HOW DO YOU REACT TO SITUATIONS YOU DO NOT LIKE AND CANNOT CHANGE?

It is all to easy to fight situations we find ourselves in that we do not like.?In fact, I am currently struggling with such a situation in my own life right now.

Sometimes we can change things by our own actions.?Other times, we can initiate change and then have to step back to allow others to actually make the changes.?However, it is the final type of action we can make that often provides us with the most difficult decisions we have in situations we do not like.?That is, when we cannot change or influence change but still have the decision to choose to accept it or not.

My situation involves family.?I wonder how many of you can identify with this!?I really want the situation to be different, but I have learned one major thing as I have grown more self-aware and understand how all my relationships with others work (and don’t work!).?This is the choice I have, even in the situation I cannot change.?I STILL HAVE A CHOICE - I can choose to forgive and accept, or I can choose to fight and resist.

My natural leaning growing up was always to MAKE FORCE BULLY or MANIPULATE others into doing what I wanted them to do.?This was an attempt to organise my world and have control in it. This was instead of recognising that I am only responsible for MY OWN actions, thoughts, beliefs, emotions and ultimately happiness in life.?Other people have their own choices to make and reasons for making them.

At times, what others choose may not align with what we want from them. However, when we accept a difficult situation for what it is and instead focus on how we can handle our own emotions and responses, it helps us to let go of any pain or anger that could hinder our progress. I have now reached this place in my family situation and am now focusing on ME AND MY FUTURE, whilst KEEPING CHANNELS OPEN FOR FUTURE RECONCILIATION, should this happen.

Although the renowned theologian Reinhold Niebuhr’s famous “Serenity Prayer” is often viewed as a clique used in 12-step programmes, I have found that this now reminds me to accept unchangeable situations and find the courage to keep going despite them.

It encourages me to have the courage to accept situations that I cannot change or influence, and to own my own emotional responses.

By using the “Serenity Prayer” and accepting situations beyond my control, I have received a number of benefits, including:

- A renewed sense of peace and clarity

- Increased emotional stability

- Increased awareness of self-control

- Improved stress management skills

When we get to this stage of "letting go", this allows us to release excessive worrying and ruminating over situations we can't change. When we recognize that we cannot control external factors, we can shift our energy towards internal control.

By accepting the things you cannot change, it does NOT mean you are happy with them or even want them, however, it DOES MEAN you too can take back control of your minds and use your newfound strength to keep working towards your personal goals.

For more information on how to actually achieve the state of "letting go" please do let me know below and I will reach out to you with further ideas and options.