How do you....?

How do you....?

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It's a funny question, "How do you get someone to take action?"

It was a question posed to me this week when discussing helping people reach their goals. "How do you get people to take the action so they can actually get it?"

My answer was quite simple.

"You DON'T."

Silence.

I never get anyone to do ANYTHING. I help people figure out what it is they need to do, and we create actions together that make sense based on what they want. If they are not taking action, I coach them.

We uncover WHY aren't they taking action?

Why are they choosing something else (i.e. procrastination- yes that's a choice) over what they 1) Said they want and 2)have committed to?

What are they MORE committed to then this thing they SAID they are?

I help my clients get really honest with themselves. I don't 'GET' them to do anything, not even be honest. I just hold up the mirror that shows: You say you want X, you know Y will get you there, and yet you are not doing it. Why?

Maybe they don't REALY want X. Maybe they want something else MORE. Maybe they don't really believe that Y will get them there? So much to explore.

But if the facts are there is gas in the gas station, and someone needs gas, I don't need to convince anyone of that, or do anything to 'get' them to go there when their car is out of gas. We establish, if your car has no gas, go to the gas station.

That's it.

If they are NOT going to the gas station, this is a fascinating thing to have a discussion about.

Do you not your car is out of gas?

Do you not believe your car needs gas to run?

Do you believe it does, but are very afraid of there being no gas AT the gas station?

Does it seem like too much work to GO to the gas station?

Are you happier sitting here with no way to get to work, because now maybe you WON'T have to go to work?

I have no idea. I just explore it. But the fact is there, I don't convince them of it.

This is a great skill to learn no matter WHO you are. You will up your quality of life, and really HELP those around you, if you stopped trying to get anyone to do anything. If you stopped buying into their excuses and got to the bottom of things.

You can try in vain to get people to do things.

Or you can REALLY help them by showing them there's a commitment missing on THEIR end that's really holding them back.

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