like'?
• How often do you take the opportunity to truly connect by elaborating on what you resonate with?
• In what areas of your life could you shift from a Level 1 response to a Level 5 engagement?

Building Deeper Connections

?Consider the implications in leadership. Carl Rogers, a prominent figure in humanistic psychology, said: "When someone really hears you without passing judgment, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mould you, it feels damn good!"

?Deep engagement—Level 5—offers a sense of being truly seen and heard. Leaders who operate from this level build trust and inspire a culture where team members feel valued and motivated. The challenge is to move from automatic, quick responses to a more intentional, reflective, and engaged way of being. It requires awareness and effort, but the rewards—a deeper sense of connection, authenticity, and understanding—are immense.

?Final Thought

?As I reflect on my own patterns, I recognise that I, too, fall into the habit of surface-level interactions, especially in spaces like WhatsApp groups. It’s easy to slip into routine responses. Yet, the more I become aware of these habits, the more I consciously engage fully. How about you? The next time someone shares something with you, be it a small thought or a significant insight, pause and ask yourself: What level of response will I offer? Let’s reconnect with our innate desire to express and relate deeply. It’s not just about the conversation; it’s about honouring the human need to be seen, heard, and valued.

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