How do you measure success?

After my mother died, my life changed dramatically. I was in year eight at school. Halfway through the year, my mother collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. The night she collapsed, she told me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me.

As a typical twelve year-old, I shrugged her off. However, I can remember there was something different in her look and in her voice. I always find that the last time you have a conversation with someone, it is truly meaningful. I wonder if they know it is their last chance to tell you how they feel?

I hugged her and told her I would come with her to the doctor’s office the next day. She had been in a number of times, but they told her it was just a sinus infection and gave her medication. It was the medication that made her sick. She had dark circles under her eyes and she looked very sad. I loved her so very much and miss her even today. Sometimes my boys say how they would have loved to have met her and I feel my heart almost break. I would love nothing more that to have that unconditional love from her again and for her to have met my family. It is strange for me to think that I only spent 12 years with my family unit in my childhood. 

That unconditional love is something that has been absent for years in my life, although that lack has made me a stronger person – the person I am today. I think that may have been why at times I felt like the rug was being pulled from under my feet. It is I realise now impossible to built strong tall buildings without strong foundations.

As I look ahead to 2018 and remember this time (some 35 years or more ago) I look back at it with the knowledge that I was shaped by this event. It was a steep learning curve. It taught me resilience and courage. And I am grateful!

Success is not measured by your present situation. A true measurement of success is measure from where you started and then where you are currently. People's lives from the outside can look perfect but the struggles within are often not evident. Just look at Facebook - smiling faces, in beautiful places with lots of friends. Are those people smiling back at you really happy? Or do they need social proof that they are? AND lots of "likes" to confirm it ?

How to measure success from within?

1. Are you happy most of the time?
2. Do you focus on what you have (rather than lack)?
3. Do you measure your success from where you started?
4. Do you compare yourself to others? (Remember they may have started from a different point)
5. Do you congratulate yourself for what you have achieved?
6. Are you willing to make change to get better results or do you need to be right?
7. Are you willing to INVEST in you? (As you are the most important person)

If you answered YES to most of the above questions you are already successful. Often we are harder on ourselves than anyone else. Congratulate yourself for being you as like me, you are truely unique.....and much of your story is hidden.

A REMINDER HERE TO TAKE ACTION:

“Do. Or do not. There is no try.” Yoda - The Empire Strikes Back

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