How do you like to be appreciated?

In The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, Gary Chapman and Paul White talk about 5 "value currencies" with which people can show appreciation. They all can be a form of positive feedback, and all have their place, but there’s a catch: Most people favor one of them above the others. Therefore, it's important not only to show appreciation, but to know how the recipient wants to receive it. There are fancy assessments that determine your favored value currency, but the easiest way to find out is to just ask. The 5 languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation - Affirming others using written or spoken words, praising their accomplishments. Something that says, “hey, I noticed, and this was great.” Some people like the affirmation publicly, while others like it privately. Still others don’t like it at all. They don’t want to be told they did something well, they want appreciation shown in other ways. Like…
2. Quality Time - Showing appreciation by giving someone undivided personal attention. Quality conversations, shared experiences (e.g. offsites), brainstorms. Some people see this act as the ultimate compliment – the willingness to spend time is received as an affirmation of the value of the work being done, and a vote of confidence in the employee’s opinion. Others are like “leave me alone! I got this.”
3. Acts of Service - Recognize the value of the work by pitching in to get something done. With this one, it helps to be cautious on some potential pitfalls, like asking before helping and finishing what you start.
4. Tangible Gifts - A gift card, a bottle of wine. To some, this physical token of appreciation says it all. Others would have been happy with a nice email or a moment of their time.
5. Points of contact - Checking in, touching base with a “Do you have everything you need?” or a “how’s everything going.” – This both shows the employees you’re thinking about them and gives them an opportunity to express themselves. Done the wrong way, it can feel like micro-managing.

The success or failure of each of these techniques is in the eye of the beholder. When matched with the employee’s favored value currency, they can be like rocket fuel of motivation. With a mismatch, they can backfire spectacularly.

Does one of them jump out as a way you like to receive positive feedback? Have you ever given or received feedback that felt great--or fell totally flat? Tell me in the comments.