How do you like your rejections?

Rejections suck. But I’ve always had the perspective that a graceful rejection is not only the right thing to do but can be a differentiator for you as a recruiter, and will elevate your company’s brand.

Early in my career, my standard “proper” rejection for an in-person interview was a phone call to let the candidate know they wouldn’t be moving forward for this role. I would even go so far as to leave a very untelling voicemail if I didn’t reach them live, so the candidate wouldn’t get too excited by my message, nor know they were getting a rejection call. When we were able to connect live, I would thank them so much for their time throughout the process, and emphasize that while they weren’t selected for the role, we all very much enjoyed meeting them.?

I called those calls “ripping off the bandaid'', because quickly sharing the rejection feedback with the candidate was really uncomfortable, and sometimes - although very rarely - would result in the candidate being upset. I quickly learned that candidates will try to answer any objections, meaning if I rejected them for X, Y or Z experience needed in the role, they would tell me that they indeed have that experience, and it must not have come through during their interviews.?

So these calls became delicate balances of being thankful, and sharing a bit, but not too much detail, so the person wouldn’t feel their interview experience was ineffective. My rejections nearly always involved an open door for future roles, and I was able to hire those candidates sometimes days later (really!) when another similar role opened, or if my hiring manager decided to fight for additional budget to hire our silver medalist as well.?

Fast forward years later when I was managing teams of recruiters. The recruiters didn’t want to call candidates anymore, and when I asked why they let me know that candidates don’t want a rejection call either. It’s crunchy and uncomfortable on both sides. What did they want? Quick feedback, with a succinct email, explaining a bit more of the why, and offering a follow up call if the candidate wanted one. More often than not, they didn’t, and were just happy to have been told the outcome.

Bree Silveira, one of my favorite recruiters, likes to keep her rejections very personal. While she’ll try to reach the candidate by phone first - and will leave the rejection on voicemail so it’s received - she also does a fast follow with a personal email. “I want my candidates to know that I’m there and available for them. There won’t be any black holes.”?

Speaking of black holes. There are black holes - applying and never getting a response back - and then there is ghosting. When you’ve had that great La La Land phone screen, or gotten even further through the process and then you don’t hear back. It hurts. You might even reach out to your recruiter one or many times, and hear crickets. To maybe - maybe - get an automated email when the role is eventually filled.?

I have a lot of empathy for recruiters, especially these days. Roles can get 200+ applicants in an hour. There are less recruiters on teams these days, and more and more candidates needing attention. If you’re lucky, you have a solution like Talent Wall, which will give you a great view of those candidates who need attention, but maybe not. And if not, perhaps you have another 200+ candidates for each week your role is open. But once your candidates are in process, let’s hope you’re more like Bree, respecting your pipeline and realizing that person is playing a waiting game - a stressful, emotional one - trying to land that next role.

Rejections suck, but are a necessary part of any job search. There’s no easy button that allows us to pop the right candidate into that perfect role, so we have to live with some rejections and maybe some black holes along the way. But hopefully we can arm our teams with tools and templates, empathetically crafted, to show our candidates that we do appreciate their time and care about how they’ve felt through the process.?

How do you like your rejections? Do you have a favorite way of telling someone the bad news? Leave me a comment. I find it all so interesting.

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That’s So Interesting is a passion project series of articles on the recruiting, candidate and hiring experience. I’m also available for consulting assignments large and small, including executive search, contingency engagements, and TA or HR leadership strategy.?