How do you manage the ‘family’ in a family business?

Do you need an outsider to take a peek inside for you?

The term ‘family business’ – to those that have never been directly involved in one – conjures up all those romantic images of several generations of family working together harmoniously building a thriving and sustainable empire that will last forever and be successful for years and years to come.

The reality can be so very different.

Truthfully though, unevenly shared responsibilities, equal pay between family members, unclear definitions of roles, sibling rivalries, differences in work ethic, timekeeping, commitment levels, controlling parents, lack of any form of real succession plan, far too many chiefs, and all the negative spin off effect's on other managers or team members are just a few of the challenges I’ve encountered while working with and even running a family businesses.

In addition, although there can be real tensions amongst the family members themselves, it can be extremely challenging for an outsider to come in and question the behavior of other members of the ‘family’. It’s a very emotive area, and it’s probably one of the most challenging areas of business coaching, although also the most rewarding when we fix it.

Spending over 20 years in a family business is what led me into business coaching in the first place, it's why I joined YAB - Your Affordable Board and why I chose to start Forward Thinking - East Lancashire , and this is the part of business coaching that I find really really interesting.

Coaching is very much like like trying to drain a river. On the surface of a river, everything can look quite smooth, powerful and free flowing. But if the river is drained, it suddenly exposes the bed of the river below and all the sharp rocks and imperfections that lurk beneath the surface. These will have always been there, but it’s only through ‘draining’ or ‘coaching’ that they are exposed. This is so true in business. More often than not there are personalities, behaviours, employees and hundreds of issues that are glaringly obvious to the objective onlooker like me, but the business owners either don’t see it or have sub-consciously chosen to ignore them, because they don’t know how to deal with any of the issues. If I've learnt anything over the last 20-30 years, It's that you'll always get exactly what you are prepared to tolerate. In some cases, you may even feel that by tackling it, you could do irreparable damage to the business and the relationships within the business or even your own family.

Some indications that you might have ‘family’ issues in your family business:

Even though you may be the ‘owner’ of this business now, are you still making decisions in the business based on the beliefs and values of the original owners (often parents or even grandparents), and even worse NOT making decisions because of these same beliefs and values?

Some people even have a fear of expanding?

Do you deal with certain suppliers regardless of their service levels, cost or product choice, because that’s what we've always done or you’ve always dealt with?

Have you inherited some of the Self limiting behaviours or habits of your parents?

In a business where there may be joint ownership (siblings/couples/parent-child), are you avoiding making decisions and moving forward because of the difficulty in communicating and reaching agreement on business issues? Maybe just given up arguing, it's just not worth it.

Is there a lack of accountability? or as the business owner you are failing to deal with poor performance to avoid confrontation or worse still, unprofessional behavior of family members?

Do you find that there are no boundaries between work life and family life and that it can be a source of tension and arguments when out at family events?

Do you have confused and de-motivated team members, simply because of them receiving contradicting orders from different family members in the business? maybe the one who wanted the MD role but resented Dad's decision

Do you have family members working for you who won’t take direction themselves, and then disrupt other team members, and you’ve failed to deal with it because of a fear of the formation of a family rift?

Do you spend hours around the kitchen table at home discussing business issues and challenges?

Is the ‘business’ behavior of your partner affecting the intimacy of your personal relationship?

Have you failed to put a succession plan in place…or even broached the subject…due to the fear of another fall out?

Are you avoiding systemising and delegating responsibility because of the ‘guilt’ of allowing someone else to know the families trade ‘secrets’ or the real financial situation?

If the ‘name above the door’ is keeping you ‘stuck’ in your business i.e. you’re not moving forward and you’re feeling stressed out by the very real emotional factors of running a family business, maybe it’s time to get some outside help.

Even booking in for a Business Mapping Session will help you gain clarity on what you’re trying to achieve in your personal life, and therefore what would need to change in the business in order to achieve those personal goals.

I can pretty much guarantee that you wont know what each other is wanting from the business, without this knowledge, no plan will ever work.

Over the last two years I’ve helped dozens of businesses and several family businesses even just members of a family businesses to get clarity on the current direction of the business, clarify roles, responsibilities and ‘rules of the game’.

In addition, we’ve been able to remove the obstacles that have been holding the business back from real business growth. Sometimes the family relationships and the resulting behavior are crippling the business, and it’s unfair on the business itself as well as the other team members. This is the real reason that you may be suffering from retention issues or that constant search for the right team member

Contact me today, if you can identify with any of the above and would like to do something about it.

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Do you need help working out whats missing in your business?

Do you need an outside perspective?

THIS is exactly what we do at Forward Thinking East Lancashire, let us help you to define your future and reach your destination with Passion, Purpose and Clarity.

Click the link above and book a call, let's book a complimentary 90 minute Business Mapping Session.

This is so achievable. Trust me "I did it", so can you. It's all about re-framing your purpose and your mission and then sharing your journey.

PEOPLE.DO.WORK