How do you reduce conflict in your relationship?

Relationship conflict is usually impacted by two things.

Firstly, it’s the mix of behavioural styles within the relationship?

And?

Secondly, it’s the masculine and feminine energy between you.

Behavioural Styles

When analysing behavioural styles, if two people in the relationship both have a dominant style, it’s likely that they will regularly be jostling for that dominant position.?

To convince the other person that their view is the ‘right’ view.

And as you’d expect, if there’s a winner and a loser, it causes conflict.

Why do some couples yell and others don’t?

Some couples simply don’t argue because they are more motivated by pleasing each other and avoiding conflict. These couples have the occasional row but it will rarely become a repetitive cycle.?

One of the 4 behavioural styles is dominant.?

Dominant people are typically not people pleasers so they feel comfortable with a level of conflict and sometimes thrive from it.

They might even be motivated to cause conflict to satisfy this need to be dominant.?

It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed just because you are both dominant characters.?

It’s important to raise awareness of this as there are lots of strategies to help you work through it.

When you identify your behavioural styles and how this fits with your partner, you learn greater empathy for each other.

Then there are some simple steps to follow for you to reduce the conflict in future..

I’ve personally coached couples that spent years repeating the same arguments over and over again.?

Those same people now laugh whenever they can sense this conflict bubbling to the surface.?

They have learned to label it and choose a different response.

Masculine and Feminine Energy

The second reason is linked with the blend of masculine and feminine energy in your relationship.?

Some couples have a neutral masculine or feminine energy.

However, this is pretty rare. In fact it’s only about 10% of couples that are actually neutral or balanced through their natural essence.?

These balanced couples are very unlikely to argue regularly.?

However, for the other 90%... of course arguments are more common.?

Most couples will have a different or complimentary mix of masculine and feminine energy.?

Otherwise known as the relationship polarity.?

Polarity is great for chemistry, but it can also cause conflict.?

The greater the polarity, the greater the conflict, so someone with a really strong masculine essence would typically be attracted to someone with a very strong feminine essence.?

When these couples argue, it might quickly escalate into a raging argument and then a short time later, they will have passionate make-up sex to resolve the tension!?

Yes, the sex is electric between these couples, but the trade off is the intensity of the arguments too.

So what’s the solution?

Well, you don’t want to neutralise this polarity completely and lose the spark between you, but you do want to find more constructive ways of communicating.?

By understanding each other’s needs, you can better understand the whole package you both offer to the relationship, not just the sex.

And it’s often the case that couples face the reality that there will be behavioural traits as well as masculine and feminine characteristics that frustrate each other.

However, if they can use their masculine and feminine qualities to offer the right kind of love and support, they will be destined for success.

There are so many different strategies you can apply to improve your relationship and it’s often the help of a coach that can open up your perspective.?

I would love to help you gain a better understanding of yourself and your relationship dynamic.?

I’m always open to a chat to see if we’re the right fit to work together in some capacity so please do feel free to get in touch.?

~Steve~